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Cdnsexytech

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About Cdnsexytech

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    Contributor
  • Birthday 03/17/1979

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  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Canada
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx

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  1. I have read your post and haven't read any of the replies but I am going to give you my honest response because that's what you've asked for. Take it or leave, that's up to you. Love is a choice. It is not a feeling. What you are experiencing with becca is exciting, and fun, and likely something you haven't felt in a long time. It's nerves tangled up with newness and that is called LUST. About 6 years ago, I became very close to a male neighbor of ours. I wasn't open with my husband about the fact that I felt this way, or that our neighbor kissed me one night. I actually hid it from him because I was terrified he would leave me. After weeks of this, my husband confronted me about it. We had a major blow out and almost lost our marriage. It wasn't the lust, it was the lies and deceit that upset him. While you have been 100% open and honest with Angie about your feelings, and this part of my story doesn't apply to your situation... I did share this story with you for a reason. I wasn't in love with my neighbor. I was high on LUST, and blinded by the feelings that came along with that. I confused arousal with attraction. And I believe that's what you are doing here. Love is something real, and pure and beyond anything you could EVER feel after having sex with someone twice. It is born out if history, and trust, and being at your worst and knowing they love you anyway. It's about telling someone things you've never told anyone else. It takes time, and work, and ups and downs and growth - both personal and individual - to reach true love. I will not say that it isn't possible that you and Becca are meant to be together. That's not my place. However, I will caution you about your next moves, and to put your rational brain ahead of your lusty heart. What happens when that initial lust wears off, and you realize that what you are left with is less than what you hoped for? When the rush dies down and the newness fades... Love is a choice. Not a feeling. Be careful confusing the two. I wish all four of you the best of luck.
  2. I DEFINITELY don't want to sleep with them... lol. And I don't need justification, nor is it my spouse. It's actually my best friend, and one who accepts me for me... but is constantly befuddled by our involvement in the lifestyle. She asked me yesterday - why do you swing? And while a million thoughts ran through my mind, I can't say hubby and I have ever sat down and put it into words before. So I figured I'd ask ya'll
  3. I'm hoping you all can share with me your best explanations as to why people swing. I have tried looking around but haven't had much luck. Links would be good too. THANKS!!!
  4. Swinging had nothing to do with our earlier struggles - and lets face it, every couple struggles from time to time. It has made us stronger, closer and more in love. Swinging has improved our communication 10 fold. I could never need any thing or anyone else. We swing for adult entertainment. It's a lot more fun than say joining a bowling league together lol. I just need to work on being totally open and honest about my comfort levels and go with it. Things change over time and I think I have to stop expecting myself to hurry that process Thanks again all - I love this board!!!! Xo
  5. Yummy. I love watching gay porn, makes me SO wet. My husband has sucked and been sucked. He isn't bi at all - just open minded about what feels good. Lately he's been talking a lot about wanting to get fucked in the ass by a real cock (and not just me with a strap-on LOL). I hope we can make this fantasy of his come true!! MY fantasy is for him to fuck me while he's getting fucked in the ass. Talk about orgasm!!!! Lol
  6. Digginit... I believe you nailed it. I have been thinking a lot about this. I have a tendency to turn the blame on myself 100%... But honestly I think this has more to do with what you are talking about. When I compare our experiences playing with one other couple (where we are with each other the entire time - and play with each other in between playing with the others) --- to our experiences at the parties... I prefer the one other couple scenario. I couldn't figure that out - and spent entirely too much time assuming that it was because there were less people, different dynamic. But it has far more to do with our involvement with each other. It isn't the sex that bothers me. It is the time apart. I have ALWAYS said I feel like we ignore each other from the moment we arrive until the moment we leave. Usually, like at our last party, after a couple hours I get frustrated and am ready for bed. I am desperate to reconnect with my husband and feel very removed from him. NO ONE could fill that void, you are ABSOLUTELY right. I love my husband more than anything -- If we stay in the main area or go into rooms together, I think I would enjoy myself more. I ALWAYS enjoy it more when I can see what he's doing. Also, we go into these things the same - a date... Something we do together. SHARED experiences. It isn't quite the same for him, as for him being at the party makes it a shared experience. But knowing I'm comfortable makes it more enjoyable for him. Thanks for this... We aren't attending the next monthly party as we have other plans that night - and we are attending a sex expo with our swingers group in may - and heading back to one persons house for the night for an impromptu party. I think we will have to iron out the details before we go there My only remaining fear is that -- he gets WAY off on me being with other men. He frequents a hotwife forum and is incredibly turned on by my getting fucked by other men. I need to be careful about doing whatever HE wants -- just because I love him and want to make him happy... Even if its something I don't want to do. I also continue to struggle with the idea that I'm "taking the easy way out"... And finding a way to be comfortable so I don't have to learn how to move past the uncomfortable. I also worry about our swingers group as this playing apart seems to be the norm. But we will figure out what works for US as a couple Thanks everyone.
  7. The labeling frustrates me. My husband is straight. He isn't gay, he isn't attracted to men at all, doesn't fantasize about them or jack off to them, but he also has no hang ups. He doesn't identify himself as bi. There's no need. This is a big thing that frustrates me in our society... The need for labels. People are just... people. Especially in this issue. Sex is just sex - a man fucks another man's wife with no concern of "looking for love" so what difference does it make if it's with her husband instead? I say, if it feels good go for it. Hell... When any of us get worked up enough and the situation is right, most things can be sexualized. I have watched my husband get his cock sucked, shared a cock with him, and watched him suck a cock to completion. Not only did it make me horny as hell, but all other parties involved enjoyed it too. Hurray for open minds and feel good sexual experiences!!!
  8. To alura: thank you for your response. I know very logically that the sex him and I share doesn't even begin to compare to the fucking either one of us do with other people. I am not without this information the problem for me is in trying to figure out how to keep myself from feeling uncomfortable, jealous, insecure, whatever it is that I feel -- I am not even sure what it is!! To sunbuckus: thanks for your response. To clarify for you, it all depends. If we are just with another couple, the four of us are typically tangled up. Not to say everyone is playing with each other. But we're close to each other and switch between our own partners and the other (and us women play!!) in this situation. I find myself aroused, and often tell him how to fuck her, or push him into her At parties I struggle more. We are "apart" a lot more at parties. Separate room play, socializing/flirting to build things up, etc. we have already worked through a couple of issues regarding this -- him playing with one woman for too long, and him "making out" and giggling in the hot tub with one woman. Both of these situations made me uncomfortable.... We have also discussed the fact that neither one of us wants to be "that couple" that hangs off each other all night and make ourselves totally unapproachable. But sometimes I wonder if we've gone too far the other way. Also, it's usually *after* that these feelings come up for me, when I have time to think about it, and when my "sexual armor" (as hubby and I like to call it lol) is not on. To digginit: hubby and I have talked about this extensively. He ALWAYS asks if he's doing something wrong to make me feel this way. But I really do think its in my head. Thanks all.
  9. Another thing that was important for me to distinguish was the difference between "attraction" and "arousal". For me things have changed over time, but I'd much rather have a guy who is friendly, respectful of my hubby and I, and can fuck like a champ -- than someone who's "picture perfect". Hope this helps
  10. Hi all Hubby and I have been together for 13 years. We've been blissfully married for 10. We've had our ups And downs and almost split up a few times, but I can honestly say we have NEVER been happier than we are now. We have been involved in the lifestyle for a little over 11 years, with a few breaks in amongst there for good measure, having kids, etc. we are currently members of a close knit, growing local swingers group that has regular parties once a month. We manage some smaller more intimate encounters in between if babysitters are available we play together, we swap in separate rooms, I am bisexual (very!) and he is straight. Ok NOW that you have the background info, let me explain what the issue is. We have had bad experiences, learning curves along the way like everyone does. Rules change over time. Etc. I completely trust my husband. He completely trusts me. We have amazing communication and transparency. Every time we go to a party, I have the same issue arise. The issue is, that I don't enjoy him being with other women, watching them hang off him, moan out when he is with them, desiring him. I cannot for the life of me figure out how to get past this. He is VERY much into me being with other men. Has always been turned on at the idea of other cocks being in me before him. The "hotwife" lifestyle is one that he adores. When it comes to him being with other women, my head knows that he isn't interested in them. He doesn't do anything but fuck a hole (sorry to be brash but its true lol). He also tells me that he loves getting them off, but not for THEM, but for his own selfish reasons... Because its an ego boost - it's about HIM. And when he's with me, it's all about my enjoyment... Even in regards to me - if I'm getting off with someone else, he's incredibly aroused. So what the hell is my problem? And how do I overcome this? It has become an annoyance for me... As our last party I watched him with another woman, and said to her "he's pretty fabulous, huh?" And she replied with "OH OH, he's f'ing awesome!!!!" At which point she came lol. I didn't mind that. But OUT of that aroused state, my mind races and leaves me feeling like a complete hypocrit. I DO NOT ask him not to play, we enjoy this lifestyle together. But I need to find a way to process this stuff better. Any advice would be great Xoxo Cdnsexytech Lady
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