Sudden increase in sex drive since swinging was brought up

[AreU4Us2Nite]

Hello everyone.
My husband and I are new to this group. In fact he doesn't even know about it yet. LOL
I have a question that I hope someone can answer for me. I think it would be quite awkward to call my Doctor for some information.

My husband and I have been together for 18 years.
Up until November of 06, our sex life had been bellow average. There could be a hundred excuses why, but at this point I blame it on a very low drive on my part.
In November I asked my husband about 3sums and swinging. Things have exploded from there. I had been thinking about it for some time and finally got up enough courage to talk to him about it.
I don't think this is a problem, but my sudden Nympho symptoms are on my mind practicly from the time I open my eyes in the morning to the time I shut them at night!

We have not been able to connect with a couple yet. I didn't realize how difficult that would be. But we are working on it all the time. So to satisfy my hunger for sex we have a male friend that we play with.

Are these sudden urges and desires and constant state of horneyness (is that even a word) because of the thoughts of a new and exciting sex life, or is it perhaps due to hormones. Maybe I've hit my "peek".
Is that "peek" thing even real?

Any comments would be greatly appreciated.
~Dawn

[TNT]

Originally Posted by AreU4Us2Nite

Are these sudden urges and desires and constant state of horneyness (is that even a word) because of the thoughts of a new and exciting sex life, or is it perhaps due to hormones. Maybe I've hit my "peek".
Is that "peek" thing even real?

Welcome to the wonderful world of swinging .

I would say that yes, thinking about sex a lot causes excessive horniness...it does for us anyway.

I know that I did seem to hit a peak at about 30. Not sure if it was hormones or just the fact that the kids had gotten older and there was more time to concentrate on just us but, my sexual desire did and still is much higher than it was before that age...of course shortly after that we did start swinging on a regular basis so that might have had something to do with it as well.

Either way I don't see anything to complain about...just enjoy it.


Teresa

[gatorvol64]

Yes, the "peek" this is real. My husband swears it is. Hit around 30 (like TNT). But actively searching for someone to swing with means sex it always on your mind. Why worry about your increased drive? Have fun!!

Vol

[avid]

I hit my peak when I was 37 and a half. I can almost pinpoint the day. Wow.

I'm almost 40, and still having fun. It's a weird feeling though. I can imagine this is what an 18 year old boy feels like!

[swingcouple69]

OMG! I can't believe that I'm not alone! It was like the day I hit 30 sex was on the brain and hasn't stopped! I even brought the swinging to a surprised Hubby. We had always talked about ffm but I was, for lack of a better term, a prude. Even when it came to just sex. It's kinda scary though. It was like before I could go without sex. Don't get me wrong Hubby is awesome in everyway but it just didn't matter to me if I got it or not. But oh man, now, if I go without it for one night I feel like a caged lion! I think it scares Hubby to cause it was such and about face. He says that if I'm trying to prove I'm still young he hopes I'll do it forever! Well trust me, I'm never going back to the old way! LOL!

Glad to not be alone,

Female half of Swingcouple 69

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

I don't know that I can say I reached a "peak" in my life where things changed. I became sexually alive, aware and basically thought and think about it 24/7 since I met Spoo. I had been in a 20 year sexually dead marriage so would I have "peaked" at a younger age maybe...maybe not.

When I met Spoo our relationship and connection gave me the freedom to be who I was and that included exploring my sexuality. I remember being in my counselor's office and holding up a book on his recommended reading shelf, after I had started dating Spoo, (which btw I didn't need to see my counselor any more after that ) called "the gift of sex" and said "Oh, yes it is" I think I made him blush a little

So do women reach a point in their life where they become more sexually aware of themselves and the many pleasures of sex I think they do or can but also think that you won't without a trigger. For me it was years of a bad marriage and religeous upbringing that doesn't want even married couples to enjoy sex. I think it's reaching a point in your life where you are mature (mentally and emotionally not necessarily age) and become confident in who you are as a woman. Maybe it is the kids being grown and you can start thinking about how fun it was before marriage and kids and the rat race of life to think about sex all day instead of packing lunches and braiding hair.

Whatever it is and whenever it comes I say sit back and enjoy the ride. For me I know I have and plan to until I take my last breathe I don't believe you ever get too old. If more people believed that getting older is really a good thing and can be the best time of your life in many ways then they wouldn't dread the big 3-0, 4-0, 5-0; they'd look forward to it and celebrate it in the "extreme sport" way.

Mrs Spoomonkey

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by AreU4Us2Nite

Maybe I've hit my "peek". Is that "peek" thing even real?

Any comments would be greatly appreciated.
~Dawn

Dr. Pepper Schwartz: "Today, most researchers believe that a woman's "peak" could occur at any time, depending on her life experiences. Some women will relish the hot and heavy sex of their 20s, while others will find that their libidos are most active during their 40s!" full article: http://www.lifetimetv.com/reallife/r...t/sh_peak.html

Dr. Sandor Gardos: "Because of societal messages, women often take longer to feel comfortable with sexuality or learn about their bodies. Many women don't learn how to have an orgasm until later in life."

Dr. Sandor Gardos: "Of course, there is a tremendous range in the age at which people feel that they are at their sexual peak. I think that reducing it to the ability to have orgasms easily is a poor definition. I have yet to meet a man or woman in their teens who can compare to an older man or woman in terms of sexual skills or sophistication!" http://www.mypleasure.com/education/...estions/49.asp

Me: I reached a definite peak in sexuality (sort of a big thrust forward rather than a peak, per se), at the age of 38. I think that a very big part of it for many women is getting past having small children. There is also the maturity that comes - like Dr. Gardos said, skills and sexual sophistication. In our 30's, we often feel freedom from being so concerned with what our parents wanted us to be (and society in general) - "good girls" - and we gain a feeling that this is a time for ourselves.

I had my first vaginal-only (no clitoral stimulation) orgasm at the age of 40.
By 44, they became my best, most powerful orgasms. I've become more and more multi-orgasmic with time. I come more easily and more quickly. It seems that with age, I've become increasingly sexual, sensual and in tune with my body. The sex just keeps getting better and better, and I'm more "hungry" for it than when I was young.

"Peak" means that you've reached the summit, and it's going to be downhill after that. I don't think I've reached that point yet.

[DBL D]

I don't think what you are going through is a "peek" either. I think you have just awakened sexually and are full of wonder about the future. Well, swinging is a real thing and once you do it I hope you still have the same feelings you have now. I have a feeling you will...just keep an open mind and go for it.

Male D

[Irishsakura]

Take it from a single female new and recently experienced in this lifestyle....GO FOR IT! When you know that you are ready, don't hesitate. Go out there and post a personal ad or something and start meeting people. It was the best move I have ever made and I am loving and enjoying every second with the couple I am dating. Little did I know I could go down on a woman and be a natural!

[flkeyscouple]

I'm 50 and I'm hoping I haven't hit my peak yet!! I honestly can say that my sexual desire has been higher in the last two years than at any time in my life.... not that I didn't have some short periods of 'extreme sexuality' over the last 35 years, but it's been almost constant since we got reactive in the lifestyle - 2 years ago. I've become (or finally figured it out) multi-orgasmic over the last 18 months, and sex is on my mind 24/7.

I contribute this to the lifestyle.

I'd say 'enjoy, and go for it'!

Sarah

[Bad Sandy]

Originally Posted by DBL D

I don't think what you are going through is a "peek" either. I think you have just awakened sexually and are full of wonder about the future. Well, swinging is a real thing and once you do it I hope you still have the same feelings you have now. I have a feeling you will...just keep an open mind and go for it.

Male D

Dito

Once I decided swinging was for me, I couldn't stop thinking about sex! My hubby said, "now you know what it's like to be a man!" Enjoy and use all that extra energy on your hubby until you find the right couple to play with.

Sandy

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by AreU4Us2Nite

Are these sudden urges and desires and constant state of horneyness (is that even a word) because of the thoughts of a new and exciting sex life, or is it perhaps due to hormones. Maybe I've hit my "peek".
Is that "peek" thing even real?

Maybe it could be a 'peek' thing, but then I must have been at my peek for the last 20 years.

For my wife, it was just the thought of swinging in general when it was new and super-duper exciting. Its still a turn on now, but after our first few encounters it was ALL we could think or talk about. This subsided with time.

Now that swinging is now just 'normal' for us, things have slown down a bit, but its not like we had a poor sex life prior.

[des1re06]

Being a mom of 3 took all my time and energy, and I had no time to focus on myself. I was lucky if I had time for a bubblebath once a month. Seriously!

Now that they're teens, I can focus on myself. Having a sexually open husband (not the kids father, who was a prude) has made a tremendous difference in how I feel about myself. He's allowed me to let the "wild child" out, and I am having a blast!

Sexually speaking, my husband of 8 years and I have had the greatest sex in my life. Now that we're into swinging, it is hot every day. The level of communication we have and open discussions about fantasies has turned a good sex life into incredible.

Enjoy your peak! Your mate definately will too.

Mrs. D

[lurkergirl]

I hit mine around 35, and most of my female friends and relatives all seemed to hit (or be hitting) theirs right around that time as well. It was an absolutely terrible time for me, as my honey and I have rarely in the past 6 years moved above the "once a month" average.

You (and all you fellow posters) are incredibly lucky to have supportive and active partners. In the past 5 years, I've watched a wife's "peak" wreck 3 marriages and make 1 stronger. You are all an incredible community, Kudo's to all of you!