Needing some advice!

[Couplewantingfu]

Hi, I am new and signed up for an account due to trying to post the other day as a nonuser and it didnt work! Here is my problem.
I am not against swinging. We have done swinging in the past. Mostly MFM. I want to say that I am in no way saying this lady that I am about to talk about is a pervert due to being a swinger. Here is the story!
I was online the other day looking at a singles site with a friend. Now this is a regular singles site with alternative life styles as an option when you sign up. So..Im looking through them and then I ran acrossed a lady that teaches my son through his speech therepy sessions. She is alone with him for over an hour once a week. On this site she has her face pictures on it and very very detailed. She says where she lives, what she does, the ages of the children that she works with, what she drives, how many kids she has, that her kids go to a private school (there are only two in our area) their first names, what kind of dogs they have, where they used to live, the fact that the kids go to their dads home on the weekend and summer visits. EVERYTHING! She also adds that she checks her email several times throughout the day. So Am I overreacting in wanting to take my child out of her therepy session. Do I call her boss, do I talk to her about it in private, do I just ignore it, do I take my son out of her class? Please help me this. I will check back often so that I can answer questions. I should state the main reason I am so upset is because this is a REGULAR dating site, she posted her photos sexual and not sexual pics straight out in the open. IF she is not worried about loosing her job from this...what could be going on in that session room that she isnt worried about loosing her job over! Please tell me if I am overacting.

[curiousduo30]

I can appreciate what you are asking and the fact that you are not "against" the lifestyle, HOWEVER, I do believe that teacher has a right to her own personal life whether she chooses to divulge that much info on a web site or not is really a non issue, it is her life. That said, does your child like this teacher? Has she done anything to "raise eyebrows" with her method of teaching? Do you feel that she is a bad influence on your child (other than her sexual preferences)? If you answered negatively to any of these questions, you need to address these issues with her[I][U]. Not her boss, your child or the community at large. She will respect your opinion more and so will others I am sure. Either way, I doubt you would have ever known anything about this teacher being on the website had you not accidentally come across it. So is ignorance bliss? I guess that depends on what you do with the information you have, right now it is up to you to decide what you want to do with that information. Please keep these things in mind before you do anything....
~Mrs. Curiousduo30

[northindycpl]

Welcome to the board.

First off, I do not know many regular dating sites that allow explicit photos to be public. So I question whether your impression was that they were sexier then you would like or not.

I think think this woman has every right to go to a dating site. It has no bearing on her abilities as a teacher.

Maybe you should remove your child from your home, as well... You were on that dating site too.

I think you are overreacting but I can see, as a parent, where it would be somewhat bothersome to you from safety issue- for her. Giving out that much information on the internet might not be a great idea, but too each his own.

[Couplewantingfu]

as I stated, its not the fact that she is on there. Its the fact that she is giving TONS of information out. What if some pervert read that she works with these kids in sessions that are an hour long and got some idea to get "weird". The pictures are One of her face, one of her breast, on of her with a vibrator in her mouth.

[curiousduo30]

As I stated earlier, I still think you need to address these concerns with her. I know it will probably be terribly uncomfortable for you both, but geez I think the fact that you are concerned for her welfare as much as you are for the kids will be enough to make her see your point. Give it a try, you never know, she may not have felt that she gave "too much" info... then again, I am wrong from time to time....I just think that if it is bothering you this much, give her the benefit of the doubt and discuss it with her. As a former teacher, I would be uncomfortable, but your concerns seem to be valid and that cannot be disputed...


~Mrs. Curiousduo30

[midnight hour]

What if some pervert read that she works with these kids in sessions that are an hour long and got some idea to get "weird".

I am assuming your childs speech is in the school system or in some other building and not in her private home.
I have a hard time thinking some perv is going to follow her into the school and then attempt to get weird in a classroom in a public building. I would also go out on a limb and assume for facts only that she is not a child molestor.
I am not quite sure why you are so upset..or want to go to her supervisor to report her?
Her personal life is her personal life...and being on a dating site, I am guessing it is important to get some facts about herself out there..what she is comfortable with..
I am assuming she named her children..not yours..
I am heavy into the disabled community as a advocate to board member...I can not fathom how my personal swinging life creeps into the above..I am not running into group homes in my club clothes.. Nor am I farming out any of the clients to *pervs*
A perv will find a child just as easy in Wal-Mart or the park or the street...they are the ones you never see coming.
I just think she is a very open person.
I think the mentality is there for when one finds out that a teacher or other pure person...happens to have a sexual life or needs it becomes more taboo...for whatever reason...I have also noticed the shudders when it comes to special needs clients. Why I don't know...
If you think it is a concern of her personal safety speak up..if you are just getting the willies because she works with your child, then that is a personal issue.

midnight hour

[Miss_Piggy]

I can understand being concerned. My worry is that she doesn't seem to have a boundries regarding what she talks about on the internet. I'd be wary of being in contact with someone who is so willing to post so much personal information in the internet. It's one thing to put yourself out there on the internet but to give details about her ex and her children... so much detail.... I would be worried that just talking to her might prompt her to go on the internet and post every detail she knows about me. I'm not sure what you should do about your child but I'm going to go ahead and agree that it all seems a little weird.

[northindycpl]

Originally Posted by Couplewantingfu

as I stated, its not the fact that she is on there. Its the fact that she is giving TONS of information out. What if some pervert read that she works with these kids in sessions that are an hour long and got some idea to get "weird". The pictures are One of her face, one of her breast, on of her with a vibrator in her mouth.

I agree with Duo.. You should address this issue with her. I can understand, and what I illuded to in the previous post, it is a matter of safety.

If it were me, honestly, then I would remove my child from her class, because of the risk. I would speak to her about my concerns as well.

[Botcpl]

Well, the single date scene is't the easiest for us "older" types, (I'm assuming she's older that 30) and there is a "surplus" of women looking for men. (I know it's hard to believe, but it is true) It sounds to me she is pushing the envelope to get some attention. It was a straight site, right? Other than the fact she is a little free with the info, I don't see anything really wrong. If she didn't have two of those pictures on the site would you be so upset?

So what's a married guy (part of a couple) doing on a single site?

Why don't you suggest that it might be safer to pull some of the information, but you should not be getting her in trouble. Better to help than to hurt.

If you feel your kid is not in safe hands, move him/her and see if you can find a better teacher, if you can.

Personally, I like teachers.

P

[Couplewantingfu]

Originally Posted by Botcpl

Well, the single date scene is't the easiest for us "older" types, (I'm assuming she's older that 30) and there is a "surplus" of women looking for men. (I know it's hard to believe, but it is true) It sounds to me she is pushing the envelope to get some attention. It was a straight site, right? Other than the fact she is a little free with the info, I don't see anything really wrong. If she didn't have two of those pictures on the site would you be so upset?

So what's a married guy (part of a couple) doing on a single site?


Why don't you suggest that it might be safer to pull some of the information, but you should not be getting her in trouble. Better to help than to hurt.

If you feel your kid is not in safe hands, move him/her and see if you can find a better teacher, if you can.

Personally, I like teachers.

P

To answer what a married guy was doing on the site...it was answered on the first question. However I am the female and I was on the site with the friend. He is looking for someone. No if she didnt have some of those pictures on there or had the explaination that she had sex with a MINOR in a public place then no I wouldnt have been so concerned by it. And is the minor was 16 BUT 16 is still 16. But thank you all for your help. I do appreciate it all!

[jennandjamesinm]

Originally Posted by Couplewantingfu

To answer what a married guy was doing on the site...it was answered on the first question. However I am the female and I was on the site with the friend. He is looking for someone. No if she didnt have some of those pictures on there or had the explaination that she had sex with a MINOR in a public place then no I wouldnt have been so concerned by it. And is the minor was 16 BUT 16 is still 16. But thank you all for your help. I do appreciate it all!

I re-read your first post and there was no mention of her having sex with a 16 yo. That changes the WHOLE story then, yes she should be reported to the school and the police if she indeed have sexual relations with a 16 year old child!!!!!! The pictures are no big deal, but the alleged affair with a minor is an issue.

JEnn

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by Couplewantingfu

I was online the other day looking at a singles site with a friend. Now this is a regular singles site with alternative life styles as an option when you sign up.

Since the site is also an "alternative life style" site, I can understand why she includes the pictures she has. Her including photos of her breasts or a vibrator in her mouth is pretty tame for an alt site. These pictures would not concern me.

as I stated, its not the fact that she is on there. Its the fact that she is giving TONS of information out. What if some pervert read that she works with these kids in sessions that are an hour long and got some idea to get "weird". The pictures are One of her face, one of her breast, on of her with a vibrator in her mouth.

Including all the details of her daily life and personal information DOES concern me. I see her decision to do that as reflecting very poor judgement.

To answer what a married guy was doing on the site...it was answered on the first question. However I am the female and I was on the site with the friend. He is looking for someone.

You didn't mention your frieind was married on your first post. Do I understand you correctly, this married guy is cruising the singles site and you're helping him seek out females?

...if she didnt have some of those pictures on there or had the explaination that she had sex with a MINOR in a public place then no I wouldnt have been so concerned by it. And is the minor was 16 BUT 16 is still 16.

She said she had sex with a 16 year old in a public place? Whoa girl! Let's back up here. This is the first you've mentioned her having sex with a minor. Why didn't you say this from the start?

I'm now questioning the validity of your story.

LM

[curiousduo30]

When I originally posted, I read and re-read your post to determine my answer(s). I can only hope that this is not a valid story, as I would hate to think that this is truly occuring (meaning the 16 year old addition to your post), that being said, if it in fact is something that is truly happening, you need to address this immediately! Otherwise I stand by my previous postings. Also, if this is just a fabricated "story", I feel terribly sorry for you that you find it amusing or enjoyable in the least to post this in the help section of this particular site when there are sites where you can post "stories" for free and not pull people who are truly trying to help you, into fabricated stories...I hate to think that would happen, but I realize sadly that it can.

[Couplewantingfu]

No you misunderstood I did not say he was married. You need to reread that part. As far as the second thing with a 16 year old. I didnt add it because I wanted to see what the statements were. I dont want that to be part of why I pull my child! AT ALL. My child isnt 16 and we all make mistakes however, it all shows bad judgement

Why would someone post something not true?

[lovedoctor]

I initially agreed with the general consensus that she be left alone until later where you said that she stated she'd had sex with a child.

Teachers should not be having sex with 16 year olds. Period. It's illegal in the states, but I'm not sure of your laws. If this is a real situation and we now have the bulk of the facts, I would probably have to pull my child and report her for saying she had sex with a minor. I woudn't talk to her about it first. I'd report it. If she is a pedophile, she needs to not be working with children. This is not for you to decide, but for the authorities. She may just have said this to get attention, but it needs to be addressed in either case. You are right, IMHO, to be concerned, but you also have an obligation to report suspected child abuse.

Is there any reason to suspect that someone else could have set her up by pretending they were her, in order to hurt her? Cuz if it isn't real information that she posted, it could ruin her career...just a thought....