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Misc Swinger Questions These are read-only topics covering some of the most common questions in swinging.

 
 
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Old 04-06-2006, 08:28 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Are true swinging wives ALWAYS in the mood to play?

Ok sorry for all of the questions, but we are pretty new to this and well it's not an easy topic to ask just anyone about. There are times in this life style where I must admit I am soooooo in the mood. And then there are days I just don't want to deal with it. We have children, work full time and have very busy days. There are somedays I am just not in the mood, plain and simple. Is it true that the "true swinging wives" are always in the mood except for that one time of the month? My hubby says I am starting to appear bi-polar Surrender to him as sometimes I just really want it and then other times it seems to frustrate me..... what am I doing wrong??
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Old 04-06-2006, 08:44 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: One more myth I'd like an answer to......

There is nothing, absolutely nothing wrong with you. As a woman, dealing with all the same things you are (i.e. working full-time and kids), I know exactly where you are coming from. There are times that I just can NOT get in the mood....rough day at work/kids/hubby/housework....you name it, I've been there. Just because you swing doesn't have anything to do with it, it's basic human physiology. When you're tired you are tired.

Besides....it's so much more fun to keep them (men) guessing
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Old 04-06-2006, 08:54 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: One more myth I'd like an answer to......

Whatever you're doing wrong, I must be, too. I think everyone has his good and bad days.

It's also hard to live a stressful, busy life coping with everyday problems and suddenly turn it all into passion. It's difficult to build to a climax when your mind seems stuck on that mean, insensative thing your boss said earlier in the day when he chewed you out for being late.

Hell, since we had children there has been precious little time for swinging, and planning a play date weeks in advance somehow reduces the spontaneity. We never felt we could blow off one of our kid's football games or concerts to go play. We still don't, although, as teenagers, they don't require so much time.

I think you're pretty normal. It's hard to be a nymphomaniac when you've been cleaning house all day.

Hang in there and really enjoy the very good times when you can relax.

Mr. Alura
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Old 04-06-2006, 09:11 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: One more myth I'd like an answer to......

Mrs Spoomonkey is always in the mood...

But this is our life:

1. Get up early to exercise.
2. Get ready to go to work.
3. Go to work.
4. Come home to a house full of... Well... Just the two of us...
5. Check the computer.
6. Have sex...

Now - when I compare that to most people - who have to wedge parenting in the middle of just about every other thing they do, barely making it through another hectic day of home work, chores, laundry, after school activities (i.e. sports, band, etc.) - I realize that maybe - just maybe - we are not the normal ones...

"Real life" can be exhausting. If he doesn't realize that, I wonder how much of the load he is carrying. Take it easy on yourself. You sound perfectly, 100% normal.

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Old 04-06-2006, 10:31 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: One more myth I'd like an answer to......

Thank you all very much for these great responses!!! I am so happy to know I am not going crazy
This is a great forum and although it's my first day here there is really great advice and I hope with our experience to come I can start giving some advice too! In the meantime I really appreciate all of your insight.
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Old 04-06-2006, 10:52 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: One more myth I'd like an answer to......

If he's complaining about you not being in the mood, ask him to do half of your "chores" for a whole week. Then see how he feels.

That's what I would do...but I'm mean like that...

~SS
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Old 04-06-2006, 11:07 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: One more myth I'd like an answer to......

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spoomonkey
I realize that maybe - just maybe - we are not the normal ones...
Just maybe you're not the normal ones???? Good grief, you're a purple monkey and Mrs. Spoo is married to a purple monkey...Of course ya'll are NOT normal

To swing_cpl2,

What you described sounds very normal to me.

Teresa
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Old 04-06-2006, 11:16 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: One more myth I'd like an answer to......

Not married, no kids and I still have times when I'm just not in the mood for sex.
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Old 04-07-2006, 05:03 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: One more myth I'd like an answer to......

yep you are normal, we have enterd that empty nest stage. some days we are in the same boat as spoomonkey, some days we are stressed from work.we always have to check on the kids. thank god they all live in the same town. some days its nakedville around here. some days its swingerville.we could let the lifestyle be our only concern but real normal life dosent allow for that. and some days we are just to damb tired.welcome to normalville.
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Old 04-07-2006, 08:00 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: One more myth I'd like an answer to......

Oh my woman..if I was ready to have sex everynight wouldn't my hubby be happy (or exhausted!).

There are times I could go a a few weeks without sex......why...well I work 9 hour days outside the home, pick up a 5 years old, make supper, clean up, spend quality time with said 5 year old, fit in some exercise time, spend time with hubby...oh shoot, look it's 11:00 pm and I can barely move.

You are in the majority here. No worries.

The next time hubby tells you you seem bipolar, I say switch responsiblities for a week and maybe he would show a little more compassion.
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Old 04-07-2006, 11:13 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: One more myth I'd like an answer to......

EvilMJ wrpte:

The next time hubby tells you you seem bipolar, I say switch responsiblities for a week and maybe he would show a little more compassion.

Excellent thought, EvilMJ! Since Mrs. Alura became seriously ill about two months ago, I've been responsible for all the parenting, house cleaning, etc. Plus, I'm her full-time private-duty nurse. Fortunately, our teenage sons have chipped in with housework, grocery shopping and cooking, so it's not too bad.

Sex is no longer an important aspect of my life.

Mr. Alura
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Old 04-07-2006, 12:54 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: One more myth I'd like an answer to......

No one feels like having sex ALL the time!

You are just human
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Old 04-07-2006, 02:03 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: One more myth I'd like an answer to......

Quote:
Originally Posted by lovedoctor
No one feels like having sex ALL the time!

You are just human
I missed that memo! I could have sex everyday I think? Just never had the chance to find out. Finding someone else who wants sex everyday has been tough.
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Old 04-08-2006, 12:46 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: One more myth I'd like an answer to......

God, would I like to have you as a wife, mistress, or couple to visit.

Do you ever call your mate at work, and tell him how ready you are
for him to come home?

I really liked your comment.

Otto
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Old 04-08-2006, 07:30 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: One more myth I'd like an answer to......

Quote:
Originally Posted by EvilMJ
The next time hubby tells you you seem bipolar, I say switch responsiblities for a week and maybe he would show a little more compassion.
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