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LikeMinds321

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  • Content Count

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  • Joined

  • Days Won

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LikeMinds321 last won the day on May 1 2011

LikeMinds321 had the most liked content!

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About LikeMinds321

  • Rank
    I'll think about it
  • Birthday 08/31/1952

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Married Female
  • Location
    With Wild Things
  • Interests
    Learning what makes people tick
  • Swinging Experience
    We began in 2004

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  1. I have found it typical of swingers to make it known that they are looking you over. Some men can look me over from head to toe and it feels wonderful. Other men do it in a way that makes my stomach turn. I don't know how you do it, so I can't tell you what type of vibe you're sending off. Yes, swingers most definitely put off vibes that others feel.
  2. Seven months ago, not long after your arrival, you made this statement: You have learned that you aren't enjoying the swinging environment. The one MFM was only okay, from what I gather when you mention it, and your 5 or so visits to swinger clubs have resulted in you being more unhappy with yourself. With all the pumping up people have given you in your threads you continue unchanged. You have not been affected in any positive way. I think it's time for you to drop the idea of becoming a swinger. You're making way too much out of this. You don't have to be a swinger. As a vanilla wife you felt superior to your husband's friend's wives. Swinging won't provide you with this same feeling. I will say this to any woman who comes here. There will always be women swingers who are hotter, sexier, prettier and do more sexually and better than you can. I knew this when we started swinging, and it is because swinging wives understand this that we can handle swinging and have fun doing it. I can't convince you to understand this, no one can. Find another way to have private adult time with your husband, away from your boys, that is fun and makes you feel good about yourself.
  3. Learning something upsetting about a friend can happen in life. It's especially disappointing when you weren't expecting the friend to make the behavior choice. It changes your view of them, but you live with it. I think you should keep it to yourself. You set up this experiment to expose cheaters and now you have learned that people who you thought would never cheat can exist among your friends. There are even single people who prefer to have sex with married people willing to cheat. They find each other.
  4. You have come upon a situation that will continue to occur when someone contacts you who doesn't provide all the pictures you require upfront. When you have to ask for pictures after reading their profile and e-mail introduction, they will know it is because of those pictures that you turned them down. For this reason, I would recommend stating in your profile that you require face and physique pictures with first introduction. And of course, you must be prepared to send out the same on first contact to those you e-mail. You could tell him it is because of his mustache, BUT be darn sure your wife would meet him IF he shaved it off for her. He may be happy to do so and if he shaves it you'll no longer have an excuse for not meeting. Which, brings me to this point: If your wife absolutely will not meet guys with mustaches I think you should say that in your profile. Let us know what you decide to do and how it turns out. LM
  5. Hi archman, welcome to the Swingers Board. My first impression upon reading your wife's text is that I feel she is having a bit of fun, joking around, more than anything. I do not see it as a serious show of deep feelings for the guy. Most of the writing seems 'cheap paperbook romance' in its style and there is a distinct change in style with these lines that I've quoted. I wonder if these I've pulled up are more like how your wife communicates and thinks? You know your relationship with your wife and her personality, I don't, but I have to wonder if her texts are merely a reflection of poor choice rather than any true feelings she has for this guy. The problem with funning around too much with text like this with playmates is that misunderstandings can happen too easily. What is meant in fun can be taken seriously, and sometimes it can start sounding real to both parties involved and they could start to think there is more to their swing relationship than exists. I'm not explaining this very well; my bottom line is let her know it isn't wise to text like this. Let her know you aren't comfortable with it and you would like her to be more careful in how she communicates to her playmates. After you have a talk with her she may feel real stupid for every having sent these texts. LM
  6. Checking out how the Visitor Messages works.

     

    Thanks for all you do to make this a great place!

     

    LM

  7. Have you met him only once? Did you have sex with him on that first meet? I ask because you didn't make that clear. And are you asking how regular (often) most people play with the same person, or how often swingers communicate with each other? LM
  8. Hi and welcome! Are you playing with these friends exclusively? Please return to explain. If your only swinging with this couple, your wife may be bored. Few people play exclusively with only one couple, especially if it is on a regular basis. The solution may be as simple as finding new people to play with.
  9. I see now what has concerned you. For me, not complimenting him more, or holding off complimenting for a while, would not be done to punish. I would do it to see if changing my pattern may have an influence on his pattern. If I found it didn't make things better I would return to my usual behavior of giving genuine compliments. On a personal note, if I stopped complimenting my husband it would be very difficult for me to do because I am so used to it. I give him compliments daily--without a prior thought--it comes so naturally. It would feel odd to hold back compliments, but I would be willing to give it a try to see if something could be improved in our relationship. This would be a test, and tried for only a reasonable period of time. LM
  10. I asked because I wanted to hear what you would say. I was hoping you'd say what you did. When a single issue about a couple's relationship is brought here, it can seem bigger than it is. It is one small part of your working relationship. You know this, but I wanted to hear it from you. With all the wonderful, good things that you can say about your husband, maybe this one aspect of his character can be tolerated. The inclusion of swinging has brought the compliment issue to the forefront. In time, I think you will feel more comfortable hearing your husband give other women compliments. And, if he hears men giving you compliments and sees how you respond to those men, your husband may find giving you compliments becomes easier. I'm glad you joined the Swingers Board. LM
  11. I'm confused, grabbyzz, by how your statements are worded. Who is your wife not happy with? What does your second statement have to do with the concerns you mention in your opening statement? LM
  12. I agree with trying this approach. I see no point in complimenting him more. The statement I made bold would not set right with me if it were used on me. I would resist giving a compliment if I were approached that way. It sounds like nagging and men don't usually respond positively to nagging. As sexcupid said, your husband knows how to compliment because he has no problem complimenting other women, but he has decided--for whatever reason--not to compliment you. There are some men who only compliment women as a means to gain something for themselves, and in this case he is attempting to get sex from other women. Did he compliment you before you married? If he did, I would say he was using the compliments to get you to be his wife. And you married him. He got what he wanted. Did he not compliment you before you married? If he didn't, and being complimented is important to you, why did you marry him? I am also curious to know what prompted you to start swinging and who brought the subject up? This was a very good thing to say to him. If my spouse said this to me it would have a huge impact on me. I'd realize the severity of the situation and I'd take action. I'd change. If your husband didn't understand you or that message didn't get through, he needs to hear it again. I feel for you. LM
  13. They are providing a reason why. But you don't want to believe it. I think not wanting to play at their own place, due to having a roommate, is a legitimate reason. I wouldn't find that unusual, and, I would prefer not to play where a playmate's roommate could surprise us. And if living with parents, well, I can be forgiving of him not admitting that at first. Single 20-something men may not have a living space they feel comfortable playing in due to the lack of decor or accommodations. If this is your first meet, why should a single offer his home to you? We would not likely do so with a new couple or single. We prefer not to open our home to people we haven't gotten to know and like using a hotel to start. If your wife is much older, I think that could play a role in why a younger male--with a roommate--may feel uncomfortable having her over to his place to play because she is not the usual type who he has over. If caught, it could make things difficult to explain. Hotel is safer, hotels are clean, you can let single men know what quality of hotel you like and what you expect for shared costs. If you only swung with couples with kids, like yourself, what would you do then? Probably all head to a hotel with babysitters holding down the fort.
  14. I don't think it matters whether you are single, or a couple, people's opinions of nude pics are pretty generally the same. Here is a recent thread you can check out: Nudes or "action" photos? If you want people to comment about your profile, make a request for a review of your SLS profile here: Singles Profile Reviews
  15. alittleconfused ~ After reading your last post, my gut tells me your wife probably isn't having much fun with all this. She's doing what she thinks she should be doing. I have to wonder if your wife is needing something more out of sex--not just the mechanics, from you and her playmates, but doesn't know how to express that to you. Maybe she needs something with a softer touch, something different, and she may not yet know what she actually wants. LM
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