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fresnocouple

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About fresnocouple

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    Contributor
  • Birthday 02/13/1971

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Fresno, CA
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. Long story short we are completely new. Despite that we may become so bold to attend a club in the next month or so. Having never been to a club is there any words of wisdom? We don't want to come off as "fresh meat" or wander around with "deer in the headlights" look. These fears may be enough to keep us away. Given that, any tips or words would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance.
  2. Not speaking from any experience here-- our lone "dip in the pool" was at Sea Mountain where we kept to ourselves (hope to change that next trip though)-- but it seems presumptuous to speak to anyone, regardless of the setting, and "expect" some particular conduct. It also seems to oversimplify things, and people, to ask them to behave in a certain way. Again, not speaking from experience, but it seems there are as many varieties in the "lifestyle" as colors in a box of crayons. It seems you can coordinate the colors, so to speak, by not pressing and going with the flow. In our case, our boundaries are something in the soft to very soft realm (no need to give details). With that said, we are even then not looking for immediate and random encounters. In fact, part of our quest is to find a like minded couple we can have fun with on multiple levels (we literally have no couple friends in our since "transplanted in" home town). Given that, those who push the "let's get down to business immediately" MO are probably not a good fit for us. In the end, it should all work out in the wash. Of course, those who enjoy full swap and any other variants, I say "rock on." You are doing what pleases you. It would seem if you are not pleasing yourself and working within your limits, there is no point. So in the end, if we've learned anything from what we have read, is just have fun and treat this whole experience as a journey, not a pre-defined destination. My two cents and that may be overvaluing my opinion!!!
  3. Having enjoyed reading many threads in this category, I thought I would take a moment to share our first swinging experience. By way of introduction, I do not consider ourselves experienced swingers. Frankly, I would still call us "greener than new." We have not involved any third person or couple in play; it has simply been public sex. However, these labels really don't really tell the story (short tangent; stick with me). With the above being the case, one may ask "does it count?" Maybe yes, maybe no depending upon your perspective. There are varying degrees of comfort and, for lack of a better description "different types of kink." What turns you on may turn me off and vice versa. Similarly, what may be comfortable for me may be uncomfortable to you. It is all relative. Regardless, many years ago I shed the notion that things are black and white in the sexual world. I do not believe they are. As long as people are honest with one another, and there is open, full and "legally viable" consent, who am I to judge? I therefore don't. As such, if you like [insert fetish here] and enjoy doing it with men, women or both, have fun! Once you get past the urge or notion that you must judge someone else's proclivities it really is liberating. Sadly, and while I have no empirical data to support this, I would venture to say the large majority of society cannot see beyond this. I provide the above preface to illustrate, in the end, it really does not seem entirely helpful to attempt to pigeon hole a certain activity. As a case in point, I recall reading a thread on the boards here that entailed various members engaging in a spirited (and admittedly civil) debate on what is the exact definition of "soft swing" and, for lack of better words, whether "soft swinging" (however you define it) actually "counts" or is even worth engaging in if one refuses to go "full swing" (again, insert what would be your definition). In the end while the debate is entertaining and fun to read, it really should only matter whether the participant in the activity enjoyed it. Circling back to my main point above, if the person enjoys and finds highly erotic whatever they define as "soft swing," it is, for that person, in the words of Charlie Sheen, "winning!" Having stated all of the above, our first experience simply entailed the two of us being openly sexual in public. We visited last year Sea Mountain (near Palm Springs). We went at my suggestion and I give my wife major applause for being game. We didn't really discuss any rules before going but it was implicitly understood neither had the intent or purpose to engage third persons in any type of play. Once we arrived, it took some getting used to. For those who do not know, it is a nude resort that encourages (or at least does not discourage) open sexual interaction. As I understand, however, most of the public and open sex is between partners who arrived together (apparently couples who decide to play together generally go back to one of the rooms; having never been in such a scenario, I only note this based upon what I have read). On our second night there (a Friday night) the place became more packed around dusk. Shortly thereafter, we watched a few couples engage in various acts of pleasure right out in the open for all to see. Having never experienced that, it was, in a word, breathtaking. It was both liberating and sexually exciting to see another couple engage in sex (with the implicit understanding that it is ok to watch). Later that evening, and to my pleasant surprise, my wife asked if I would like a blow job "out in the open." I could not say "yes" fast enough. In all candor, we were not exactly front and center; we went over to a side portion of the resort. Once there, my wife gave me the blow job while I lay on a lounge chair. As this was going on, I could hear and sense other people around and it did seem a few eyes popped in for a peak (all very thrilling). The blow job progressed to intercourse and us finishing in that manner. We engaged in the same activity the next two nights (with me returning the favor of oral sex for my wife) and things remained very thrilling. Not getting enough, we even enjoyed one another when we returned to our room. It was exhilarating to feel so sexually charged over such a long period of time. While again we did not involve any third persons, the experience was entirely positive, fun, exciting, and still within our "comfort level." Having now had many months to ponder what happened further, and discussing things more, it appears our comfort levels may have grown. While I would not say the comfort level has grown to the point of us each having sexual intercourse with a new person, it seems we feel comfortable enough to engage a third person or persons (preference is a couple) in some play to some degree. I will not bore anyone with the details of what our comfort level appears to be but the things we have discussed seem very exciting for us. When it is all said and done, we had a great "first experience." We stretched our comfort level and expanded our sexual horizons. I can honestly say as well our sex lives have been amazing since our trip and have spawned many fantasies to keep things lively and fun. At the end of the day, what more can one ask?
  4. I enjoyed this thread. Thanks for sharing. My wife has a gang bang fantasy. In all honesty, it turns me on as well to hear her describe it. With that said, will it ever become reality? Most likely not for a variety of reasons I will not bore you with. Anyhow, thanks again for sharing!
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