have any other women lost interest in swinging with men?

[Mr&MrsSwing]

Hello all, I post here from time to time, I have been swinging for about a year now and had 5 male partners. The experiences ranged from mediocre to horrid. I find myself wanting only to find females for play with my husband or simply finding couples who only want FF play. I guess my problem is that all of these men have been either unable to keep an erection, or don't know how to make a woman orgasm. My question to other women is: has this happened to you? Have you all ever thought that it isn't worth it to even try?
When you encounter a man in swinging is it presumptuous to assume they know how to have great sex, or do you have to "mold" them into what you specifically like? Am I being too picky?

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by Mr&MrsSwing

Hello all, I post here from time to time, I have been swinging for about a year now and had 5 male partners. The experiences ranged from mediocre to horrid. I find myself wanting only to find females for play with my husband or simply finding couples who only want FF play. I guess my problem is that all of these men have been either unable to keep an erection, or don't know how to make a woman orgasm. My question to other women is: has this happened to you? Have you all ever thought that it isn't worth it to even try?
When you encounter a man in swinging is it presumptuous to assume they know how to have great sex, or do you have to "mold" them into what you specifically like? Am I being too picky?

:surrender

Noooo we lost another one.....

I think your problem isn't that you are being too picky. The problem is you are not being picky enough. While it means we don't play very often, we are pretty sure what we are getting into prior to anyone having their clothes off. We look for 'quality' couples and thats not a looks thing but a what type of people they are thing. We make sure they are both interested in swinging as best we can and that there are no obvious red flags. We basically give no one any benifit of the doubt. This has meant that we don't play as often as we would like but our worst experiances are nothing like the horror stories on this board. It didn't save us from a teeny weenie at one point but thats the worst we had to deal with.

Never had an erection issue, never had a guy who was clueless in bed.

There is also a chance that you are 'hard' to orgasm, some women just are and you might need to tell them exactly what to do to you. Mrs. Chicup used to be hard to O.

[Sweet_Candy]

Originally Posted by Chicup

:surrender

Noooo we lost another one.....

NOOOO! not another one!

Originally Posted by Chicup

:
There is also a chance that you are 'hard' to orgasm, some women just are and you might need to tell them exactly what to do to you. Mrs. Chicup used to be hard to O.

This could be a valid observation since medically 50% of women have not had an "O". It could be your SO knows what it takes to get you to "O". No other man has gotten Candy to "O" either but she says she still enjoys the sex. You might try telling your partner what it will take to get you there. Last I checked men are still unable to read a woman's mind.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by Mr&MrsSwing

Hello all, I post here from time to time, I have been swinging for about a year now and had 5 male partners. The experiences ranged from mediocre to horrid. I find myself wanting only to find females for play with my husband or simply finding couples who only want FF play. I guess my problem is that all of these men have been either unable to keep an erection, or don't know how to make a woman orgasm. My question to other women is: has this happened to you? Have you all ever thought that it isn't worth it to even try?
When you encounter a man in swinging is it presumptuous to assume they know how to have great sex, or do you have to "mold" them into what you specifically like? Am I being too picky?

I think it's always presumptious to assume that a man knows what you want in bed. Great sex means different things to different people and I think it's important for all women to remember that with each new partner they have to show & tell him (or her) what they like and want; not doing so sets yourself up for dissapointment. Now if you are having sex with a guy and telling him what you like and he's still not getting it then he's not only bad in bed but a bad communicator/listener.

As far as giving up on guys...nah... I've had my share of guys who were had erection issues and a few who wouldn't get it if you had a flow chart in front of them, but every one is different. I think that after all the experiences I have had I have pretty much decided that I would rather keep my swinging with guys to soft-swinging, but that's just based on the fact that I love to give head, tease, and make-out. I love sex too but that's always going to be best with the one I love and for me the most fun is always the lead up.

[Pepper & Drew]

Originally Posted by Mr&MrsSwing

Hello all, I post here from time to time, I have been swinging for about a year now and had 5 male partners. The experiences ranged from mediocre to horrid. I find myself wanting only to find females for play with my husband or simply finding couples who only want FF play. I guess my problem is that all of these men have been either unable to keep an erection, or don't know how to make a woman orgasm. My question to other women is: has this happened to you? Have you all ever thought that it isn't worth it to even try?
When you encounter a man in swinging is it presumptuous to assume they know how to have great sex, or do you have to "mold" them into what you specifically like? Am I being too picky?

Is there only ONE way to make a woman orgasm? Maybe they just don't know how YOU orgasm. I find that in playing with other guys in a couple, you can tell what their wife/girlfriend likes, but that's not necessarily what I like. You just have to say...or show. It's not just their responsibility to make sure you have a good time. You should take ownership in that too. And yes, ED happens. As a guy gets more comfortable with you, or more comfortable with swinging, or finds which pill he likes best, it's less likely to happen.

I think if you slow down in choosing who to play with, so that you're sure there is attraction and then take the time to let them know what you want, I think you'll have better experiences.

Pepper

[Pepper & Drew]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

As far as giving up on guys...nah... I've had my share of guys who were had erection issues and a few who wouldn't get it if you had a flow chart in front of them, but every one is different. I think that after all the experiences I have had I have pretty much decided that I would rather keep my swinging with guys to soft-swinging, but that's just based on the fact that I love to give head, tease, and make-out. I love sex too but that's always going to be best with the one I love and for me the most fun is always the lead up.

Flow chart.... Sorry, I'm imagining what the flow chart would look like...struck me funny

Pepper

[ShellyM]

I can't speak for other women, but this woman LOVES MEN too much to forget about em!

[Dooode]

Originally Posted by Pepper & Drew

Flow chart.... Sorry, I'm imagining what the flow chart would look like...struck me funny

Who else has seen that episode of Friends where Rachel and Monica are instructing Chandler on female erogenous zones?

"1 .. 3 .. 4 .. 4 .. 2 .. 5 .. 7 .. 7 . 7 7 7 777!!!!!!!!!"

[intuition897]

Flow chart... hee hee hee.

Julie said it all. I'll have to just Dito what she said.

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by Sweet_Candy

NOOOO! not another one!




This could be a valid observation since medically 50% of women have not had an "O". It could be your SO knows what it takes to get you to "O". No other man has gotten Candy to "O" either but she says she still enjoys the sex. You might try telling your partner what it will take to get you there. Last I checked men are still unable to read a woman's mind.

Exactly! And, when all else fails girls, make it happen.
Get on top! lol

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by Mr&MrsSwing

Hello all, I post here from time to time, I have been swinging for about a year now and had 5 male partners. The experiences ranged from mediocre to horrid. I find myself wanting only to find females for play with my husband or simply finding couples who only want FF play. I guess my problem is that all of these men have been either unable to keep an erection, or don't know how to make a woman orgasm. My question to other women is: has this happened to you? Have you all ever thought that it isn't worth it to even try?

Well, I'm coming from very limited experience with swinging, but alot of experience in living with a man.

First of all, ED happens. On Sat. it happened, hot tub way too hot. NOT good for erections. Now, as a grown woman I could see that he was becoming very frustrated with himself. He knew this was our first time swinging, etc....and wanted to make a good impression. But you know what? I understand that these things happen. And I'm here to tell you, we had an amazing time despite it. And I don't lie about these things, it was so wonderful. We had a wonderful, intimate time. There is no need to worry about these things, and the more you stress the more he stresses and bye bye Mr. Penis.

As far as coming to orgasm. Well, how was my playmate supposed to know what I like after having known me 4 hours, and my husband has known me for 16 years? Come on now, be fair. Just like I can make Jay cum quite fast, and she had to try this and that, going on feedback. Why? She doesn't know his body like I do. I enjoyed the newness of it, the feel of a new man's hands on my body.

If you prefer FF play thats fine. But don't write off men, or at least be fair about it.

thats jmo

Originally Posted by ShellyM

Well, I'm coming from very limited experience with swinging, but alot of experience in living with a man.

First of all, ED happens. On Sat. it happened, hot tub way too hot. NOT good for erections. Now, as a grown woman I could see that he was becoming very frustrated with himself. He knew this was our first time swinging, etc....and wanted to make a good impression. But you know what? I understand that these things happen. And I'm here to tell you, we had an amazing time despite it. And I don't lie about these things, it was so wonderful. We had a wonderful, intimate time. There is no need to worry about these things, and the more you stress the more he stresses and bye bye Mr. Penis.

As far as coming to orgasm. Well, how was my playmate supposed to know what I like after having known me 4 hours, and my husband has known me for 16 years? Come on now, be fair. Just like I can make Jay cum quite fast, and she had to try this and that, going on feedback. Why? She doesn't know his body like I do. I enjoyed the newness of it, the feel of a new man's hands on my body.

If you prefer FF play thats fine. But don't write off men, or at least be fair about it.

thats jmo

I have to agree with ShellyM....I think that how you as a woman react to his problems, has alot to do with the performance. I have seen how woman have acted when MrVan had some issues when we first got into the lifestlyle. If the woman is patient and is understanding things can work out in the end.

I think many woman with this type of mindset ruin the lifestyle for themselves as they only think of their pleasure. You have to think of how hard it is for the man for the first time to have sex with a woman he does not know. You have to let the guys know what turns you on and what makes you orgasm. Any time I talk with another guy, there are times where conversations come up where we talk about what turns us on and this gives him an idea of what does it for me.

I do not think your being too picky, I just think you may not be allowing the men the chance to prove themselves and instead of being patient and understanding, you just push them away instead.

MrsVan

[havefuninsun]

Originally Posted by Dooode

Who else has seen that episode of Friends where Rachel and Monica are instructing Chandler on female erogenous zones?

"1 .. 3 .. 4 .. 4 .. 2 .. 5 .. 7 .. 7 . 7 7 7 777!!!!!!!!!"

OMG!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! And remember what happened? His g/f came over and thanked them. LOL

[havefuninsun]

I'll probably get clobbered for saying this, but I don't believe any man will satisfy you the way your mate does. Like it's been said before, YOUR man knows your spots; he knows how to totally satisfy you. The other folks are playmates ... that's their role.

I don't play with my playmates to find someone as good as Mr. Fun; it just isn't gonna happen. He IS the bomb where I'm concerned ...

No offense to you "other" men ... but y'all know what I mean.

[Mr&MrsSwing]

I think you are right about your mate knowing how to please you the best, actually. The only other way would probably be to have long term swinging buds, and we haven't been so lucky yet. I think I will try to improve on patience. Don't get me wrong, if a guy gets flaccid I don't start rolling my eyes and sucking my teeth, but I probably do just kind of sit back and wait for him to figure himself out (only 1 out of the 5 guys had ED). I think I should embrace the awkwardness of the first experience with a man and progress from there. I love the feel of a big cock!!! I had to get that out there sorry. I like the feeling of it stretching me out as it goes in. As far as I am concerned that is what I care about the most. Anyhow, I think next time I may just take it into my own hands and get on top Thanks everyone.

MRS