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tangyspecial

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About tangyspecial

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 02/24/1982

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    married couple
  • Location
    toledo, oh
  • Interests
    Art, pool, movies, cards, concerts, hockey, and football are our main interests and hobbies.
  • Swinging Experience
    2 years +/-

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    tangyspecial
  • Favorite Club(s)
    We haven't found any good ones yet in our area. Let us know some of your recommendations.
  1. We stopped swinging last spring because of the economy and job loss. Now we are working 4 jobs between us instead of 1 to try to make as much as we did and still aren't close enough to feel comfortable. Because of the huge financial hit, we haven't been able to afford meeting new people and even if we could, we are busy working too much or being exhausted. That said, we decided on premise clubs are something we are going to start looking into since it is cheaper in the long run and easier to fit in our schedule. Now I just wish there was one in our city to save on gas and give us more play time because of less driving time.
  2. I can't believe I just now found this thread after lurking for years! BEST THREAD EVER!!!
  3. I love this thread, so I am going to post 4 different firsts and the emotions we had with each of them. Our very first experience was a MFM with a vanilla friend. The Mr. was VERY turned on and not the least bit jealous. I, on the other hand, couldn't really enjoy myself because I was too busy looking to the Mr. to make sure he was ok with things every step of the way. Afterwards, we talked about it a lot and he made me realize I had no need to worry and he wanted me to just enjoy myself. Our second new experience was FF with the hubbies watching. The other female and I got naked in the hot tub out of view of the hubbies while they talked. We played around in there for a while before getting out to get on a bed and noticing the hubbies were gone. We were on the bed with her face planted between my legs when the hubbies returned. The look on my Mr.'s face was priceless. His arousal made me even hotter. A few hours of playing later (and so many O's later we lost count), the Mr. and I went back to our hotel room. We didn't really talk much that night because we were too busy having our own wild fun. I felt more relaxed in that situation because I didn't even have to ask if he enjoyed it. His expressions made it obvious. Once we did talk about it, he said that he was incredibly turned on and loved being able to finally see me expressing my bi side. (I have always been a 4 on the Kinsey scale, but he never witnessed it because we were monogamous.) Our third new experience was a full swap with the same couple. I was originally worried how I would react to seeing the Mr. with another woman, but I knew I loved the idea of it. Seeing it in person was incredibly HOT!!! I absolutely LOVED seeing him work his magic. I got so caught up watching, that it ended up being mostly me watching the 3 of them together, but I didn't mind one bit. That time it was his turn to worry if I was ok with everything, but I was. The only "jealousy" I felt was wishing I could hurry up and have him all to myself again so I could ravage him. The fourth new experience was a FFM with a vanilla friend of mine. I was a tad concerned going into it because she had told me she was only socially bi, only had one FFM experience before, and she didn't enjoy it but was willing to try again. I knew I wanted to be with her, and I knew that the Mr. did as well. I was pretty sure I would end up only playing with the Mr. during the experience and was trying to prepare myself so I wouldn't be jealous of him being able to touch her. Luckily, once we were all together, she ended up being more bi than she wanted to admit. We ended up tag teaming her (for lack of better words), and everything was incredibly HOT. No issues arose from anyone over it. Now we have experienced every situation we have wanted to experience and discovered no issues with any of them. Now we can roll with whatever situation presents itself and just have fun. Sorry for the book of an answer. heh
  4. I believe you are bi when you are attracted to and capable of developing feelings for the same sex. You can be a virgin and still know you are straight/gay/bi. I knew I was bi before I even knew what bi was.
  5. We don't do separate room, so the time thing doesn't apply to us. We don't have a cuddling rule, but we rarely cuddle others just because it isn't on our to do list. Cuddling is something you do when you feel an emotional attachment to someone. In swinging situations, we stay emotionally detached. In a couple setting, once things are done winding down, we tend to want to get rid of them asap so we can get down to being with just each other again. This may sound mean, but the sex with each other afterwards is what keeps us in this lifestyle. We have winding down talking time with them while cuddling/ fondling our own spouses, but we don't really cuddle with other partners. It isn't something we have even considered doing because we assume they want to get alone with each other asap too. In a single male situation, it's pretty much the same thing. Why spend time cuddling with someone when I can be having mind blowing sex with my hubby? (man that sounds harsh) We thank them and say good bye. Now in a single female situation, we have cuddled with them but only because they tend to spend the night in our bed. We don't mind this one bit and we adjust our positions (her in the middle or me in the middle) in the bed to whatever feels comfortable for the people present. I think that we do this naturally because we are leaning towards wanting a poly relationship with another female, so emotional attachment isn't something we avoid. Hope some of this helped.
  6. fun4Ds- I wanted to say thanks for what you wrote. You nailed what I was trying to express and helped me view things more from his point of view. I showed him what I posted and he agreed that we aren't making enough us time to be able to do the things we want. I have never blamed him for my feeling this way. I think our only problem is the lack of free us time that isn't for more than a few hours unless it is play time. Whenever we get a babysitter and we don't have plans to go to dinner or something, we use that time to clean or sneak in a nap. We have limited choices for over night babysitters, so we tend to save them for when we want to entertain friends. I'm thinking we need a night to ourselves soon and all will be better. Thanks for not making me feel stupid for (badly) voicing my inner thoughts.
  7. I get where you are coming from. I have been with my husband for over 8 years. While we have awesome sex and are enjoying this lifestyle immensely, I feel... hurt (for lack of a better word) afterwards. I don't tell him this for the most part because I know it isn't something he is purposely doing to spite me, so why bring him down instead of enjoying the afterglow? I don't get the foreplay to the extent our swing partners do and it bothers me. They get massages, kisses everywhere, and tons of oral. I know that this is normal and of course he is going to act that way with someone new and enjoy them as much as possible while they are there. I am available constantly, so the need to do all of these things to impress me isn't there. We also have three small children, so we tend to try to not take as long enjoying things when we are together because they could run in any second. I know all of this, but still feel this way. I don't say anything because I know I probably shouldn't feel this way... but I want it all too. Okay. Done hijacking the thread now. I just never had the courage to say that until now.
  8. Woah... "there would be hell to pay"?! Time to put a halt to any swinging for now. If my husband said that to me, he would be getting a swift kick in the butt and a firm talking to. There should be no more contact with her from either of you. That's the best advice my brain can come up with while my jaw is still on the floor from reading this. Hopefully some of the other wonderful people here can give you better advice.
  9. I want to hear how this turns out. Sounds fishy. N-Mrs.
  10. I say it isn't cheating as long as you both know what is going on and always stay on the same page. It's only cheating in my eyes if you are hiding things or knowingly doing something that will hurt your spouse. As far as what we do, we only play together because that is what floats our boat. Mrs. Tangy
  11. I don't get how a career can be ended from running into someone you work with. Wouldn't their career also have to come to an end for admitting they saw you there??? Good thing I work in a bar rather than an office I guess. If I saw someone I worked with, I would laugh my butt off and make a new best friend.
  12. I know where you are coming from to an extent. My best friend for the past 12 years is a man. Nothing sexual has ever happened between us, and never will. We are both cool with this. Unfortunately, his girlfriends always seem to have a problem with me after they meet me even though they know I'm married and not going anywhere. (The girlfriends don't know we are swingers.) They eventually either get over it or move on because of it. I have never been anything but nice and friendly to them, but my looks must be intimidating. If he would decide to get married, I would make sure that I made his wife my friend whether she liked it or not. Like Shelly said, invite her out for lunch. Get to know her and let her know you. Keep doing it until she *has* to like you for what you are rather than what kind of person she thinks you are.
  13. If it was a one night stand that happened, I would want to know. I would be hurt, but happy that he was able to feel comfortable enough to tell me. I would get over it easily because our marriage means more to me than that. If it was an affair that involved feelings and many sexual encounters, I would not want to know. That would be too painful for me to handle right now. He can tell me in 10 years or so. This is coming from someone who has been with her husband for 8 years and 3 children. If soul mates exist, that's what we would be. If you question the strength of your marriage, ignore my advice. N-Mrs.
  14. Men and women have different ways of communicating. Men tend to not need to know every detail, and because of that, will forget minor details. Women, on the other hand, love information and remember every detail. Example: A man and woman take a walk together around the block. If you ask the man what he did, he will say he walked around the block. If you then ask the woman what she did, she will tell you about everything she saw/heard/felt/smelled while taking that walk. Maybe you would get a more detailed explaination from the man if they witnessed a car crash while walking. Unless something important or really out of place happened, it won't register as something that needs to be talked about to men. (Exclaimer: This is all a sweeping generalization and my own opinion.) When it comes to lifestyle activities online, what works best for my husband and I is that we do all lifestyle communication through a shared account with logs of everything. That way, I can read what happened without having to ask him. (If i asked him he would say nothing important was discussed.) He will ask me if he needs to know anything, and I will tell him everything I remember. If he still feels like he needs to know more, he can easily look at the chat/email logs. That way, I don't have to pull teeth to find out person X's favorite color is red, and he doesn't have to read hours worth of idle chatting to find out we will be having couple Y over for a campfire. I suggest adopting the same system. He probably isn't trying to hide anything from you, and honestly doesn't remember anything he thinks you need to know (ex: person Z likes sushi). If he is reluctant to share accounts with you and user names and passwords to sites he uses, then I would suggest a long talk about trust and being open. I hope this helped a little and I didn't ruffle any feathers. N-Mrs.
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