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That sounds interesting. Maybe we should use male and female symbols in an Olympic ring pattern to represent our group atheletic abilities.

I dare say, that's not almost, that is an achievement and you should be proud.

My wife controls our swinging and she definately enjoys watching me and another man. Just like the first time, I never know when she gets the urge so I'm always on pins and needles. She gets involved too but as a domineering woman with two toys to play with.

There's an old saying that with a modification or two is a perfect match for your observation. "There is no greater crime than the rape of a beautiful fantasy by a gang of brutal realities."

Yeah, till the first time they get confronted by a swinger or couple and then they'd have a choice ... stop wearing it or ... Personally, I think if it's the right symbol (not an apple) it could work. The BDSM community has several that work quite well and I've never seen them on anyone that wasn't true to the lifestyle.

You must have the "silent" function. My wife's playdar is as accurate as most GPS units; I think mine needs new batteries.

I'm glad I don't have to worry about that. In my case my wife is in the director's chair. She says when, how and with whom. I like it that way. She knows what I like and she's never failed me. Personally, IMHO, I think women have better judgment in these situation and are less likely to be led around by their libido than a man.

I probably could have but was too naive to realize there was a girl that was after me (my body) my senior year. I was 17 then and sexually stupid. I didn't wait long after graduation though; one year later I lost my virginity to an older woman, 10+ years older. That was a summer I'll never forget. My wife was just the opposite. She had sex in HS with the boy that would become her first husband. We met many years later since we didn't grow up in the same state. We've had a wonderful life together. I guess since we met in our twenties, what we did in HS never figured in to our relationship. That's good because it took me a few years just to catch up to where my wife was as far as sexual experience.

"Swinging is something couples do together as part of their sexual dynamics as couple." [LOL - I messed up the quote thing] So true, so true! MFM or FMF what ever the mix everyone should be on the same page. As in the case of all our experiences it is mutual to stimulate the dynamics of our marriage. In short, we get off on it, before, during and after. Sometimes it comes after adult games, parties or even by random encounters; but whenever it happens it is because we all agree. As for the "private one-on-one in the other room bit", we have never done that in a threesome situation. It's always true simultaneous action. It's so hotter that way. I'd say you've opened the lid to Pandora's box. Now the question is how to close it and get on the right foot. Perhaps a total change of venue and participants would help. Be careful if she doesn't agree and keeps pushing to do it with your friend.

Oh boy, this is a lot deeper than I first realized. I have to side with you though FemD. In the first place there is nothing wrong with being picky. My wife is so I let her make the decisions. Of course it means we don't do it very often, but so what, when we do it's more special because you've taken the time to insure a better match. I get the impression that DBL D is in some big hurry to just "do it". I don't see the point in that. I'd agree with you when you call it a "sex addiction". It also sounds like he has some special fantasy that hasn't been fulfilled. If he hasn't told you what it is then that sends off signals to me that he's not sharing what he wants out of swinging. Seeing that swinging is a "couples" activity I'm questioning his motives for this whole deal. I agree, you need two-way communication quick, you need openness quick, you need honesty quick, or this scenario will become very hard to put up with. Lastly, I'm more than puzzled by your comment "He wants what he wants and no one wants us." I would read into that, that the reason no one wants the two of you is because no one wants him. Am I reading this wrong? I wish you well. You two have a lot of work ahead of you.

Do you have a preference as to time of day? My wife doesn't, but I seem to prefer afternoons and mornings in that order. Guess I'm not much of a night person.

Let me finish what prettylady said a different way. That ... "she has always considered you to be a big problem with her enjoying sex." Where I come from we learned that there's two sides to every story, so I refuse to take your word for it. I'm sorry but that's the way I am. I'd prefer hearing her side first. Like others have already told you, what you are trying to do is not swinging and I don't consider you joining this lifestyle. You are joining a different list but not this one. This is one you enter with your partner not without them. Go talk to your wife and seek help, together. She can't do it without you and you shouldn't insist that she seek it alone.

Very true. We are very selective too and it's my wife's choice. Makes it interesting for me. We will be going along in our traditional life when all of a sudden she will surprise me. I luv surprises.

My wife and I have always been into sexy stories and "letters". We would take turns reading to each other. We would always comment on the ones that had a fantasy that we wanted to have come true. Knowing each others fantasies then we would be on the lookout for opportunities to make them come true. Our first time was with another young woman we had met at a dinner party. She ended up coming home with us. My wife tends to be the lead and is always the one who picks our partners by they male, female or couples.