Sexual Appetite Variance By Gender

[wrnakedru]

The following is from an email I received today from my best friend from high school. His name is Geoffrey and I'll never understand why he put up with me. He was extremely shy and blushed at the mere mention of anything sexual. He tried to convince me that such good friends ought to be dating. I did consider it, briefly, but I knew we were just not well suited for one another. Even in my 'tender years' I recognized I would probably just consume him like a cold turkey sandwich.

About three years ago, he managed to make contact with me through Classmates.com. He still lives in the town we granduated from high school in [Winston-Salem, N.C.] and teaches history and geography in middle school. He is on his second marriage and like all humans, there are days not as filled will sunshine as others.

His email tells of cloudy days.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++

To my dear friend,

First off let me say once again that you were the girl I wanted to lose my virginity to and I'll always wonder if I'd told you that, you might have been more receptive to the idea of us dating. And secondly, you are the woman I dream of having at least once sometime before one of us dies. Your choice of lifestyle speaks well of your open-mindedness. Obviously, the sooner you agree to the plan, the higher the quality of the activity for both of us. I have faith that your recognizing the patent logic of my statement will convince you. The sooner, the better.

I have never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of
turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife Carol and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited.

She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, lets go to the cashier".

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile...You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly over a frozen hell and monkeys fly out of her butt.

Your [hopefully soon] loving friend,
Terry

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I can't believe his wife has let him live even this long! I knew my instincts were right about him in high school. I'd have killed him YEARS ago!


WR

[frenzb4sex]

OMG!!!!!! He does realize how much of an ASS he just made of himself to you, doesn't he? I don't care how great of a friend he was, this type of story wouldn't charm ANYONE, and he still thinks he has a chance to get "in"? Dang....DANG!!!!!!!

Although it's a good STORY, the premise behind it is totally alarming. Again, another thing that sets the swing lifestylers apart-it would have been very easy for many swinging males to go "Honey, we need to talk about this..." explain their side, listen to hers, and work on a common goal. But no---he goes for the jugular. I am just in awe at the gall....But not surprised again. To go to such lengths is just an indirect way of asking for a divorce without having the balls to do it, in my opinion.

Tim

[Spoomonkey]

Wow - I am shocked that someone would be that cruel... Dito to the above - why not just TALK about it??? Hello!

No - he doesn't get the lifestyle at all because it isn't about sex (not totally). It is about couples who love each other first and foremost... And his response to a bad night of sex is the cruelest "prank" I've ever read about...

All I can say is, enjoy the couch buddy... Send your wife to the lifestyle, though. I'll cuddle with her... I mean, geez...

Spoomonkey

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Dito the OMG!!!! I'm in shock. I can't believe what an ass he is. I hope he is on his way out of his second marriage, because he has no idea what marriage is all about, let alone the Lifestyle. :slam"

I am glad you didn't find out what he was like after you got involved with him either back in school or now through a possible reconnection. Thank God for instincts, huh?!!!

What a contrast between him and our spouses/signifcant others here on the board. Not that we need a reminder of how wonderful our men are but . . thanks guys

Hmmmm, maybe we should all show them

I think I'll get Mr Spoomonkey to log off . . .

Mrs Spoomonkey

[LikeMinds321]

I thought this quite funny, so much so that it didn't feel real.

So I brought Mr LM to the monitor, he read it, and swears he's come across this story on a joke site on the net.

I think that is very possibly the case, because I'd guess this guy doesn't really know much about what good lovin' is--nor what swinging is all about, but he is trying to impress WR with this story because maybe, just maybe, she--as the swinger she is--will finally be up for playing around with him, a poor ole friend who ain't gettin' any from his wife.

LM

[Alura]

I think this guy's pulling your leg, Wrnakedru.

I've received this joke several times from different friends over the internet. I thought it was reasonably funny, but never forwarded it on. It's almost word-for-word.

Now, the idea of having sex with a high-school classmate is a good one. Mrs. Alura and I both have agreed that we can do that if the opportunity comes up. Actually, It's already happened with me and my HS sweetheart. Mrs. Alura is still working on hers.

Mr. Alura

[LikeMinds321]

Mr Alura

Or could it be, that WR is having fun with us all?

This little smiley after her name may be the clue.

LM

[OhioCouple]

I think you are right ya'll. She is pulling our leg. I know I've been sent the same things several times over the last couple of years. I do believe that is her clue, LikeMinds.

[NightGoddess]

Yep, it's a joke....I laughed like hell!
I guess I'm the only sicko here!

[Brit_Pair]

Well, I'm disappointed to learn that it's only a joke . . . kudos to any man with the cohones to play that card.

[HornyCouple]

This joke has been circulating for years. However, there is something for men and women to learn from this I believe.

[Alura]

Well, Wrnakedru, 'splain yourself!

Mr. Alura

[Pinmonkey]

The first thing I thought of is the joke email that I keep getting with that story. I admit I laughed.

[frenzb4sex]

*sigh*

I guess that Spoo and myself are just too darn sensitive...too darn caring...or maybe just plain gullible.

DOH!

To WR: I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!!!!!! Muhahahahahahahaha!

Tim

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally Posted by frenzb4sex

To WR: I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!!!!!! Muhahahahahahahaha!

Tim

Yeah...she pulled that one on me, too. I fell for it lock, stock and barrel and continued to rant and rave about that uncaring so-and-so until I just read these responses. I'm after her, too!!

Now Tim...as for that dog. No way! That critter is VICIOUS!! The little beast only comes up to my ankles, but terrorizes me nontheless.

- EBF

PS: As soon as I locate WR, I'll let ya'll know where she is.