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omneesx

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About omneesx

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 11/17/1969

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    couple
  • Location
    Tampa, Fl
  • Interests
    Travel, meeeting people

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    omneesx

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  1. Our experience has been similar to EUcpl and "Protecting the Children" was never a factor in the situation because if this one fact. To those kids of similar ages at the time, bedtime was bedtime and to disregard that rule resulted in dire consequences for them. Unless the house was burning, they understood they were to stay in their room. If the child knows the rules and tends to obey them then you most likely wont have any of the embarrasing situations people have mentioned here, which has been our experience. If your children are the type to constantly interrupt your favorite movie after they've been told to go to bed then we agree that swinging in the house may not be for you. Worrying about children does not keep us from having fun any more than worrying about a new partner's breath. We are prepared and usually manage ok. Is it also shameful when parents hire a sitter to "have fun" instead of being there for their children? Is it shameful to keep pornagraphy in the house because the child might get into it? Is it shameful to be nude in front of your child? We also would like to mention again that we don't believe a child witnessing a sex act is immediately hurtful to a child. Seems to us that when a child walks in on their parents (provided those parents have not laid ground rules concerning entry into the parents' bedroom), the resulting apparent shame and extreme discomfort of the parent is what the child remembers. A calm explanation to the level of the child's understanding would be much better than, "Oh my god! Go to your room now!" Are we way off here?
  2. We're wondering what made Sheryl decide that it was race that was the culprit in her lack of satisfaction. Their post mentions that they were looking for the commonality in all the subpar men, and settled on race. Is it possible that there could be some other factor contributing to the problem, other than race? Or is it that race was the most obvious?
  3. The statement sounds to us like you have no real reason to be there in the first place. A lot of people have great enjoyment over the simple fact that this is another 'different' partner. So why not swap? Our concern is why take the time to meet with these people if you know beforehand there is no way they can compare with your partner and from what we can tell, have nothing to offer other than a new partner to 'swap' (something different). The clarification idea mentioned before should help with the expectation of 'swapping' with future couples but the root issue is still an understanding of what you're actually after. Is it a melding of four people in pure group scene or are you assuming that when these couples 'swap' with your partner, they are trying to 'replace' their own? Let us know if we're way off the mark.
  4. No one's really all that interested in swinging, conservative or otherwise. Its fall. Known in television circles as sweeps season. Whatever it takes to get ratings up...which usually includes sex. Especially "devient" sex, like swinging. A & L
  5. Our personal experience has been quite the opposite of what's been described here so far. The couple we knew that have kids first of all introduced us to them before we went out for our first dinner together. The kids were 2 and 4 at the time. They left them with a sitter. Afterwards, the kids were asleep when we returned from the restaurant, the sitter was escorted home and we had a wonderful sexy evening from our end not acutely aware that the kids were in another room. When we asked, the couple assured us that the kids tend to resist bedtime but ended up sleeping soundly and whatever noise we made behind a closed door would not bother them. These two toddlers never made surprise exits from their room after bedtime or gave us cause to wonder if they could hear. Something else we should point out is that our relationship with this family was enjoyed on other levels aside from swinging. We saw no ill effects on the children or on any of our return visits and were suprised to find that the kids enjoyed our company and would ask their parents when our next visit was. To address the fantasy aspect of swinging, this has never been one of our goals. Rather the focus has been to enjoy really nice, open-minded, sensual people without the limitation of monogamy. For us swinging is not an escape from anything. Our biggest concern is that most people feel that with or without "getting caught" by children, the activity in their presence is wrong. Is this a projection of the idea that at one time, their parents were swinging in the other room without their knowledge or that swinging will somehow damage the children, or more simply, they themselves feel swinging is bad? We do not feel that swinging or the sight of sex in itself damages children. The damage comes from a misrepresentation of sex by their caregiver. Children do not develop sexual dysfunction, it must be taught to them somehow. Through inaction, lack of information, over-reaction, wrong information or any combination of these. We'd like anyone who feels differently to explain. A & L
  6. Usually, especially in our American society, as things become more mainstream or popular, the usual approach is for people to do it half-assed (i.e. dieting, fashion or voting). Not very many people put in the time and effort to research something new, gather all of the available information and then make an informed choice on whether or not its for them. Instead, most just go do what seems to be the popular thing to do at the time. Personally, we don't mind the gawking so much in that we've come to expect it over the years. Granted, so people are able to watch and make you feel like you should be getting paid for the show while others give off a more sensual vibe as they watch. We rationalize it with the idea that, "Hey, at least they had the gumption/balls to come down and see for themselves. A & L
  7. If you check Kinsey research on sexuality they found that variety in vaginal depth and circumference before and after arousal varies just as much as it does in males and ethnicity, body type, sexuality or fisting habits don't really factor in. In regard to size and women's feelings, our experience has been that the nerves just aren't that sensitive down there and unless you're using toys of various size, penetration is just that.
  8. We responded no. In a given circumstance, part of our pleasure is granted from knowing that the other partner is being pleased. To willfully submit one partner to an act that they have explicitly stated a negative toward sounds a bit like like S/M to us. We're not into S/M right now so we don't dabble in that area. When trying something new, we always ask to make sure everyone agrees. To say we have limitations should be understood by all. Sometimes we enjoy having our limits tested. Sometimes we don't. We'll get there sooner or later.
  9. One of the main reasons that we don't play with cheaters is purely selfish. We have no desire to become involved in someone else's domestic drama. If there are going to be fights and screaming and hurt feelings, we don't want to be involved in any way. We don't need some enraged spouse banging on our door. And our whole motivation for even being in this lifestyle is to "spread the love" and celebrate something positive. For this to happen, everyone concerned needs to at least be informed and be OK with it. Otherwise, the potential for ugliness and general bad karma is too great. The negativity of deception just isn't what we're about. I guess we're just not that horny.
  10. In a perfect world, we would all feel free to be ourselves all the time with everybody without threat of reprisal. We really do believe in being true to ourselves in whatever we are doing. The problem is that we don't live in a perfect world, and reality sometimes forces us to make some adjustments in how we present ourselves. People can be very mean-spirited at times, and swingers are no exception. When we first entered this lifestyle, we naively expected to encounter others who were mostly open-minded and more enlightened than your average citizen. Unfortunately, this was not the case, and the stigma against male bisexuality (or homosexuality for that matter) is a good illustration of this. It has always bothered us that supposedly "open" people can be so put off by the mere idea of two guys together. If it's not what you're into, that's fine, and we do think that the questions should be asked and answered before an actual meeting if it's something that is really important to you. But we feel that it's totally understandable that someone may not feel comfortable mentioning that detail right up front in a profile for everyone to see. It's only natural for people to open up only after they've begun to feel comfortable with someone. We've just come to accept that there will be some very pertinent details that aren't included in people's profiles. So, in a way, it's pretty much a moot point whether someone "should" tell you about their bisexuality up front. The state of things right now virtually ensures that a lot of people aren't going to, so you're likely to run into this again more than once in the future. So it would be to your benefit to come up with a way to react to it that doesn't completely stress you out every time it comes up. We all have to basically accept the fact that this is the way it is. Good luck!
  11. We have lately been using the terms vertical for non-swinging friends and horizontal for swinging friends. Those terms have less stigma associated with them.
  12. As American that spent some wonderful years living in Europe we must respectfully disagree with Bear's comments. First: Sexually oriented businesses are sanctioned and protected by the state in Europe. You rarely hear of a brothel, couple's club, or sex shop being closed by a local community. These places are against the law in much of the US. Second: The age of consent is higher in the US than anywhere. Many European teenagers are not expected or pressured to remain celibate until marriage. Virginity is not valued as much as experience and self confidence. Third: Has anyone seen a couples club advertised in local media in the US as they do in Europe? Swinging is accessible in our country but not as easy as browsing through the ads in a newspaper. Fourth: Authorities will remove any disruptive sexual display in Europe. In the states, authorities will remove you for wearing a thong on a public beach, let alone going topless, which you can do at any beach, park, or lake in Europe. Fifth: On European evenings on late-nite free TV, you can see adult entertainment that is only available to paying customers here in the States. Not only is porn readily available but many shows considered prime-time by American standards are also shown in this block due to their violent content or adult themes (like pro-wrestling, soap operas, and "reality" TV). We could go on, but we hope we've made our point. When it comes to repression the US wins again. A & L
  13. He is 33 and she is 32...We've been together for 15 years, married for 11 and swinging for nine.
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