Meeting single guy - having doubts

[iowancouple96]

We're supposed to meet up with a guy this weekend for our first MMF. I'm EXTREMELY nervous. Honestly I'm not quite sure if this is the guy or not. First of all he's supposedly "in a relationship" but he isn't bringing her. Nor have I received any proof that there is a female in the relationship. Hubby and I decided that this would be okay if it was just the three of us, since I've always wanted two guys to myself facelick He gets extremely turned on just thinking about watching me getting fucked by another man. But he made one demand...that he gets to have me first.

Another thing that gets me about this guy is when we chat, he is always asking me what I want to happen. I know that it's a possibility he wants to fulfill certain fantasies of mine, but I told him I'm more of a fly by the seat of my pants, taken control over me, type woman. His mysterious ways are slightly erotic. We don't know much about him, so this is clearly a sexual encounter which is even more of a turnon.

What are you guy's thoughts on this? Do you think we should go along with it? Or come up with an excuse to cancel? Thanks SOOOOO much for any advice!!!

Jenn and Todd

[doubleG]

I'm new but if you both have decided that it is ok if it was the three of you................go get it. You've always wanted 2 guys, here's your chance.

[Vespertine]

Go for it.

You have nothing to lose. If when you meet him, you're not happy with him or the meeting- excuse yourselves and leave. You are NOT obligated to play or spend time with someone you're not comfortable with.

Lots of luck!

[two4youinswva]

The one thing I have trouble getting past is "He's in a relationship".

If he is, does she know about this? If she doesn't, and doesn't approve, then finds out later, it could be a problem for the two of you.

As for the part about being extremely nervous. That's very normal!

Is it hubby that has the demand that he fuck you first? If so, I think that's a reasonable request. (Although I tend to avoid "demanding" anything of or from Mrs two4you )

[iowancouple96]

Originally Posted by two4youinswva

The one thing I have trouble getting past is "He's in a relationship".

If he is, does she know about this? If she doesn't, and doesn't approve, then finds out later, it could be a problem for the two of you.

As for the part about being extremely nervous. That's very normal!

Is it hubby that has the demand that he fuck you first? If so, I think that's a reasonable request. (Although I tend to avoid "demanding" anything of or from Mrs two4you )

He says that she knows. Of course I have no way of knowing for sure. So we're just taking his word for it.

Yes, it's my hubby that demanded that he fucks me first. I find this a reasonable request also facelick And I don't mind having hubby 'demand' anything, as long as it's sexual in nature LOL

Thanks for the advice all!!!

[Chicup]

My guess is he is either cheating on someone or wants to seem more 'normal' by saying he is in a relationship but the rest sounds pretty typical.

The only MMF's we have is with the husband of a couple we have played with for ages (and I return the favor). Keeps it safe and we KNOW the other woman knows.

[Mike and Jan]

I really think that if you, or your husband, have any doupts at all that maybe should keep looking. There are just too many men available to settle on one you're not sure of.
Make your first experience a really great one for both of you! And, there's no hurry at all. You two have the rest of your lives. The planning is a lot of the fun anyway.

[Pepper & Drew]

I think that if you want to do it, go ahead. Now, if it were me, I'd have some reservations because 1) you don't really know whether his sig. other knows (having a woman confront you in a parking lot would really be a mood-kill) 2) it seems like you've never met this guy in person (sometimes you think you're going to hit it off with someone, but in person it's different) and because you're already building this up like you're definitely going to have sex.

I think I'd agree to meet him, but let him know that sex may not necessarily happen on the first meeting. That way, if he turns out to be a total troll, you've not made any promises. More information always makes me feel more comfortable.

Pepper

[JDApopka]

I & the mrs have met several men for mfm and have not yet played on the first meeting although several times I really was hoping it would happen then and when it didn't I was really disappointed. so go with no exspectations it will be more exciting then if something does happen. we played once with a gentleman that was in a relationship and said that it was ok. nothing happened thank goodness but wife felt guilty afterwards like she helped someone cheat. thats why we only play with single men.
good luck though and have fun if it does happen.
ps
tell hubby that being second really is the best part of mfm

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by iowancouple96

We're supposed to meet up with a guy this weekend for our first MMF. I'm EXTREMELY nervous. Honestly I'm not quite sure if this is the guy or not. What are you guys thoughts on this? Do you think we should go along with it? Or come up with an excuse to cancel?

What's your hurry? Whatever happened to the notion of meeting for a "no-pressure, no-committment drink" FIRST? I would think that given how big a step this is for you, you'd want to meet at least few different guys first, then decide if any of them were "right" for you both. As was pointed out recently in another thread, in "real-life," people often differ significantly from their online persona. In setting up a sex-date with somebody you've never even met, you're leaving yourself vulnerable to being pressured into something you may not be entirely comfortable with, at least with this person. Leave yourself an out.

It's like my friend, a negotiator for his union, says..."Even when you know you're going to buy a car, you NEVER get off the bus right in front of the dealers lot"

Have you considered telling this guy that you've discussed the matter with your husband, and that you've both decided that first meetings with everybody, especially single males, are not going to include play? If he's been around the lifestyle for a while, he'll totally understand. If he insists on playing on the first date, he's unlikely to be considerate of your feelings anyway.

he's supposedly "in a relationship" but he isn't bringing her. Nor have I received any proof that there is a female in the relationship.

If he has one but doesn't plan to include her (and it's not a requirement of yours that he do so), it shoudn't matter whether he has one or not. But remember, you're only hearing his version of how things are at his house. It's possible "she" isn't coming because "she's" staying home with their kids, or the hogs, or whatever. "She" may expect him to come home with a cooler full of fish or a bowling trophy. And lastly, "she" may have seen your profile, and said "You want me to do what? With her husband? NO way!"

[iowancouple96]

After careful consideration, we have decided to not meet this guy this weekend. We ended up making better plans with a couple that we've been chatting with for awhile. There were just too many factors that made me decide that this wasn't the guy I wanted for my first MFM experience. Actually HE was the one that didn't seem like he wanted to meet at a bar and have a few drinks first. I suggested it, and he honestly didn't sound like he was all for it. That was one of the main factors on my decision.

And thanks Mike & Jan for making me realize that there are many more men out there that would be perfect for our first MFM, and that we don't need to settle on the first one that comes our way!

This couple we're meeting up with this weekend has similar interests and is looking for the same things we are. We're meeting up for dinner and drinks first, and possibly hitting one of the local strip clubs (which we all enjoy). And after that, who knows what may happen? So instead of being nervous, we're pretty excited!!!

[robel12550]

Very wise choice. From what we've heard, most first time experiences where there are doubts usually end up poorly.

Best of luck with the next guy!

[BorisNatasha]

One piece of advice that I have tucked away after reading the board is to have a phone call or meeting (for drinks, dinner, whatever) with all parties involved, including the claimed significant other that has given permission. Natasha and I would never just take some guy's word for it. The cheater, by definition, is already a liar.

Boris