What to do next when your "PlayDar" alarm sounds.

[SuAndBud]

Hi,

We posted this in an unrelated thread so hope the moderators will forgive us for starting it as a new thread, here.

Su and I were in our local pub a few months ago when a couple asked to join our company and struck up a conversation with us.

We both noticed how well groomed and attractive they were in addition to there being a sexual aura about them. Similar age to ourselves, he is handsome (so Su says - lol) and fit. She is very pretty with great boobs and a top slashed almost to her navel to emphasise the fact. Both dresses beyond a pub drink standard as do we usually.

Our initial topic of conversation centred around our jobs as you might expect and without any warning, they proceeded to tell us a story of how a client of the husband had recently invited them to his house for dinner although he barely knew them at all. They described the client and his wife in much the same terms that we would describe themselves. Smart, attractive, groomed and oozing sexuallity. "Our initial thought was 'swingers'" they said almost in unison. This was so unexpected that Su giggled and I choked whilst sipping my beverage. A pause ensued but was broken when the husband said "We got out of there as soon as we could". But we're not so sure. It was said too quickly, but not before they exchanged disappointed (or are we just kidding ourselves) looks. (If only they knew that it was a shock of sheer pleasure, excitement and anticipation - not of horror).

We see them quite regularly and always join each other for drinks and conversation. Hindsight is great because had we been prepared for the swinger statement, we'd have said something like "Wow, get them to invite us, too, next time" or "What's their number?", either of which could have been laughed away as a pun if the "getting out of there" remark had still been made.

Problem is that they have now become friends and as most here know, approaching friends is the riskiest of moves. Just because it worked for us the once doesn't mean lightning strikes twice. We do have a feeling though that we probably give out an aura as do they and that all four of us are somehow tapping into that.

Anyone got any ideas how we could get the subject back to our fave interest since they've all but denied being swingers, now?

Or do we try to forget it ever happened?

[SuAndBud]

Update:

Bud had to phone the couple tonight and ask a favour (witnessing a legal document). He chatted to the guy for a while and asked the favour. "You'd better ask my other half" he said and passed the phone to the lady.

Bud said he hoped he wasn't being a nuisance, but needed a favour.

She giggles and says in a pretty breathless voice "Now what favours of mine would you be interested in, then?", all with her hubby sat next to her.

Again, Bud was stumped as it was, again, so out of the blue. Any "Flirtatious One-Liner" books available for him to read up on?

Su's the flirty one of us, so guess it's gonna have to be up to the ladies to steer this between them (buck well and truly passed - lol).

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by SuAndBud

Anyone got any ideas how we could get the subject back to our fave interest since they've all but denied being swingers, now?

Or do we try to forget it ever happened?

Well I guess it just depends on how well you know them. Do something to ping their playdar. A fairly obvious way to do that would be to drop a few swinger terms in conversation. For example, if someone uses the term 'wife-swapping', we can pretty safely assume they are clueless about the lifestyle because anyone who would use that term either has no respect for swinging/swingers, no knowledge of it, or both. Worse yet are the ones who are actually swinging but take the term seriously. I dunno, but to me it brings to mind images of the Cleavers. Martinis and shiny formica kitchens...which the woman is only allowed out of when the man decides its time to pass her around to his poker buddies. :rollseyes Yeesh. Anyway, using the term "the lifestyle" or "vanilla" or even saying something like, "Guess those folks set off your playdar, huh?" If they gasp and look offended or something, you can always claim to have read about it on the web somewhere (I mean, come one, you're not prudes or anything.. lol). Check out the navigation bar at the top for the dictionary and look up a few choice terms.

Or you could just mildly flirt with them a bit. If they swing, they'll be looking at your body language and the way that you interact with one another, how comfortable you are together. If someone flirts with someone else, and somebody gets a little tense or uncomfortable or...miffed...they're probably not into it. But if the flirting leaves them unruffled, or even maybe a bit more interested, then throw out a bit more line.

Swinging is so much fun! I just love shocking people, and I love being surprised when someone whom I thought was as vanilla as they come ends up being a closet swinger. I'm sure my boss is, in fact. She looks like a prim and proper librarian and acts the part real well, too. Then one day she admitted she loved the BlackEyed Peas. This from a woman who plays nothing but opera, classical and jazz on her radio at work. She's just right full of surprises. Likely has a boxful of sex toys under her bed that puts my collection to shame.

[Mike and Jan]

I think this is already past the 'hey are you two swingers too' stage.

I'd think that it's going to have to just happen, then admit you all swing now.

And, there's something to be said about that being fun as well.

Flirt, make suggestive remarks, and respond to all of theirs in a postive manner. Just make sure that all of these are done in the presense of the spouses.

[SuAndBud]

Thanks Intuition and Mike & Jan.

Good observations and sound advice. I (Bud) think the girls are gonna have to call the shots here as I'm useless at chatting up other women in front of their husbands or SO's. Once it's "Game On" I'm more than happy to take the lead (or be lead even. The Gemini in me, I guess LOL), but I find it hard to overcome my inherrent respect for either A) a woman who already has a partner. Or B) that partner.

Intuition, the girls have already expressed interest in each other to the degree that they often make a point of comparing their figures and sexuality quite openly (Yeah I know a lot of women can do this anyway without any alterior motive). They've both made it clear though that they find each other sexy and have even examined (with plenty of touching) each others breasts (Su is small - 32A and J is large, estimate 34C or D - enhanced).

I agree with you Mike & Jan that we deffinately think it's almost beyond the guessing stage and that this is gonna happen. Take tonight for instance. Su and I and Su's friend (who also works for Su) were busy doing work stuff until quite late. We all popped into our "local" for a late drink before bedtime.

Our potential playmates were already there and pushed a couple of seats out so that we could join them.

General chat ensued, but A (the other male) and J (his lady) said "Why do you and Su seem distant? She's speaking with her friend but you two are all but ignoring each other". I explained that we had had an argument earlier and that we were going thru the slow process of coming 'round to each other's point of view.

A and J were obviously very happy together, yet A said "Swap you" (as if they too had had a row, but they obviously hadn't). ONCE AGAIN I just laughed (quite uselessly). He pushed it by saying "I'm serious. I'll swap J for Su if You'll swap Su for J". Yet AGAIN my brain just would not work. All the quick-witted esponses I've gone thru in my head were redundant. Jeez, all I had to do was say "OK" and go onto the next stage of the conversation but I couldn't even manage THAT.

When I didn't respond, he spoke to J in some sort of code. It wasn't a foreign language, but it wasn't English either. He appeared to be saying something like "Made a mistake. Told you so" but J (bless her) was saying (can't know how I know this, I just got the vibes and the smiles from her as she was talking to A) "Calm down, they're swingers, too. Be patient with them".

It seems like they are all (including Su) expecting me to be the driving force here 'cuz ordinarily that is my nature. I'm extremely confident and (relatively) succesful. I'm tall muscular affluent educated and tend to be able to get complete strangers to trust and confide in me as I try not to judge, patronise or suck-up to anybody.

Where this is concened, though, I'm a babe in arms - LOL. Why is it I feel like a pre-pubescent schoolboy with this couple? J knows I'm interested cuz of the way I speak and smile and talk to her (which is always reciprocated) and the times I've all but fallen into her cleavage. She knows and I know that she knows and Su knows that she knows and she knows that Su and I know that she knows that Su's into her and that she's into Su, too.

So what's our problem?

[TwoLittleBirds]

No matter how this ends, will you tell us? I'm going crazy with suspense over here!

Mr. TL Bird

[She_n_Jaybee]

Egads man! I know all about getting tongue-tied. It all began at about age 14, visiting cousins 60 miles from home, we were all at the roller-skating rink, while the parents played poker. They did a "Ladies Choice" skate and the most beautiful little brunette I'd ever seen asked me. At the moment I was waiting to get a loose trolley fixed on my skate. I stammered out that I needed to get my skate fixed and off she went, thinking I didn't want to skate with her. Never saw her again and I still remember her name. Took until my mid 20's to get my confidence back.

Of course that's of no use whatsoever, just had to agonize for a few. Here's my suggestion for solving this problem. Next time you're all together, have Su turn to J, and tell her "we have a problem". "Bud's going crazy because he wants to get you into the sack. Can you help him out while A keeps me company?" If at the first they get the shocked look, she can follow with: "if not, at least tell him it's never going to happen so he can maybe get it out of his head".

Problem will be solved one way or the other, and nobody has to mention anything about swinging.

[SuAndBud]

Thanks for that She n Jaybee, but it's just a little bit too forward for us.

We've discussed this at length and feel sure we're not wrong about A and J.

We reckon the difference in the girls' breast sizes might be the key here. Su's are a modest 32A and J's are pornstar material.

Bud and Su (and J and A) have often commented on J's charms (Su reckons they're enhanced but Bud's not so sure - but then, Su has actually squeezed them when comparing them to her own, so she's probably right). Bud also makes no secret (with A present and observing) of their attraction (hard not to as she always dresses to show them off) and A makes no secret of his attraction to Su's as though small, they point skywards and she too dresses accordingly. So we thought it might be better if Su said something like "I can see he looks at your boobs all the time. You have to help me. How can I let him try boobs like yours when I'm so small? I see A look at my boobs too. I think maybe he would like to try smaller same time".

Assuming they don't get tongue tied like Bud does, we can take it from there. Will let you know how/if it progresses.

[She_n_Jaybee]

Whatever works is my motto. She's method is to just start taking the other woman's clothes off. Then again, we do most of our playing at a swingers club, so nobody is too shocked. Since we practically never visit a pub or any other type of vanilla club, we just don't have the opportunity for those sorts of encounters. Neither of us care for the smoke filled room atmosphere. Fortunately, the play areas at all the clubs we've been to are non-smoking.

[Bedmates]

I think you have to call them out.

Be ready for the comments, as they do come. Take the chance to say "Ok" when a swap is offered. They could just mean for conversation or they could mean other things.

If she asks something like "What favors are you interested in?" then go ahead and be bold enough to say something like "What are my options?" She's not going to give you a list, but it at least gets you deeper into that type of playful conversation.

Just don't tie up your mind thinking you are maneuvering to get them in bed. Enjoy the back and forth and be playful. It may not lead anywhere, but it could.