How do you deal with Bad Kissers

NaughtyKitten · 07-25-2005, 12:26 PM

I did a search and the last time this topic came up was back in december. So I am resurecting it due to a situation that came up recently.

We had a wonderful evening with a new couple we met the other night. We went to a fabulous restaurant and then to a swing club for drinks, dancing and whatever...... We had some great conversation and some very HOT dancing. I have never danced with someone like that, it was great!! I felt attracted to him on a physical and intellectual level but then the kissing. UGH!

He is one of those tongue down your throat kind of guys, all tongue, not much lip. It was not good. Now, I tried to gently let him know what I wanted but he wasn't responsive. I said, very sweetly, at one point, "Let ME kiss YOU." Hoping that might calm him down and he would let me take the lead but no. This is such a problem for me. I don't know what to do.

So my questions: I know we are going to meet again. Should I talk to him about it? If someone told you they wanted you to kiss them differently would you be offended or would you go along with it and try something new?

Vespertine · 07-25-2005, 12:37 PM

Ew. I have a hard time kissing bad kissers. Bad kissing is a total turn-off for me. Like you, I prefer more lip rather than tongue diving. When I was single, I wouldn't go out for a second date with a bad kisser.

Wow, how do you let someone know that they're not kissing you right? I'm a wussy when it comes to telling someone that they're doing something I don't like. I usually just try to avoid doing whatever it is that they're doing. But Kissing? That's an important part of fooling around for me. Something I can't do without.

If I were you, I'd probably tell him that I was uncomfortable with "deep" kissing. I'd say that, for me, it's too intimate to do with swing partners.

That's the wussy way to do it anyway!

free love · 07-25-2005, 12:50 PM

kissing is very important for me, i once, and only once met a girl who i would consider to be the perfect kisser for me. Don't get me wrong, i'm probably far from perfect to some people, but I'll remember her for ever, fell for her instantly.

Devon, Free Love x

**LikeMinds321** · 07-25-2005, 12:52 PM

How about giving this a try.

Next time you're together and start to kiss, pull back a bit and pause for a moment, look into his eyes with whatever expression you feel appropriate, and ask him, "Would you like to know my favorite way to kiss?"

How can he say no?

Then tell him in an assertive way (I truly think most men like that at the right moment), "Don't do anything, I'm going to do it all." Then begin kissing him, if he starts to use his lips or tongue or responds in any way, stop, tell him, "Don't move, I'm doing this," then continue to show him what you like. When you feel he's had a good lesson, then tell him you'd like him to do the same to you.

See what happens and let me know. I did this once with a great kisser, because I wanted to see what it felt like to control the situation. He loved it. Maybe this will work with your bad kisser.

LM

**Alura** · 07-25-2005, 12:56 PM

You have to tell him. You don't seem able to cave in to his style, and there is no reason you should.

He probably thinks he's a great kisser, but he needs to tailor his kissing to what you like.

With that in mind, there is a way you can make him quit sticking his tongue deeply into your mouth. Suck hard on it. It'll hurt him like hell. After a couple of times, I think he'll be reluctant to shove it down your throat again.

Mr. Alura

**LikeMinds321** · 07-25-2005, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alura

With that in mind, there is a way you can make him quit sticking his tongue deeply into your mouth. Suck hard on it. It'll hurt him like hell. After a couple of times, I think he'll be reluctant to shove it down your throat again.

Mr. Alura

This is brilliant. I'll remember this, especially with a guy who is slow to learn.

Thanks Al!

LM

BradAndJanet · 07-25-2005, 02:19 PM

I think your approach would work wonderfully LM! It's totally non-confrontational and sexy as hell.

Did I mention that I'm a really bad kisser?

-B

WildMiCouple · 07-25-2005, 02:29 PM

NaughtyKitten......absolutely tell him. LikeMinds has a great suggestion on how to instruct him in a very sensual way. When Tammy and I started dating way back when, she used to hate the way I kissed

..... way to sloppy for her. Got to the point she didn't want to kiss me (good thing I was good at making love to her

) and I finally had to ask her why. She explained it to me, and I've kissed her the way she likes it ever since

Kinda like oral sex. While going down on the female half of another couple we were recently with, I used the usual techniques that Tammy likes. She slid away real quick and said "I like it real....real.....gentle". Ok, sounds good to me

A short time later.....just before her orgasm, she said "wow.....you listen pretty good". facelick

NaughtyKitten......ya just gotta let us guys know what you want or like.

Brett (and Tammy)

ps: LikeMinds.....you can teach me how you like to kiss anytime

**LikeMinds321** · 07-25-2005, 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BradAndJanet

I think your approach would work wonderfully LM! It's totally non-confrontational and sexy as hell.

Did I mention that I'm a really bad kisser?

-B

You slay me, Brad.

The lengths you'll go to get a kiss!

LM

**LikeMinds321** · 07-25-2005, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WildMiCouple

ps: LikeMinds.....you can teach me how you like to kiss anytime

Brett ~

If we ever show up at the same Meet Up, I'll be glad to use you as my demo subject in front of the group.

LM

Chicup · 07-25-2005, 02:42 PM

This is kinda funny for us as we have played with a couple for a long time but they had a 'no kissing rule' (though we did everythig else).

Finally when we did kiss we found out that both are pretty bad kissers

NaughtyKitten · 07-25-2005, 02:57 PM

Thanks for all the great advice. I love hearing everyone's bad kisser stories too! I will have to tell him and now I have some great ideas about how to do it....thanks LM.

WildMiCouple · 07-25-2005, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

Brett ~

If we ever show up at the same Meet Up, I'll be glad to use you as my demo subject in front of the group.

LM

LM......well I might be a real slow dummy...er demo. Might take some extra effort on your part

We're hoping to fly out to Reno this fall for the meet-up. Maybe see ya there.

Brett (and Tammy)

CuriousInOregon · 07-25-2005, 06:06 PM

Ok I have learned Honesty is the best policy when it comes to bedroom rules Expecially kissing, My husband just recently told me that I was a "bad" kisser, I asked him to please tell me what it is he didnt like, WELL it turns out I kiss like the "typical man" cant cram your tongue down far enough cant touch you in enough places at the same times Lets get it on type of kiss. I was Shocked to see he viewed me that way, But Glad he told me So now When I kiss my husband I let him "lead" the kiss so I dont get to carried away

BradAndJanet · 07-25-2005, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

You slay me, Brad.

The lengths you'll go to get a kiss!

LM

I'm absolutely incorrigible.

-B

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07-25-2005, 12:26 PM	#1 (permalink)
NaughtyKitten Active Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 182 Location: Michigan Status: Couple	How do you deal with Bad Kissers I did a search and the last time this topic came up was back in december. So I am resurecting it due to a situation that came up recently. We had a wonderful evening with a new couple we met the other night. We went to a fabulous restaurant and then to a swing club for drinks, dancing and whatever...... We had some great conversation and some very HOT dancing. I have never danced with someone like that, it was great!! I felt attracted to him on a physical and intellectual level but then the kissing. UGH! He is one of those tongue down your throat kind of guys, all tongue, not much lip. It was not good. Now, I tried to gently let him know what I wanted but he wasn't responsive. I said, very sweetly, at one point, "Let ME kiss YOU." Hoping that might calm him down and he would let me take the lead but no. This is such a problem for me. I don't know what to do. So my questions: I know we are going to meet again. Should I talk to him about it? If someone told you they wanted you to kiss them differently would you be offended or would you go along with it and try something new? __________________ ---NaughtyKitten

07-25-2005, 12:37 PM	#2 (permalink)
Vespertine Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3,688 Location: Shangri La Status: Happily Married	Re: Bad Kissers Ew. I have a hard time kissing bad kissers. Bad kissing is a total turn-off for me. Like you, I prefer more lip rather than tongue diving. When I was single, I wouldn't go out for a second date with a bad kisser. Wow, how do you let someone know that they're not kissing you right? I'm a wussy when it comes to telling someone that they're doing something I don't like. I usually just try to avoid doing whatever it is that they're doing. But Kissing? That's an important part of fooling around for me. Something I can't do without. If I were you, I'd probably tell him that I was uncomfortable with "deep" kissing. I'd say that, for me, it's too intimate to do with swing partners. That's the wussy way to do it anyway! __________________ Ves The art of life lies in taking pleasures as they pass, and the keenest pleasures are not intellectual, nor are they always moral.

07-25-2005, 12:50 PM	#3 (permalink)
free love Registered Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 7 Location: Devon, UK Status: single male	Re: Bad Kissers kissing is very important for me, i once, and only once met a girl who i would consider to be the perfect kisser for me. Don't get me wrong, i'm probably far from perfect to some people, but I'll remember her for ever, fell for her instantly. Devon, Free Love x

07-25-2005, 12:52 PM	#4 (permalink)
LikeMinds321 Let's get comfortable... Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 8,547 Location: On the couch Status: Married to Mr LM	Re: Bad Kissers How about giving this a try. Next time you're together and start to kiss, pull back a bit and pause for a moment, look into his eyes with whatever expression you feel appropriate, and ask him, "Would you like to know my favorite way to kiss?" How can he say no? Then tell him in an assertive way (I truly think most men like that at the right moment), "Don't do anything, I'm going to do it all." Then begin kissing him, if he starts to use his lips or tongue or responds in any way, stop, tell him, "Don't move, I'm doing this," then continue to show him what you like. When you feel he's had a good lesson, then tell him you'd like him to do the same to you. See what happens and let me know. I did this once with a great kisser, because I wanted to see what it felt like to control the situation. He loved it. Maybe this will work with your bad kisser. LM Last edited by LikeMinds321 : 07-25-2005 at 02:30 PM. Reason: grammar

07-25-2005, 12:56 PM	#5 (permalink)
Alura T-Town Playmates Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 6,126 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Status: Married to Mrs. Alura	Re: Bad Kissers You have to tell him. You don't seem able to cave in to his style, and there is no reason you should. He probably thinks he's a great kisser, but he needs to tailor his kissing to what you like. With that in mind, there is a way you can make him quit sticking his tongue deeply into your mouth. Suck hard on it. It'll hurt him like hell. After a couple of times, I think he'll be reluctant to shove it down your throat again. Mr. Alura __________________ "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it." —Will Rogers Last edited by Alura : 07-25-2005 at 12:59 PM.

07-25-2005, 02:19 PM	#7 (permalink)
BradAndJanet Only slightly cracked... Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 7,071 Location: Seattle Status: Married Couple	Re: Bad Kissers I think your approach would work wonderfully LM! It's totally non-confrontational and sexy as hell. Did I mention that I'm a really bad kisser? -B __________________ "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." - Mark Twain All about us...

07-25-2005, 02:29 PM	#8 (permalink)
WildMiCouple Never up.....never in Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 541 Location: se Michigan Status: Couple SLS Name:wildmicouple	Re: Bad Kissers NaughtyKitten......absolutely tell him. LikeMinds has a great suggestion on how to instruct him in a very sensual way. When Tammy and I started dating way back when, she used to hate the way I kissed ..... way to sloppy for her. Got to the point she didn't want to kiss me (good thing I was good at making love to her ) and I finally had to ask her why. She explained it to me, and I've kissed her the way she likes it ever since Kinda like oral sex. While going down on the female half of another couple we were recently with, I used the usual techniques that Tammy likes. She slid away real quick and said "I like it real....real.....gentle". Ok, sounds good to me A short time later.....just before her orgasm, she said "wow.....you listen pretty good". facelick NaughtyKitten......ya just gotta let us guys know what you want or like. Brett (and Tammy) ps: LikeMinds.....you can teach me how you like to kiss anytime

07-25-2005, 02:42 PM	#11 (permalink)
Chicup Not a potential *** Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 2,348 Location: Under the bed Status: Tired	Re: Bad Kissers This is kinda funny for us as we have played with a couple for a long time but they had a 'no kissing rule' (though we did everythig else). Finally when we did kiss we found out that both are pretty bad kissers

07-25-2005, 02:57 PM	#12 (permalink)
NaughtyKitten Active Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 182 Location: Michigan Status: Couple	Re: Bad Kissers Thanks for all the great advice. I love hearing everyone's bad kisser stories too! I will have to tell him and now I have some great ideas about how to do it....thanks LM. __________________ ---NaughtyKitten

07-25-2005, 06:06 PM	#14 (permalink)
CuriousInOregon Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 601 Location: Oregon Status: Couple/ Single Female SLS Name:CuriousInOregon	Re: Bad Kissers Ok I have learned Honesty is the best policy when it comes to bedroom rules Expecially kissing, My husband just recently told me that I was a "bad" kisser, I asked him to please tell me what it is he didnt like, WELL it turns out I kiss like the "typical man" cant cram your tongue down far enough cant touch you in enough places at the same times Lets get it on type of kiss. I was Shocked to see he viewed me that way, But Glad he told me So now When I kiss my husband I let him "lead" the kiss so I dont get to carried away

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