Rivertour

Sounds as if you are enjoying the anticipation of not knowing for sure. I say, go with an open mind. If it's just for fondue, no harm, no foul. You can always have fun later talking about how excited you both were and who and what turns you on the most. Since you are both trimmed, dressed up to party, and thinking sexual thoughts, then make sure you make use of the time together.

I am usually the one behind the camera so I rarely have pics of me. I'm biased I know, but I find my wife beautiful and love to show her off. I enjoy hearing the comments and post her on several wife posting sites. For me, it is as much of an erotic charge as swinging itself. It is rare that the wife of potential playmates ask for pics and most women of the couple we have been with are much more interested in how we treat them, talk with them, or how intellectual we may or may not be...I fully admit that my wife is sorta my free pass when it comes to swinging. It is true I don't get as many looks as my bride or certainly the compliments, but most women we have been with find qualities in me that supercede just the outer package. Within just a few short emails or conversations, my wife knows if she will or won't enjoy the company of another man. To be honest, she has found the ones whos outward appearance was lacking to have been the best sex partners...Most of the GQ types are so into themselves and arrogance turns her off more than anything else...She with very few exceptions finds looks are not the driving force and usually doesn't care if a profile has a male picture or not....I hope other women feel the same...I can show them pictures of myself, but I'd much rather show off my wifes beauty first and foremost.

The profiles seem to stop at 50. 25-50 or 35-50 even 18-50...For the life of me, I can't seem to figure out how I changed any in the last year. And my wife, if anything seems much younger. Different hair style, new glasses, whatever it is she gets compliments like "Wow you look great", "What are you doing different", things like that. For me, seriously, nothing is different except the fact that we are now old in other lifestyle couples eyes. We have always felt younger than our age and feel we look younger, but in the lifestyle community we are past our prime. We do enjoy couples within 10 years of us either way, but have had some of the best times with others both older and younger. To each his own, I guess.

Communication is the key, and this site can open discussion between the two of you. Talk, talk, talk, then once you start playing, talk even more. The best relationships are based on Trust, but for sure communication is the key to building that trust.

Our first experience was with a single male, and like both of you, it was an incredible experience. That helped us to go at this fully and have never looked back. Well other than to say that the first time helped us to meet many other people and enjoy the lifestyle even more. Had it been a bad first experience we may have never tested the waters again. Congratulations, we wish you many more great adventures.

At the meet and greet, look for any signs of drama. If something is said that could lead to drama, it probably will. Graciously walk away. If they are qualities you like in people, then by all means have fun. It is all about the fun, isn't it. The first few times, use a hotel until you are more comfortable, that way if things aren't what you expect, then the potential for issues goes away. By all means, never burn bridges, especially within the lifestyle. People can cause difficulties in your life. Don't want to be a Debbie Downer here, for the most part, we have met some truly nice people through the lifestyle. Good Luck and have fun, and always be cognizant of your partner, because he/she is the only thing that truly matters.

From the wife; He is not as good as he once was, but he's as good once as he ever was. Three or four times would be really great though, so if you can, he can sit back and watch.

Never heard of that happening, but certainly curious to find out. Odds must be pretty slim for that to happen.

Easy answer is to create a voyeur's room. Anyone entering would probably be an exhibitionist and enjoy others watching. Have nameplates on all the doors for different types of activities. Bondage rooms, gay/lesbian, etc. Include private rooms for those who are not fond of lurkers. Personally I'd love a blacklight room where couples could go in to bodypaint and play.

My wifes best experiences to date have been MFMM. She enjoys the attention, everyone is there trying to please her, not too many that she gets to tired or sore, and lol, any conversation is good topic. We only have the males come from couples or singles that we have been with prior to the gangbang. If three men are considered a gangbang.

Way to take one for the team. She was having fun, that alone should be worthwhile for you. When momma is happy, everyone is happy...lol... I don't mean to make light of the situation, but personally it makes me feel great when others find my wife attractive. You did the right thing by being a voyeur. I would have made sure I stayed very close to my bride. Close enough watch her enjoy herself and close enough should she get uncomfortable, I'd be there. Best thing I could suggest, is that rules should be discussed ahead of time and after go over them and modify as necessary. She may offer insight to your own feelings that may may it easier next time something like that happens. Kudo's to both of you. Her for leaving when you wanted and you for not making a scene allowing her to enjoy herself.

No doubt in my mind, she needs a new therapist. I have my doubts that one would actually recommend cheating and agree, maybe the therapist is looking for some action. Shame on him. If she wishes to "get even" then the sls site may not be her best place. Personally, I wouldn't get involved with her myself, not because I'm unwilling or my spouse wouldn't allow it, I just don't think I'd want the drama that could and probably would result. Don't see many positive scenarios coming from this situation.

I have friends who cheat often on their spouses. I sometimes question being friends with them because of their indiscretions. That being said, the topic of cheating vs swinging has came up on a few occasions and I always get the same answer from them. Swinging is wrong and yet those same individuals would be devastated if they were caught. Two of the (friends) have been caught and it almost ruined their marriages and all of our other friends talk behind their backs, exclaiming how terrrible it was that one or the other has cheated. Our conversations, parties and get-togethers always hint of sexual activity, but their own personal morality police step in to stop it before it gets to open. My wife and I are up front with each other and enjoy the lifestyle, unfortunately we have to keep it seperate because of long held stereotypes. Funny thing is, our marriage is stronger and has lasted longer than any of our vanilla friends. So because of the mindset of most in our community, I guess we are generally thought of as cheaters, but for us and our lifestyle friends, we are a very happy and loving couple. And we can live with that...

Of course it is a matter of "to each their own". I'm not sure if we would have went to a party inidvidually. Open swinging leads to more opportunity to strain relationships with whole new sets of issues. This issue sounds minor or course, but a couple that plays together, stays together in our book. So much less second guessing if you are both there. IMHO of course.

We had a great first experience too. The memory will stay with you and even grow fonder. What we need to do is take some notes here. We seem to have great conversation over drinks and as soon as we get to the room or house, it like no holds barred immediately when we walk into the room. I like your idea of anticipation and game play. I always enjoyed and fantasized about childhood games like spin the bottle, truth or dare, etc. but I do know there are much more adult style games out there. I must start our search. In any event, so glad to hear another great "First Time" story. Sure hope each next experience has the same success.