Experienced Swingers: Would you swing with newbies?

L&K · 08-12-2002, 04:00 PM

Here is the question , how many experienced swingers will consider meeting with a couple
that is new to swinging ?

I want to see if the responses here corrolate with our experince so far

Marv & Sue

**Alura** · 08-12-2002, 04:14 PM

We've only played with inexperienced swingers. It was not planned that way, only happened by chance. Some were good times; some were not. We have no objections to folks who have never played before. Our interests run more to those who have a solid, committed marriage and know what they want.

In fact, we've enjoyed "easing" new couples into playing. We're working on a couple now. They don't know it yet, but the friendship is progressing nicely. Maybe by the time cooler weather rolls around and the spa is more fun, we'll be able to broach the subject.

The poll, btw, was a bit strange...

Alura

ciscosv · 08-12-2002, 05:09 PM

"In fact, we've enjoyed "easing" new couples into playing."

That is very nice of you two to take your time and being patient with a new couple, Alura! I mean it. Maybe you should change your name to "walurya".

Brian and Jo · 08-12-2002, 06:51 PM

We would have answered the poll if we could have understood the question! Having said that we are experienced swingers who do most of our playing with a group of eight couples we have known for many years. That does not prevent us when we go to parties at a swing club or when we are on vacation from swinging with newbies. Over the years we have met several couples who were new to the lifestyle and where there was a mutual attraction between us. In such cases we have been quite content to let things develop at their pace, starting with flirting and sexy dancing, then soft swinging and in most cases ending up with a full swap of partners. Easing another couple into the lifestyle can be a very rewarding experience for all concerned.

L&K · 08-12-2002, 07:25 PM

Ill try an have Julie remove the poll quickly , that was called , dip shit ( me ) goofed up it was
meant to be a question the first time . Thanks for the replies , it gives us encouragement

Marv

**Alura** · 08-12-2002, 11:40 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by ciscosv:
 Maybe you should change your name to "walurya".<hr /></blockquote>Well, Cisco, ol' friend, that sounds like a really good name. Does it have a meaning or is it like the poll?

Alura

ciscosv · 08-13-2002, 10:05 AM

Alura,

I guess that only sounded right in my head. I will clarify as I should have the first time.

You two wrote: "We're working on a couple now."

Your name almost resembles "we'll-lure-ya"......Many thanks for you guys being patient and easing the newbies such as ourselves!

**Alura** · 08-13-2002, 12:24 PM

It's our pleasure, Cisco! Believe us.

Alura

***JustAskJulie*** · 08-13-2002, 12:47 PM

Sorry about that folks. Since there were already a couple of responses, I'm just going to close this topic and link you to the new topic that Marv & Sue started with the same question.

<a href="http://www.swingersboard.com/cgi-bin//ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=3;t=000338" target="_blank">New Vs. Experienced</a>

***JustAskJulie*** · 08-13-2002, 12:49 PM

We have met with new couples before but it never seems to go anywhere. Always seems to be that the couple isn't ready or that while the hubby wants to play he is pretty much just dragging his wife along.

We would play with a new couple if we knew for sure that they were ready to go. Even experienced couples can have issues they are still working on.

frisson · 08-13-2002, 03:23 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Marv&sue:
Ok cut me some slack here , i meant to ask a question and posted a pole
guess that is a newbie for you .

How many of the experienced swingers here would meet with a new unexperienced couple .
so far only other newbies have intertained the idea of meeting with us .

lets assume that you like our photos on our ad and this was a first contact letter .<hr /></blockquote>If this was through a contact ad then we wouldn't bother.

If we had met at a club and the vibes were right--i.e. we believed both of you were sincere and whole-hearted about playing--then your lack of experience wouldn't matter.

L&K · 08-13-2002, 05:10 PM

Well im certainly getting an education , Julie i know what you are saying , when you have been married 24 years most of your personal issues are clarified but things can still come up . We are going to our first club party on the 17th , we sure hope it is less of waist of time then the internet ads have been . I do see where it could be more productive then looking at ads of would be swingers on the net . This party should be swingers rather then internet fun seekers having a cyber fantasy .

Marv

Quin · 08-13-2002, 05:20 PM

Gotta go with both Julie and Frisson on this one. If it's a couple who I run into at a club or more specifically a party, if they appeared ready (both wife and husband), yeah I'd help to ease them in to the sexual activity and make sure that before the sexual activity I included them in the chit chat and socialization. But as Julie said, in many circumstances it's the man who's ready and the wife is being dragged into something she doesn't particular want to get into.

Like frisson, I don't do ads either. It's way to time consuming having to wade thru the bullshiters and those that are truthful. Kinda like the old saying, You gotta kiss a lotta frogs to find the one that's a prince, that can definitely be applied to ads. I have no problems meeting people so that's another reason I don't do the ad thingie. <img border="0" alt="[kiss]" title="" src="graemlins/kiss1.gif" />

If you're lucky and become friends with a swinging couple you can enlarge your circle of swinging friends thru that couple. What started out many years ago being four couples, a single male and me, a single female who befriended each other for sex and socialization, has grown into a circle of 30-40 couples with a few more singles.

Quin
<img border="0" alt="[Smiley_sex]" title="" src="graemlins/smilysex.gif" />

L&K · 08-13-2002, 07:58 PM

Congrats to Quin , it appears to me you have your head on about as straight as any one i have met . you know who you are and what you want and appear to be a very straight forward and honest person , hey i think i like you .

I agree men start this swing idea and drag the wife along , but in our case i started and am running like hell to keep up with Sue . after her first experinece she is gunho . I have not changed my mind at all but am very surprised and pleased how her interest grew . We as a couple are growing fast and learing quick , im also glad to say there has not been one disagreement on any issue so far . that perhaps is the result of 24 years together .

Marv - marvsue

Amy and Mike · 11-13-2003, 05:46 PM

This is Amy, and I have a question for the couples here who have been involved with swinging for a while and are very comfortable with it, especially for the women.

How willing would you be to get together with couples who are brand new to swinging? Especially if those couples might be somewhat limited in the types of activity they want to try?

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08-12-2002, 04:00 PM	#1 (permalink)
L&K Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 197 Location: michigan Status: couple	Experienced Swingers: Would you swing with newbies? Here is the question , how many experienced swingers will consider meeting with a couple that is new to swinging ? I want to see if the responses here corrolate with our experince so far Marv & Sue

08-12-2002, 04:14 PM	#2 (permalink)
Alura Just a hick Okie Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 8,144 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Status: Widower	We've only played with inexperienced swingers. It was not planned that way, only happened by chance. Some were good times; some were not. We have no objections to folks who have never played before. Our interests run more to those who have a solid, committed marriage and know what they want. In fact, we've enjoyed "easing" new couples into playing. We're working on a couple now. They don't know it yet, but the friendship is progressing nicely. Maybe by the time cooler weather rolls around and the spa is more fun, we'll be able to broach the subject. The poll, btw, was a bit strange... Alura
	__________________ "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it." —Will Rogers

08-12-2002, 05:09 PM	#3 (permalink)
ciscosv Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 755 Location: Redford, Michigan Status: Married Couple	"In fact, we've enjoyed "easing" new couples into playing." That is very nice of you two to take your time and being patient with a new couple, Alura! I mean it. Maybe you should change your name to "walurya".
	__________________ M&M Melts in your mouth, not in your hand

08-12-2002, 11:40 PM	#6 (permalink)
Alura Just a hick Okie Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 8,144 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Status: Widower	</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by ciscosv: <strong> Maybe you should change your name to "walurya".</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well, Cisco, ol' friend, that sounds like a really good name. Does it have a meaning or is it like the poll? Alura
	__________________ "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it." —Will Rogers

08-12-2002, 06:51 PM	#4 (permalink)
Brian and Jo Brian and Jo Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 322 Location: Ontario Status: Couple	We would have answered the poll if we could have understood the question! Having said that we are experienced swingers who do most of our playing with a group of eight couples we have known for many years. That does not prevent us when we go to parties at a swing club or when we are on vacation from swinging with newbies. Over the years we have met several couples who were new to the lifestyle and where there was a mutual attraction between us. In such cases we have been quite content to let things develop at their pace, starting with flirting and sexy dancing, then soft swinging and in most cases ending up with a full swap of partners. Easing another couple into the lifestyle can be a very rewarding experience for all concerned.

08-12-2002, 07:25 PM	#5 (permalink)
L&K Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 197 Location: michigan Status: couple	Ill try an have Julie remove the poll quickly , that was called , dip shit ( me ) goofed up it was meant to be a question the first time . Thanks for the replies , it gives us encouragement Marv

08-13-2002, 10:05 AM	#7 (permalink)
ciscosv Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 755 Location: Redford, Michigan Status: Married Couple	Alura, I guess that only sounded right in my head. I will clarify as I should have the first time. You two wrote: "We're working on a couple now." Your name almost resembles "we'll-lure-ya"......Many thanks for you guys being patient and easing the newbies such as ourselves!
	__________________ M&M Melts in your mouth, not in your hand

08-13-2002, 12:24 PM	#8 (permalink)
Alura Just a hick Okie Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 8,144 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Status: Widower	It's our pleasure, Cisco! Believe us. Alura
	__________________ "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it." —Will Rogers

08-13-2002, 12:47 PM	#9 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,294 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	Sorry about that folks. Since there were already a couple of responses, I'm just going to close this topic and link you to the new topic that Marv & Sue started with the same question. <a href="http://www.swingersboard.com/cgi-bin//ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=3;t=000338" target="_blank">New Vs. Experienced</a>
	__________________ Julie - your hostess The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

08-13-2002, 12:49 PM	#10 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,294 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	We have met with new couples before but it never seems to go anywhere. Always seems to be that the couple isn't ready or that while the hubby wants to play he is pretty much just dragging his wife along. We would play with a new couple if we knew for sure that they were ready to go. Even experienced couples can have issues they are still working on.
	__________________ Julie - your hostess The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

08-13-2002, 03:23 PM	#11 (permalink)
frisson Here to Stay Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 80 Location: East Central Kansas	</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Marv&sue: <strong>Ok cut me some slack here , i meant to ask a question and posted a pole guess that is a newbie for you . How many of the experienced swingers here would meet with a new unexperienced couple . so far only other newbies have intertained the idea of meeting with us . lets assume that you like our photos on our ad and this was a first contact letter .</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">If this was through a contact ad then we wouldn't bother. If we had met at a club and the vibes were right--i.e. we believed both of you were sincere and whole-hearted about playing--then your lack of experience wouldn't matter.

08-13-2002, 05:10 PM	#12 (permalink)
L&K Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 197 Location: michigan Status: couple	Well im certainly getting an education , Julie i know what you are saying , when you have been married 24 years most of your personal issues are clarified but things can still come up . We are going to our first club party on the 17th , we sure hope it is less of waist of time then the internet ads have been . I do see where it could be more productive then looking at ads of would be swingers on the net . This party should be swingers rather then internet fun seekers having a cyber fantasy . Marv

08-13-2002, 05:20 PM	#13 (permalink)
Quin Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 1,136 Location: Ohio Status: Single Female	Gotta go with both Julie and Frisson on this one. If it's a couple who I run into at a club or more specifically a party, if they appeared ready (both wife and husband), yeah I'd help to ease them in to the sexual activity and make sure that before the sexual activity I included them in the chit chat and socialization. But as Julie said, in many circumstances it's the man who's ready and the wife is being dragged into something she doesn't particular want to get into. Like frisson, I don't do ads either. It's way to time consuming having to wade thru the bullshiters and those that are truthful. Kinda like the old saying, You gotta kiss a lotta frogs to find the one that's a prince, that can definitely be applied to ads. I have no problems meeting people so that's another reason I don't do the ad thingie. <img border="0" alt="[kiss]" title="" src="graemlins/kiss1.gif" /> If you're lucky and become friends with a swinging couple you can enlarge your circle of swinging friends thru that couple. What started out many years ago being four couples, a single male and me, a single female who befriended each other for sex and socialization, has grown into a circle of 30-40 couples with a few more singles. Quin <img border="0" alt="[Smiley_sex]" title="" src="graemlins/smilysex.gif" />
	__________________ One thing about me is that I'm consistant in my behavior, my thoughts, and my posting. I don't sell out or change for any reason outside of my own self wanting to. What you see is what you get: today, tomorrow and every day after that.

08-13-2002, 07:58 PM	#14 (permalink)
L&K Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 197 Location: michigan Status: couple	Congrats to Quin , it appears to me you have your head on about as straight as any one i have met . you know who you are and what you want and appear to be a very straight forward and honest person , hey i think i like you . I agree men start this swing idea and drag the wife along , but in our case i started and am running like hell to keep up with Sue . after her first experinece she is gunho . I have not changed my mind at all but am very surprised and pleased how her interest grew . We as a couple are growing fast and learing quick , im also glad to say there has not been one disagreement on any issue so far . that perhaps is the result of 24 years together . Marv - marvsue

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11-13-2003, 05:46 PM	#15 (permalink)
Amy and Mike Here to Stay Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 52 Location: California Status: Married	question for experienced swingers This is Amy, and I have a question for the couples here who have been involved with swinging for a while and are very comfortable with it, especially for the women. How willing would you be to get together with couples who are brand new to swinging? Especially if those couples might be somewhat limited in the types of activity they want to try?

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