What is Drama?

mitzi54 · 12-19-2005, 12:10 PM

On sites such as Swing Lifestyle when you are reviewing profiles what does it actually mean when people say no Drama? I'm pretty sure I know but just want to make sure I'm not missing something. It's also not in the dictonary on this site.

Mrs. Mitzi

txduo2000 · 12-19-2005, 12:48 PM

"No drama" means that they do not wish to meet people who do not have a solid relationship with both partners on the same page. It means they do not wish to deal with those who may have jealousy issues crop up in the heat of the moment. They don't want to deal with people who argue all the time and are trying to use swinging to fill an empty gap in their own relationship. They don't want to deal with couples where only one half of the couple is truly into swinging, but the other half is reluctant and only doing it to please their partner.

Put simply, those that are requesting people be "drama free" don't have a lot of bullshit in their relationship, and they don't want people who DO have a lot of bullshit going on.

mitzi54 · 12-19-2005, 01:02 PM

Thanks txduo. I would have only been partially correct. I really appreciate the help.

Mrs. Mitzi

***JustAskJulie*** · 12-19-2005, 02:14 PM

I would say, in addition to Txduo's description, the drama they wish to avoid also extends to people who bring drama into swinging relationships. People who might start swinging with you then get jealous when they discover you are swinging with others as well. People who have their preferred MO for swinging and can't be accepting of others MO's. People who lie to get others to swing with them, "oh yes, we're open to soft-swinging only" then pushing for a full swap; or "of course we always use condoms" then proving otherwise at the heat of the moment.

DBL D · 12-19-2005, 02:24 PM

Those are definitely the top definitions for drama, but I think drama can be more than that. It's allowing moods to change feelings. It's not being even-keeled. Each couple has a limit to what they will put up with from their partners. Some who think they don't want drama actually really do. When a serious topic comes up among your group and something is taken more lightly than you expect it to can cause drama.

Male D

txduo2000 · 12-19-2005, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

I would say, in addition to Txduo's description, the drama they wish to avoid also extends to people who bring drama into swinging relationships. People who might start swinging with you then get jealous when they discover you are swinging with others as well. People who have their preferred MO for swinging and can't be accepting of others MO's. People who lie to get others to swing with them, "oh yes, we're open to soft-swinging only" then pushing for a full swap; or "of course we always use condoms" then proving otherwise at the heat of the moment.

Absolutely. I forgot some things, because frankly, they haven't occurred with us, so they weren't readily in mind.

Thanks, Julie!

mitzi54 · 12-19-2005, 03:36 PM

Once again thanks to you all. I love this board...

Mrs. Mitzi

sweetshyquiet · 12-19-2005, 11:15 PM

In my admittedly brief experience, "no drama" is so overused that it's become a meaningless cliche. It's just one of those standard things that people seem to put in profiles to attract... because let's face it, who would intentionally hook up with the dramaful?

And yet, "no drama" couples have ended up being the ones who a) make a scene at a party when a couple they formerly played with (but no longer do) arrive with new friends... b) lied about a latex allergy (hers) and later about a vasectomy (uh, his)... c) go on "a break" to "seriously reassess the lifestyle" every couple of weeks...

These are all true stories... and all different couples! not just one sad psychotic pair.

If everyone is looking for "no drama," then how can there be so much of it going around, I guess is my point?

Mitzi, I guess what should be taken away from my post (other than some scary experiences) is that people who say "no drama" can easily end up being just as drama-prone as anyone else. People can misrepresent their emotional status as easily as their physical, and all you can do is assess for yourself.

DBL D · 12-20-2005, 12:01 AM

Can there be such a well-adjusted thing as a couple who are without drama but yet drama follows them around? This thing called jealousy...is it only something to be solved between the man and woman (of the primary couple) and it is somehow ok to be be jealous of your play partners?

That's not drama, that's sick.

Male D

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12-19-2005, 12:10 PM	#1 (permalink)
mitzi54 Here to Stay Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 63 Location: Texas Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:mitzi54	What is Drama? On sites such as Swing Lifestyle when you are reviewing profiles what does it actually mean when people say no Drama? I'm pretty sure I know but just want to make sure I'm not missing something. It's also not in the dictonary on this site. Mrs. Mitzi

12-19-2005, 12:48 PM	#2 (permalink)
txduo2000 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 662 Location: Dallas TX Area Status: Couple	Re: Drama? "No drama" means that they do not wish to meet people who do not have a solid relationship with both partners on the same page. It means they do not wish to deal with those who may have jealousy issues crop up in the heat of the moment. They don't want to deal with people who argue all the time and are trying to use swinging to fill an empty gap in their own relationship. They don't want to deal with couples where only one half of the couple is truly into swinging, but the other half is reluctant and only doing it to please their partner. Put simply, those that are requesting people be "drama free" don't have a lot of bullshit in their relationship, and they don't want people who DO have a lot of bullshit going on.
	__________________ Life is not measured by how many breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away. Last edited by txduo2000; 12-19-2005 at 01:01 PM.

12-19-2005, 01:02 PM	#3 (permalink)
mitzi54 Here to Stay Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 63 Location: Texas Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:mitzi54	Re: Drama? Thanks txduo. I would have only been partially correct. I really appreciate the help. Mrs. Mitzi

12-19-2005, 02:14 PM	#4 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,292 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	Re: Drama? I would say, in addition to Txduo's description, the drama they wish to avoid also extends to people who bring drama into swinging relationships. People who might start swinging with you then get jealous when they discover you are swinging with others as well. People who have their preferred MO for swinging and can't be accepting of others MO's. People who lie to get others to swing with them, "oh yes, we're open to soft-swinging only" then pushing for a full swap; or "of course we always use condoms" then proving otherwise at the heat of the moment.

12-19-2005, 02:24 PM	#5 (permalink)
DBL D Oh...Why not?... Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 2,312 Location: Northern Call-ee-forn-ee-ah Status: Married Couple	Re: Drama? Those are definitely the top definitions for drama, but I think drama can be more than that. It's allowing moods to change feelings. It's not being even-keeled. Each couple has a limit to what they will put up with from their partners. Some who think they don't want drama actually really do. When a serious topic comes up among your group and something is taken more lightly than you expect it to can cause drama. Male D
	__________________ "Just nod if you can hear me..." David Gilmour

12-19-2005, 03:36 PM	#7 (permalink)
mitzi54 Here to Stay Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 63 Location: Texas Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:mitzi54	Re: Drama? Once again thanks to you all. I love this board... Mrs. Mitzi

12-19-2005, 11:15 PM	#8 (permalink)
sweetshyquiet Active Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 24 Location: my navel Status: M. Female	Re: Drama? In my admittedly brief experience, "no drama" is so overused that it's become a meaningless cliche. It's just one of those standard things that people seem to put in profiles to attract... because let's face it, who would intentionally hook up with the dramaful? And yet, "no drama" couples have ended up being the ones who a) make a scene at a party when a couple they formerly played with (but no longer do) arrive with new friends... b) lied about a latex allergy (hers) and later about a vasectomy (uh, his)... c) go on "a break" to "seriously reassess the lifestyle" every couple of weeks... These are all true stories... and all different couples! not just one sad psychotic pair. If everyone is looking for "no drama," then how can there be so much of it going around, I guess is my point? Mitzi, I guess what should be taken away from my post (other than some scary experiences) is that people who say "no drama" can easily end up being just as drama-prone as anyone else. People can misrepresent their emotional status as easily as their physical, and all you can do is assess for yourself.

12-20-2005, 12:01 AM	#9 (permalink)
DBL D Oh...Why not?... Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 2,312 Location: Northern Call-ee-forn-ee-ah Status: Married Couple	Re: Drama? Can there be such a well-adjusted thing as a couple who are without drama but yet drama follows them around? This thing called jealousy...is it only something to be solved between the man and woman (of the primary couple) and it is somehow ok to be be jealous of your play partners? That's not drama, that's sick. Male D
	__________________ "Just nod if you can hear me..." David Gilmour

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