Friend with Benefit seems no longer interested in me

[Syren 15]

Hello everyone,

 

I have been having a great FWB relationship with a man I met on SLS, He is new to the lifetstyle and I was his first lifestyle partner.

We have been hanging out for the past 10 months, and I thought things were going well and now he seems like he is no longer interested in being with me.

 

I say this because my partner usually contacts me by email, when he wants to hook and now and its been 2 weeks and I have not received any requests from him to hook up. The only thing I did recieve from him was a reply to an email I sent him on August 5th when I responded back to his reply, he did not reply back to me.

 

Should I take this as a sign that his is no longer interested, cut my losses and begin searching look for a new swing partner.

 

Please advise.

 

Thanks,

Sy

[Learning 160]

Keep on trucking because the signs are not looking good. Maybe he found a more traditional relationship? Maybe not but silence speaks volume. Leave him alone and if it's meant to be, he will bounce back into your life. Good luck searching for another partner

[angelkin 1,326]

Seems like something has changed and if you can't reach him to ask what is going on, then you're left to speculate. Sorry, but it does sound like perhaps he wants to "branch out". Has it been strictly FWB or are there feelings involved here?

[Syren 15]

Thanks for your replies. Yes I did develop feelings for him but, I never shared them with him, because it was a FWB relationship.

[angelkin 1,326]

Thanks for your replies. Yes I did develop feelings for him but, I never shared them with him, because it was a FWB relationship.

 

Those things are hard to hide and maybe we wasn't looking for more...we can only speculate. I agree with LFM, time to move on and stop contacting him. If he changes his mind, he knows where to find you...but will you still be interested by then is the question.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

Should I take this as a sign that his is no longer interested, cut my losses and begin searching look for a new swing partner.

 

The only way we can ever know the meaning behind people's actions is to ask. Sometimes even that doesn't do it, but it is a necessary first step if you really want to know what is actually happening with him.

[Syren 15]

Will I be interested then, indeed, well said Angelkin Thanks again for the great advice. I guess i will have to devote some time this long weekend to my search.

[ViSexual 1,006]

Syren,

 

Have you considered that he had developed 'feelings' for you too and he felt he needed to back away for your sake? Hey, why not ask? What have you got to lose?

[Syren 15]

Hey MauiJan and Vi,

I agree I do need to ask him what changed, but I have decided to wait until he reaches out to me (whenever that is).

I feel that if I reach out to ask him now, it will seem like I am trying to hold onto to him.

I am ok with him moving on to greener pastures but I am saddened by the fact that he didn't feel comfortable enough with me to tell me he was no longer interested or that he wanted something new. I would have respected him more if he done that verses him giving me the silent treatment.

[angelkin 1,326]

Don't assume, just tell him exactly how you feel. Nothing ventured nothing gained. He could be having other troubles...a friend would be more concerned and less hurt. You asked for our thoughts, but we are only guessing. I think you should write him one last note and ask what's going on...if you feel comfortable doing so, of course.

[Syren 15]

You are correct Angelkin [a friend would be more concerned and less hurt], I will email him. I will let you know what happens.

Thanks,Sy

[M1F2KTJ 470]

 

Should I take this as a sign that his is no longer interested, cut my losses and begin searching look for a new swing partner.

 

Please advise.

 

 

Yes. I'm guessing that you will miss him because you liked him a lot but that's the kind of thing that you should expect from a FWB. You should be happy now that you are free for another FWB that might be more awesome than what you've had so far!

[Additude 457]

You are guessing and assuming. Ask him. Send him an email that says "Are you OK?, I haven't heard from you. I miss seeing you". Remember only 10% of things are as they seem, the other 90% is a mere guess without the facts.

[Syren 15]

Thanks for your advice M1F2KTJ and Attitude,

I have contacted him and he stated that he was going through some personal stuff.

We are back to being FWBs, for right now but I have a feeling it will maybe temporary so I have decided to start looking for a new FWB

[Hippiegirlie 276]

Sy,

Was he a friend first, or someone that became a friend when he became a playmate? Too often people get hung up on the head rush of being with a new person... even FWB have infatuation periods. I think what you had was a playmate relationship and not a friendship that included sex. There is quite a diffrerence. No matter the end result, you have to keep your perspective. If you intended to have a FWB and didn't develop a friendship outside of sex, then take it for what it was.. good memories of wonderful sex with someone you were comfortable sharing that with. If you were looking for more than that, try looking to create a friendship first before intruducing sex. Good luck to you in your future.

HG

[Syren 15]

Hi Hippiegirlie,

 

I agree with you that there are 2 types of relationships: playmate relationships and friendship relationships.

 

When we met we agreed that friendship was a must even though we just wanted to be fuck buddies.

So I would say we are friends that fuck, but when the sex stops I think that we will still be friends.

Thanks for you comments,

Sy

[JustAskJulie 2,588]

I agree that the more you reach out to him without any response the more clingy you will seem to him. Move on and find a new playmate. I'd suggest that if you really want to keep things to a strictly FWB status, that when you find yourself developing feelings that you move on then rather than wait it out. Or, at the very least (if you are open to something more developing) just be honest about the feelings and let the chips fall where they may. At least then you know what happened.

[Syren 15]

Hi Julie,

Thanks for your advice, I will definately take it to heart. Syren