prometheius

Blowers remorse, I love it!

Prostate cancer is the most common cancer in American men and the second leading cause of cancer death in American men, after lung cancer. In March 1993, the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD) convened a conference, cosponsored by the National Cancer Institute (NCI) and the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases, to clarify the available evidence on the relationship between vasectomy and prostate cancer. Scientists reviewed and carefully weighed all of the data available at that time, including results from published and unpublished studies. They determined that the results of research on the association between vasectomy and prostate cancer were not consistent. In addition, the scientists could not find any convincing biological explanation for a link between vasectomy and an increased risk of prostate cancer. Based on these findings, the expert panel concluded that even if having a vasectomy can increase a man’s risk of developing prostate cancer, the increase in risk is relatively small. This is the gist of all the information I've been able to find, and the NCI hasn't changed it's stance on this in at least the last 30 years, which is about how long ago I had mine done.

If you are waiting to have your questions answered completely before progressing further into the relationship, you may never get any further than you are now. After all, She has assured you that nothing like this will ever happen again and has apologized profusely. What is the point of rehashing this over and over. Wouldn't it be better to learn what you can from it and move forward?

From personal experience, my take is that business and pleasure don't mix. Friends and money often soon part.

Art doesn't have to be understood to be enjoyed, have you really ever understood what Dahli or Picasso's paintings were all about? Not me, but yet they are some of my favorites.

One would that you had never been to a Grateful Dead concert.

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

You might be right, but you sure do come across as a real egotist. Ok buddy, I’ve read all of your posts and I think it’s time for you to cool your jets ‘cause your starting to piss me off. You have no idea what you are talking about, and I take it as a personal insult that you would stereotype "most" swingers by making a statement that maybe applies to only "some". The other posters here have tried to explain, from a swinger’s viewpoint. The fact that you are not getting the message implies that you are not a swinger, but rather, "vanilla". That in itself is not arrogance. I was also formerly in the military and had to salute guys like you. Your stating that you were commissioned strikes me as being arrogant. As to not trying to insult anyone, you did anyways, see above. BTW, I am college edjumacated too! Your Honor, this juror finds the defendant, guilty. Rock, you came here looking for advise and you got it with no holds barred. If you don't like what you hear, please don't resort to insults or raising the ire of venerables, such as Alura, you are doing yourself no favors within this community. Take a moment, calm down, respect others opinions for what they are worth, and appreciate this forum for what it is. As with all other respondents to your posts, we all continue to hope you find what you're looking for. Good luck, and I wish you well!

If your wife is sexually non-communicative, and asking her outright "what's next" would cuase her to clam up, I think it would probably be best to do nothing. Let her figure out what's next at her own pace. She'll let you know when she's ready and figures it out for herself.

I would approach you, say hi, and introduce myself. From then on it's all about how well we interact. Come to an event we attend and I'll prove it!

When the OP said "I think that i have that part taken care off.", I took it to mean that he was willing to comply with his wife’s wishes. AS to where to get started, I think you should put the brakes on everything until you return from deployment. Having an open marriage means you can both play although, this is not necessarily swinging. If only one of the two of you is allowed to play, this is definitely not swinging. Think long and hard about this, if you are not careful about how you proceed, you may be receiving a Dear John letter before you know it.

Unfortunately you misread what I meant. Rather than saying "get out now", I said, "if you are not sure about what you are thinking of doing here, then you shouldn't do it" (at least implying, not yet). I went on to say they both could benefit from sex with other people to further grow sexually if they take their time figuring out how they want to achieve that goal. Just clarifying.

Welcome to the board, hope it serves you well. Some people here may tell you that if you are not sure about what you are thinking of doing here, then you shouldn't do it, I would agree with them. The lifestyle does not suit most people. There are many of us here who have jumped in head first, apprehensions and all, and things worked out fine for many of us. But, there are many seasoned swingers here that have seen this scenario go down in flames. Most successful swingers are in their 40's and have been together for many years. You are young and have plenty of time to figure this out. Don't rush into it without researching it. You can, take your time figuring out how you want to achieve that goal.

It seems to me that you are both kind of young to be getting into the lifestyle, not that there is anything wrong with that, it does work for some folks. What I am talking about is that the two of you haven't been together all that long. Why not get to know each other better so that when you do decide to play with others you'll both know what to expect and you'll both know how the other person will react. There is no hurry to get out there and play, when you both are totally comfortable with each other and mature enough in your relationship to be sharing with others, there will be people eager to play with you. Take your time, there is no rush!

RnCinNorCal, more than a few times I have seen on this forum where people chose to read posts in a mindset that left the reader thinking they were being berated by another poster. It seems that this is what is happening here. If you will spend a great deal of time reading the multitude of threads here, you will find that padoc did not post a diatribe. Padoc was pointing out that how things go for you in the lifestyle is dependant on what you do and how you act. I've read all of your posts and want to bring up the fact that you stated that you: "want to learn more about how to improve our experience, such that if and when return to the playground we will have more rewarding encounters and, especially, more friends." Your last post was rather harsh and unbecoming of someone who seeks to make friends. If you really want to find new friends and possible play partners I would suggest a more positive approach. It is very difficult for a thin-skinned person to enjoy one’s self in the lifestyle unless they can learn to shrug it off when they hear things they would rather not. Try to remember that when you meet new people, whether it is in person or on the web, they will tend to mirror what you project. If you choose to exude negativity, that is what you’ll get in return. Conversely, if you present a positive attitude, people will be more accepting towards you. If you are unable to get passed having an attitude of “it’s me against the world”, I don’t think you are going to have much success with the lifestyle.