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Billleif

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  • Content Count

    10
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18 Good

About Billleif

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 07/02/1977

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    New York
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. Hi Earthsand, I can definitely appreciate all the turmoil that you describe because a couple years ago I went through a tumultuous relationship with a girlfriend who had mental / abuse issues that made her intermittently wonderful as well as a nightmare to be with, often within the same day. And I often asked for advice from friends when the newest iteration of her crazy reared it's head in our relationship, so I completely understand that as well. I stayed in the relationship for a miserable year, trying to support her because I was trying to help her, hoping she would get better and we could eventually live the fairy tale lifestyle that I felt like we deserved. But I finally realized that all the ups and down were never going to have a happy ending, because I was just along for the ride on her never ending rollercoaster (I've often described it as that so I perked up when you described yours that way as well!). I just say all that to let you know that I do have sympathy for where you're coming from, I just don't know if there's any additional benefit to receiving new advice to each dip and drop in the relationship that this guy subjects you to, when it's all just part of being on that same rollercoaster. So it's like if my girlfriend abuses me by punching me in the arm, and I ask for advice on what to do. Then she punches me in the chest and I ask for advice on what to do. Then she punches me in the back and I ask for advice on what to do. Ultimately the advice is the same for each instance of abuse... summon up your dignity and find the strength walk away. So that's really all I was saying in regards to your situation, don't look at each of the indignities that he's put you through as individual infractions that can eventually be fixed. Look at it as a roller coaster that you either want to be on for the rest of your life, or you don't. You have the power to stop the constant ups and downs and say, hey I'm ready to get off for good. Anyway that being said, I very much appreciate your mature response and I'm glad that you didn't take any offense at my post. You are completely right, this is a safe and accepting place to share thoughts so please do be encouraged to continue posting and engaging in thoughtful discussions such as the one you began.
  2. Am I the only one who thinks the OP is just getting off on having dozens of people spend hundreds of collective hours reading about her problem and giving her the same advice to leave that she could have found on the first page?
  3. I completely agree with cplnuswing. We're a black couple and my fetish is large breasts. Obviously if I walk up to a woman and say, hey I'm only interested in you because of your breast size, I'm just being a creep and weirdo and should be treated as such. But if during the course of conversation it comes out that I like well-endowed women, I don't think the woman should feel objectified or fetishized, it just happens to be what I like, the same as some women like tall guys, guys with beards or guys with big dicks. If it's not me, cool, no prob. But if a woman was cool and just happened to have a fantasy of being with a black guy, I would never be offended, I'd just take it as her particular preference the same way I'd hope she'd take my preference for busty women. Nothing racist or offensive, just a preference.
  4. I think maybe this is a guy thing, but I have to agree with Mr. Sun on this one. There are just some times when that 5% that is missing in a relationship is actually important enough to overshadow the other good 95%. The OP has found a new and exciting facet of his life with the swinging lifestyle, and he wants to share that excitement with the woman he loves. I say better for him to go out on his own and pursue a relationship with a woman who does have the same mindset that he has, instead of staying with this woman and "compromising" by pushing his own desires down into a little box that will only begin to fester into resentment at his wife. That's not good for him or for her, so better to search for his own happiness elsewhere.
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