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RMRx2

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About RMRx2

  • Rank
    Swingers Board Addict

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Texas
  • Interests
    lovers of the outdoors, travel, music, motorcycling, movies, dining, and most of all getting to lay out poolside naked when the kiddos are gone
  • Occupation
    him, self employed, her accounting

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  1. not so much for overthinking it. if the parties get along well , and you have your input as you should, nature takes it's course fairly well. The one thing we experienced and hear alot, is that the woman wonders alot about doing right by both men,,,,,,,,,it only takes the first time to realize that mfm isn't about the woman taking care of two men, but the two men fullfilling her desires and fantasy come true. It took Mrs rmrx2 finding how satisying it was for her to see Mr rmrx2 enjoying himself, to understand why Mr enjoyed seeing and being a part of satisying her. Once the situation is experinced both ways, we found we both learned alot about what we each experince in each type of match up. MFM, FMF, both are satisying for us both and we have learned so much about each other in the process. Cpl match ups remian difficult, and NIETHER OF US TAKES ON FOR THE TEAM. RMRX2
  2. First, surely you have heard that you are NOT stupid for not seeing it coming. But I will say it again, you are not stupid. That is why they call it deceit. You trusted her and trust is a required component of any relationship. You will trust again, it will just most likely be someone else. Your child will ALWAYS be your child no matter the terms of a divorce. It will be up to you to determine to what degree you are his father, but he will always be your child and you will always be his father. Having survived a few relationships gone bad and the loss you are feeling, I truely feel for you. It is not an easy road. I came to hate the term "process". I wanted to "fix" it. I wanted the problem to be solved. I wanted to be happy again. I wanted this and I wanted that. And I wanted it NOW. I am after all the GREAT FACILITATOR. Sadly, it is a process. There is hurt, anger, feelings of revenge, depression, withdrawal and one cycles through those emotions over and over again. Each time they change a bit, each day there are opportunities for healing and personal growth. But it is a process, and it takes time. See why I learned to hate that word. I am way too impatient for a "process". But that is truely what it is, a process to struggle through. The good thing is, you don't have to do anything, beyond what is in front of you at any given moment. You don't have to have the next hour planned, you don't have to have tomorrow all planned out. Major decisions can be made when you are ready, and on your terms. There is the "one day at a time saying" and sometimes you may want to apply that to an hour at a time if need be. You can take all of this one step at a time. You can give yourself the time it takes to process things. Oh sure, there are things like work, and the like, there are things that demand your attention. But when you really break it down. You only need to do what is in front of you at that moment in time. Have and keep a support sytem. Take care of yourself. Be your own best friend. Be kind to yourself. Do not make major decisions if you are hungry, angry lonely, or tired. There is an acronym in there. Often just being tired or hungry makes you feel sadder. Spend time with friends or family. Sometimes doing these things are most helpful when you least want to do them. Notice that my focus is you? That is as it should be. Without taking care of yourself, you won't be any good to anyone else you care about, now or in the future. It is each persons responsibility. Your wife had responsibilities as an adult. She failed some of those. But that is her deal, not yours. Each person is responsible as an adult for themselves. Own what you must in any breakdown of the relationship, but let her live and own what she must. You can not take responsibility for another adult, thier decisions, or thier actions. Only your own. You can not win someone. You can not make them stay. The man she left you for, won nothing. An adult is a person free to make thier own choices and decisions. She made hers. A person chooses to be with you, be with another, or be alone. They make that choice. Control is an illusion. The only thing we control in life is ourselves,, our actions, and our reactions. I agree with what others have said here. There is a ton of collective experience and wisdom here on the board. A bit about myself. I endured a sum of 26 yrs of manipulative and unhealthy relationships called marriage. I looked about me and saw my friends in simular situations. I concluded that I hated women. They were after all, all the same. I know, I know, many women have concluded they hate men too. there really is not gender thing here. But I got healthier. I took some time for myself to learn and grow. I listened to those I felt were wiser. I struggled, I cried, I screamed at times. (usually at small rock venues, but hey to each his own) I got better. And,,,,,,I met a different sort of woman. The sort that I would have not seen or been open to before. Not all people are the same. But until I learned and grew, I was meeting all the same people. I am married to a most wonderful woman, a different sort of person, becuase I am different. I am truely humbled to be here today, alive, surviving, and happier than I ever thought possible. We are, in the lifestyle together, but that does not define us nor is it necessary. We currently enjoy it and the sharing of the discovery. There is light at the end of the tunnel. There is reward to the process. You will be fine, you will survive. How you survive depends on you. We wish you the very best of fortune, the very best that the process has to offer, and the very least pain the process can bring. Wish for you good things. My son, who lives in Virginia Beach, who watched his fathers struggles, is going through the exact same thing. R and B
  3. WOW! that is something to add to the stew. Hadn't thought of that. Yes, more and more I am thinking we need to find the time and place to talk a bit. we do travel in younger circles, kinda that age group between our adult kids and our age. We see and follow alot of alt rock bands, and are pretty youthful of spirit. Having common interests with our kids, only makes that possibility that much greater. And yes, it would be interesting diner discussion for sure! Thanks for that input. Jamie&Keith, and for that matter, everyones input. I have always beleived much better to get things out in the open. The dynamic with my daughter makes this one a bit harder, but I have tried to be an open book and accessible to my kiddos so I guess we'll find a way to broach this subject. Thanks again for all the wonderful advice and comments.
  4. Well keep the suggestions coming, lol. Actually when I was asked about the mrs's shoes, I wrote back to my daughter that they were puchased at a large "dancer" wear store called the Electric Boutique here in the DFW metroplex. I added that it was a large store near a lot of upscale gentlemens clubs and that " it is near The Lodge (awesome topless club), a great place, very cpl friendly,,we'd been with some cpls and had a GREAT time,,and that it would make a wonderful surprise for her to take her hubby there some day, they'd have fun" . To which I recieved no reply, not even a "thanks we'll check out the store" Last night I had the son on the phone and I told him that it has me surprised to learn about his sister, and went on to explain that I wondered now if it was someone we knew, that knows her , that recognized us early, and blocked us. Son simply listened, and did not reply. The subject changed. So much for leaving the door wide open! I guess if they want to talk to me they will, if not, we just might have a surprise meeting at a club or party
  5. Hi Kittkatt, good to here things are progressing and labido is still back. I have several severly degenerative disks , lower back myself. Went through mri's,and chiro's and the like. We recently, like 8 weeks ago, got very serious about dieting , eating right and working out. The results so far have been so great for us we can't hardly wait for the nights we go to the gym. (and I used to hate going to work out) But one of the great things has been that with the stretching, and working out,,,much of the symptoms from my back are easing. good luck and thanks for keeping us updated, the rmrx2's
  6. Ah yes, you see why this has me floored. All of the (akwards) (very's) I agree, if we talked more like my son and I it would be great. It is just thinking about those akwards, very's that have me freaking a bit. yes, my son knows of our lifestyle/ swinging and has since we headed off down this road. he has been supportive and if he has turned away from any converstion about it, I think it has been becuase he has been a bit jealous. his relationship is not doing so well currently and it appears divorce is on the horizon,,,,,,,if not imminent. Come to think of it,this also explains my daughters interest in mrs rmrx2's new FMP's and where she got them,,,,,actually I was telling my wife that I was a little worried what my daughter my think of em,,,ain't that funny now! rmrx2
  7. Well first, haven't kept up here in awhile, but we really appreciate the feedback and all the great people here on the board. Let's just say with all of the boards help and great people, the journey took us to being busier meeting people and enjoying the lifestyle with a decent degree of success. Hi Julie! well different dynamics in each of the two relationships with adult children. While I do not profess to know everything about my son, our relationship is much more down to earth and open. And as such we talk about nearly everything. My daughter on the other hand, the relationship is a bit more superficial. She has been making efforts to get closer and open up more to her brother, and to me as well. She recently told her brother, who yesterday let it slip to me. another reason I really think it best not to bring it up to her,,,,,at least first,,,her brother did not intentionally mean to let that information slip,,,,,,,or at least I think it was unintentional,oh gosh maybe I am just a naive parent. in another state, we could run around the lifestyle circle and I would think it completely okay to both act like we know nothing about the other,,but here,,,,,living 20 miles or so apart it may, however, explain why we are blocked on one and only one profile on sls,,,,,and we never communicated with those folks,,,never met them,,,,and it has been buggin the crap outta me who might have blocked us for no apparent reason the rmrx2's
  8. hmmmmmmmm, just learned that my daughter and son-in-law are flirting with, if not already pretty involved in, the lifestyle and have lifestyle friends they are meeting with, A surprise to say the least, especially given my daughter's fairly straight laced "public" history to date. Type A, hard worker, family and career driven, and a bit proper. Thing is, never thought much about bumping into friends or family in our large city because any friends I have, I wouldn't be concerned about knowing, most already do. Not a lot of family near by and pretty sure most go nowhere near the lifestyle. Son is in another state, and we're close enough to discuss such things. But daughter and son-in-law, they live CLOSE. I am just not sure how I feel about this. I mean, even thinking about your parents naked and having sex, let alone with others, is not a vision even open-minded folks like to conjure up. So discussing such things dosen't seem appropriate. Leave the information alone though, and we are very liable to have a very embarassing chance crossing. hmmmmm still thinking about this one. I mean I am happy to learn my daughter is loosening up a bit and living a little,,,probably has all along,,,more than I thought. Not so wierd talking with my son about such things,,,just totally different with my daughter. Oh well.
  9. That's GREAT to hear Kittkatt, we're soooo happy for you. Now what are you reading this for,,,,go git ya some lol, thr rmrx1's
  10. not only didn't I laugh, but think it helped me a bunch,,,,,,I mean go figure, here was the cpl we got along great with and was nice enough and all,,,,and I just couldn't get used to the guy being around the mrs. had me pretty confused, I mean I love finding her some guy better looking, more hung, cut and all to join us,,,,,,,and this guy wasn't all that,,,,just couldn't figure it out, every time we were around him I got protective as hell,,oh well,,,,,,,think it was all the efforts to hold hands and be touchy feely that I didn't observe him doing at all with his own wife.
  11. ditto hmmmmm, ya know , maybe that was the "thing" that bothered me about one cpl,,well the guy in particular. Hell I can love seeing some cut young stud banging my wife, kissing her too, but this guy (not all that) just made me want to pound him one. We let that opportunity pass, heeding my sixth sense. But now that you mention it, we went to a movie together and her hubby and my wife sat inboard. I looked over and he was holding her hand and occassionaly lightly stroking her arm. I almost pounded him right there!. Yep does seem pretty funny given what I am okay seeing :rollseyes mr rmrx2
  12. yep, if ya'll like us, we even prefer to meet those in the lifestyle that have been through blended family situations and a re-marriage,,,,,,,I mean, it is awesome when folks have been married to each other forever,,but we find those folks just can't relate to us and what it is to "trade" kids every weekend or whatever. it's like a different world we live in. with some, we have even felt they might be looking down their noses a bit at us for having not made it in "one marriage"
  13. Your very welcome and we wish you the best. I think the majority or the points made were to keep working on any issue that may be keeping you apart and/or interferring with the ability to connect and provide loving human contact for one another. yes the pressure needs to be off for sure. you should work to understand each other much better. but also both should work to bring about a closeness and the physical sharing to at some point that is what it is to be human and have contact with the one you love. there have been many suggestions for non sexual, goal oriented bonding either in day to day nicieties, together activitiies, conversation (not arguements!) and also exploration or any health issues that may exist. heads down and ignoring a problem only leads to much bigger ones down the road and we hope that is not what we hear in your post. ya'll seem like a very nice deeply commited couple. relationships like that are hard to find,,just ask around of your single friends how hard it is to find someone you can work through anything with, bet they'd trade you struggles for thier endless search anyday. it is worth the effort. oh lordy, and if either of you have ever been divorced before, you know what we mean, but endless child support, not having any input to what the "other parent" does in parenting,who it is that might be playing daddy or mommy to your kid with the other parent is frustrating , stressful, sometimes heartbreaking enough to make anyone cherish what they have and work very hard to keep it healthy,,,,, I'll sit on the end of the bed , "discussing" anything, round the clock, go to any amount of counseling, whatever it takes, to never go through that again! best wishes, the rmrx2's
  14. AH,,,,,,,,how bout Love, Commitment being what's left to make your partner special?! There is so much that defines a marriage or relationship that transends the physical to the spiritual. That we have not shared with others nor do we ever intend to. Alura has been qouted as saying that even when he and the mrs's start out to have sex or just fuck, it always ends up "making love". We think that is the fundamental difference. We have not been with anyone else since we have been together, becuase we have not made love to anyone else. The rmrx2's
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