FF while Hubby watched, are we de-virginized?

[Coupleinidaho]

Apologies up front for the long post, but there’s so much ground to cover, that it’s necessary.

If you’re read any of our/mine/his previous posts, then you’ll know that we had more or less ruled out swinging, for a couple of reasons. First, because I didn’t think I could handle watching my hubby being sexually intimate with another woman. To a much lesser degree, Mr., while being incredibly turned on by the fantasy of seeing me with another woman/man, was unsure how he would feel if it happened in real life. He’s never expressed an interest in having sex with other women (not that he would say no if I asked him too, hehe), the whole idea of swinging was because he wanted to see me be pleasured in every way imaginable. I am also very bi-curious.

Now I must say that hubby is by far the most incredible lover I’ve ever been with, and I’ve had quite a few before him. He’s well-endowed, definitely knows how to use it, loves to go down on me, but most of all, is so passionate in his love making, that I feel like I’m in another world (yes, I know, corny). With that in mind, having sex with another man only turned me on, because it turned hubby on. Me being sexually intimate with another woman is something that turns us both on.

But I digress from the real reason for this post. Last night, a good female friend of mine, Beth, was over to our home for dinner and drinks. I know her through my business, but she has never done any actual consulting work for me, so there’s not an issue of employee/employer situation, which was of issue in a previous post of ours concerning our nanny. (That worked out all on its own, and we never have crossed that line with her again – thanks to the advice of the members of this board).

I’ve always been physically attracted to Beth. She’s 27, single, and is just a great person to be around. Well, after a few drinks (no, we were not drunk, just a bit buzzed), we got on the subject of sex (much like our previous foray). I confessed my bi-curious interests, and that really seemed to spark something in her, as she told us that she use to play with a married couple she knew (we were both struck by her use of the word “play,” as we have only seen it phrased that way with swingers.). Hubby and I went into the kitchen to get some munchies and refill our drinks, and took that time away from her to talk about what we had just learned. Granted we have talked at length about hubby watching me with another woman, but we’d never been really presented with a situation that was safe, and with someone that I really liked as a person, and was attracted to sexually. He gave his total approval for me to “take the plunge” with her, with the boundary that he would only watch and masturbate, and that there would not be any physical interaction between Beth and him. He had the look of a kid in the candy store, and that made me all the more excited.

I went back into our living room, talked to Beth about it, and she was really turned on and wanted to do it. I went and brought back Hubby, and sat him down on the couch. Beth and I started to make out, and without boring you with the details, as this post is way too long as it is, she went down on me, and I went down on her. It was an awesome experience , more so that hubby was there, completely engrossed in what Beth and I were doing, masturbating the entire time.

Now here comes the issue that has prompted this post. While I was going down on her, she told Hubby and I what a beautiful cock he has. That made me quite proud of him, but it also sparked a little jealousy, which I was able to put in its place rather quickly, especially since he wasn’t going to be doing anything with her. After about an hour and a half, with both Beth and I satisfied and tired, we called it an evening, and I walked her out to her car. (side note – hubby and I had such incredibly hot sex afterwards, it was like we were teenagers) It was then that she let me know that she would love to do a threesome with me and hubby, as she has never had a cock as thick and big as his. I told her that I wasn’t ready for something like that at this time, which she respected. But I do have to admit, I got turned on by the idea of seeing Hubby giving it to Beth. It’s just that while I was going down on her, I noticed how incredibly tight her pussy is. I’ve had four kids, all vaginally, and I feel like a cavern compared to her ridged, tight tunnel. If I ever approved of a threesome, I’m scared that he is going to go googoo over her tightness. I realize that the green-eyed monster is present here, but I wanted to see if other woman have had this type of situation crop up? How did you handle it? I think Beth would be the perfect single female for a FFM, as she is a great person, discreet, has experience in this area, and lives in the next state. But I am insecure about seeing my hubby’s big piece of meat getting squeezed by a much younger woman who's never had kids. I should also say that Hubby is not pushing for this threesome, he’s perfectly happy watching Beth and I, and then having some very hot sex with me afterwards. It’s just that I feel like if I am being physically pleasured by a person outside our marriage, he should also.

Any opinions? Also, sorry for the ultra long post.

Mrs.

[EvilMJ]

Sounds like you had a good time.

One important thought for the day. I am 100% sure that your husband loves you, and I bet it has absoutely nothing to do with how tight you are or aren't. Would you leave your husband if you had a threesome with a man who had a longer penis?? I bet the answer is no.

He loves you, he married you, he had children with you. Sounds like he plans to keep ya . It's easy to find ourselves worring about the state of our bodies and how we compare with others, but in the end, it is the whole package that they love, not just one aspect.

My advice is be honest with your husband about your fears, your expections, everything. Then it is all out in the open and you can work through it together before going any further. Jelousy is a natural emotion, we are all subject to our insecurities, no matter how silly or how justified. It is when we share them with our significant other that they become managble.

Sounds like you are on the right track, and it looks like this lady may just be what you are looking for. Make sure you talk everything through before you start, rules, boundaries, fears, hopes, etc. And then enjoy!

[NuCpl]

it is the whole package that they love, not just one aspect.

Well said, EvilMj. How very true.

[Dare2Share]

talking about green eyed monsters....I'm incredibly jealous of YOU! I wish hubby and I could experience what you have.

That's all I have to say. I'm too busy pouting.

[imsnowman]

Well said EvilMJ. And while you seem to have a handle on the emotional side my wife wanted me to say that you can do something about the looseness. She's been using a SexXcel from Blowfish and it is enjoyable for her and me.

[intuition897]

Woo-hoo Coupleinidaho!! Way to go! De-virginized? Yeah, I'd say so. Welcome to Swingersville. It's nice here!

What you did was exactly the way things SHOULD be: no pain, no (unmanageable) jealousy, no disrespect or guilt... And of course there's the ultra-hot sex during AND afterward! If you never do anything other than this, you can still consider yourselves full-fledged members. If you're both interested in working past some of your concerns and trying something more, just do it slowly and thoroughly. It sounds like you've found a real good play partner there; she approached YOU, Mrs. Coupleinidaho, about getting intimate with your husband. That's very appropriate. Had she approached the Mr. instead, I would've been concerned. Plus, you communicated your comfort level to her clearly, and it was respected. This is great!

Anyhow, as I was saying, if you want to work past your fears, take it seriously and work together. In the process, you'll find out things about each other - and about yourselves - that you never knew. My personal perspective on the younger, tighter "racing-pussy" vs. the "more experienced" pussy, is simply this: Yes, he would enjoy the experience. Why? Because it's different. If Mr. intuition was into the athletic physique, or the wiry thin supermodel physique, he'd be out of luck, because I simply would never be one of those. Blondes forever want to be redheads, brunettes forever want to be blondes, and redheads will forever want to be brunettes. But each hair colour has its fan club. One is not better than the other...just different. You trust your husband, right? You don't really believe that he would intentionally hurt you or abuse your trust? And you trust your friend to not try to wrangle him away from you, right? They just want to have sex. Why? Because it would be...just...really cool! Your friend would not be taking anything away from you by doing this, and your husband would not be giving away something by it, either. That he is given the freedom to do this thing is a gift that you give to him. And that he would really enjoy it is a very good thing. You think sex was hot last time? Just wait until you've kissed her goodnight and closed the door behind her, you turn to your husband who still has the smell of her on him and kiss him. His skin is still flushed and is still scented with their mingled sexual excitement. He is falling all over himself with love for you, because are the most incredible woman on the face of the earth to him. Who else but you would give him such a gift? He wants nothing more than to share this experience with you, and you want nothing more than to drink in how vibrantly alive he feels to you right now. You just glow from the inside out. Now...do you really think that he's going to be comparing pussies? All he's going to be wanting right now is to "come home" to you and sink into the warmth of all that you are. You are "home" to him. You are familiar and comfortable. Like an extension of himself. I have never heard of a swinger couple complain that sex with their spouse afterward was "ruined" because they found something better elsewhere. At least not any couple that weren't into swinging for all the wrong reasons...which you two don't strike me as.

That last bit wasn't really trying to sell you on progressing further. I'm just sharing what my own experience has been like. You guys should do whatever it is that you feel like doing. It's your candy store!

Congrats!

[leftcoastcouple]

Originally Posted by intuition897

Anyhow, as I was saying, if you want to work past your fears, take it seriously and work together. In the process, you'll find out things about each other - and about yourselves - that you never knew. My personal perspective on the younger, tighter "racing-pussy" vs. the "more experienced" pussy, is simply this: Yes, he would enjoy the experience. Why? Because it's different. If Mr. intuition was into the athletic physique, or the wiry thin supermodel physique, he'd be out of luck, because I simply would never be one of those. Blondes forever want to be redheads, brunettes forever want to be blondes, and redheads will forever want to be brunettes. But each hair colour has its fan club. One is not better than the other...just different. You trust your husband, right? You don't really believe that he would intentionally hurt you or abuse your trust? And you trust your friend to not try to wrangle him away from you, right? They just want to have sex. Why? Because it would be...just...really cool! Your friend would not be taking anything away from you by doing this, and your husband would not be giving away something by it, either. That he is given the freedom to do this thing is a gift that you give to him. And that he would really enjoy it is a very good thing. You think sex was hot last time? Just wait until you've kissed her goodnight and closed the door behind her, you turn to your husband who still has the smell of her on him and kiss him. His skin is still flushed and is still scented with their mingled sexual excitement. He is falling all over himself with love for you, because are the most incredible woman on the face of the earth to him. Who else but you would give him such a gift? He wants nothing more than to share this experience with you, and you want nothing more than to drink in how vibrantly alive he feels to you right now. You just glow from the inside out. Now...do you really think that he's going to be comparing pussies? All he's going to be wanting right now is to "come home" to you and sink into the warmth of all that you are. You are "home" to him. You are familiar and comfortable. Like an extension of himself. I have never heard of a swinger couple complain that sex with their spouse afterward was "ruined" because they found something better elsewhere. At least not any couple that weren't into swinging for all the wrong reasons...which you two don't strike me as.

That last bit wasn't really trying to sell you on progressing further. I'm just sharing what my own experience has been like. You guys should do whatever it is that you feel like doing. It's your candy store!

Damn, intuition, if that ain't the best advert for swinging, I don't know what could be.

Wish I could have said what you said, how you said it. So well-put. Bravo!

Cheers,
Mr. LC

[LOL_OMG]

Mrs, what a wonderful synopsis...thank you. I have some of the same concerns as you. I think it's a woman thing, we equate love with sex (especially intercourse) and it's very hard to get over the teritorial aspects of seeing our man with someone else. It's happened to me with a simple kiss.

My novice advice would be to look at it as a gift you give to your lover (I think this was said by Mrs Spoo but not sure) and if it feels too weird make things stop and regroup.

Mrs LOL

[kevin&danielle]

OMG, there is a Unicorn in Idaho? Where, where?

[nottykupple]

What Great advice on here, im impressed! Me (hubby) feel there is way more to my wife than her pussy, no one could ever replace her. As for pussy size, doesnt matter, big,small,tight,etc. Love them all. Me and the wife talk everything out(dont hold anything back). Then we go with what we agree upon and are both completely comfortable with.

[funcpl4life]

Tightness isn't a big issue for me. About the only preference I have in the way of tightness is change. Variety is the spice of life and all that. I can *imagine* it being too loose and one time it was darn close to being too tight, but it has never been in the top 100 issues in any relationship or swing encounter.

De-virginized or not, if it was fun slap whatever label on it you want and go back (down?) for seconds!

Mr. FC4L

[Coupleinidaho]

Sorry we haven't gotten back to reply since our original post, but things have been quite busy here with the kids, as we sent our nanny on vacation for two weeks (never realized how much we rely on her!).

Thank you all for your great advise and opinions on our recent experience. It's now been a week since we had our playtime with Beth, and we haven't second guessed our choice to do so. It's actually been quite liberating for both of us. We feel like we opened a new chapter in our marriage, one that is VERY exciting and full of adventure. I (Mrs.) wanted to thank the female board members (Intuition, Evilmj and LOL_OMG), for putting my mind at ease about the whole "racing pussy" vs. "experienced pussy." Hubby has repeatedly reassured me, when we've talked about this issue, that even if he had great sex with Beth, it would never approach the sexual intimacy that we have, due to our deep feelings for each other.

We have already planned for our next playtime with Beth, as she is going to be staying at our place in Jackson for Memorial Day weekend, while the kids are at home with our nanny. We're really looking forward to it, and have done a lot of talking since then. Although I am not ready to see my hubby having sex with her at this time, I do want him to play with me while she and I are having fun. I think baby steps at this point are a safe way of proceeding without invading my comfort zone. Hubby has suggested that we ask Beth (whether it's next month when we see her, or at a later date) if she has a single male swing partner that she trusts, who could possibly join the three of us. Don't know if that's appropriate or not? Thought I would ask you all.

Mrs.

[JTcamp05]

I would say thats appropriate to aske her if she wanted to bring a friend..... You have sure done your homework on this subject. I'm impressed!! Although I think the tightness issue as you may well find out someday, is most likely in your imagination. We all have little insecurities but in the end they are not important as we "think" they are. Your hubby has been very respectful of your desires I would see no reason for him to change. Personally I would think if its ok for you to sleep with someone else (man or woman) why not ok for him to! But you are correct you two have to do what is right for you and your relationship, so I am not judging your actions! Just planting the seed, if you will, to be open minded & you may be supprised how well things go!

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by Coupleinidaho

Although I am not ready to see my hubby having sex with her at this time, I do want him to play with me while she and I are having fun. I think baby steps at this point are a safe way of proceeding without invading my comfort zone.

Very wise! Baby steps are what worked best for us, too.