Are Swingers Considered an Easy Lay?

[OhioCouple]

Spoo's thread about Without Her... got me to thinking... (Yeah, hush already, ya'll)...

Are swingers considered an easy avenue for those who are not getting what they need/desire at home? Let's face it, any guy or gal can have a one night stand or even multiples by just spending an evening in their local tavern. This would seem to solve the immediate problem however the abundance of those that seek coupled swingers out, give me the impression that they are unable to get the 'sex for merely gratication'. Are we considered 'safer', perhaps...than a one night pick up because we adhere to certain health standards? Is it because they think we are sexually 'easy'? Does the internet entertain an idea of easiness about swingers? Are we considered cheaper and less of a hassle than seeking out one involved in prostitution? What, I ask ya? Just, what compels them...

[good times]

Beats me what the answer to your question is, but we sure do see a lot of them. I have often wondered this same thing about the single males that go to the clubs. It seems to me if they just want to get laid the odds would be much better at a regular bar or night club.

[sexcouple]

Not actually ever been in a situation, (but actively looking!!). It is gong to be extremely hard to just have sex with us....I mean really we already have sex together...What we are looking for is far more!...So, as time progresses we will keep you posted as to how easy of a lay we are ( just kidding).

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by good times

I have often wondered this same thing about the single males that go to the clubs. It seems to me if they just want to get laid the odds would be much better at a regular bar or night club.

I'd be willing to bet a single man (with -no- swing experience) would think his chances of "scoring" at a Swinger's Club would be better than at a vanilla type club---I think they'd figure the women go there strictly for sex and are nymphos.

[VegasLee]

Somewhere I got lost in this thread....

I know of many wonderful ladies that go to the club we do, both single and married that are there to get laid. They keep is simple and don't pretend otherwise. I also know many men that come there for the same reason. It seems to work well for both sexes at the club.

My own Lovely Lady in my life, Laura goes to the club to find guys that she wants to play with. She has many male friends that come there for the same reason.

I don't think that makes any of them "easier" then any others, just that they do come there with a purpose in mind and that is the place to do it.

If we are not going to an on premise swing club to have sex can someone tell me why we would go there and take up space of those that are there to have sex? That is what "bars" are for.

[stoutgatte]

Originally Posted by Vespertine

I'd be willing to bet a single man (with -no- swing experience) would think his chances of "scoring" at a Swinger's Club would be better than at a vanilla type club---I think they'd figure the women go there strictly for sex and are nymphos.

Dito

Originally Posted by VegasLee

I know of many wonderful ladies that go to the club we do, both single and married that are there to get laid. They keep is simple and don't pretend otherwise. I also know many men that come there for the same reason. It seems to work well for both sexes at the club.

Yep, you're right, but there are many more single men that go to the club we do. And I think that was the intention of the thread. The single man going to a swingers club does so with the intention of an easy score (with very few exceptions). The single woman goes to a swingers club because she wants to get laid. The single men are not in great demand, but are more demanding... Since single women are in great demand, they tend not to be a pain...

My 2c

[WesternSwing]

IMO, I think it is several reasons. First, most vanillas consider swingers to be very promiscuous and that we're all uncontrollable nymphos that will fuck anybody, anytime, anywhere. From a recent poll I saw here regarding how many partners total people have had, I would say that this is definitely not the case.

Second, for men looking for something they are not getting in their marriage, it is as Erica Jong put it years ago, the "zipperless fuck". No strings attached.

So there you have it. They think we're easy, and they don't have to worry about a relationship developing that would threaten their marriage like having sex with a single woman picked-up in a bar.

Mr. WS

[2play04]

Originally Posted by VegasLee

If we are not going to an on premise swing club to have sex can someone tell me why we would go there and take up space of those that are there to have sex? That is what "bars" are for.

Golly. We've gone to an 'on premise' type thing in Vegas and an on premise campout this year...not wanting to partake in the sex right then and there at all.

Why do we go and take up space then? To feel the great vibe and meet wonderful, open minded people. We meet people that we may hook up with later, if all works out...just not right then and there.
(sorry for the hijack!)

Onto the topic at hand... I think people think we may be a good avenue for cheap, fast, easy sex. As an added bonus, we're openminded, we won't CARE that their cheating or we would be going against our openminded ideals, right?

Except for myself, and many others, this is not true. Darn it if I don't like going out dancing and dining and heck, good (non sexual) conversation gets me all tingly feeling. (I probably shouldn't get started on how none 'openminded' I am about cheating.)

[good times]

What Lee said is true for us also, But if we go to the club on the nights when they admit single males it is not unusual for the guy to girl ratio to be more than 10 to 1. Not very good odds for the guys. In contrast, at the non swinging dance clubs we go to it is closer to 1 to 1. That is what I meant when I said it seemed to me the odds of getting laid seemed better at regular clubs.

[tazzie_n_truck]

As far as we are concerned, we are not an easy lay. We have come across people who think because we are swingers that we are always looking for sex, which just isn't true.

Yes we enjoy sex, but we are not always looking for it. So we would say we are deffinatly not easy by any means.

[WesternSwing]

I just did an informal survey of Swing Lifestyle and Swappernet new members to see how many are single men. On both sites 55% of all new members were single men. 95% were free memberships on Swing Lifestyle and 86% were free memberships on Swappernet. Of those that had pictures, paid or not, 60% were pictures of their cock.

I may be reaching here, but I think that says it all. At least many single men (or married men pretending to be single) think that swingers are easy lays and it will be an easy way to get some.

Mr. WS

And notice I didn't say "all single men". We have met some at parties in the past few months that have changed our overall opinion about single men. There are some good ones out there.

[BettyAnnMBSC]

60% were pictures of their cock.

I don't think I have ever selected a partner based on the appearance of his cock.

I have moved on from a profile or email because all that is there is a penis pic. I generally way what a dick.... and move on.

this having been a special service announcement for all the single guys out there that might want a shot at getting in the door.... a nekid pic is ok if you want -- but include something else too.

[xxoticangel]

I will have to disagree with the board on this one. Given that a dog is a dog the leaches and "Guidos" would have no chance of getting laid anywhere regardless of the ratio. IMHO a well dressed, well mannered, clean and sociable single male has a 30-50% chance of getting invited to join a couple or two during the course of the evening. On the other hand, Tom Cruise (if he were a blue collar worker and not a movie star) only has a 10-15% chance of hooking up in a vanilla club. This is based on an informal study a group of us did in the mid 80's in the clubs around San Antonio. Going out every Thursday, Fri and Sat night the best looking, smoothest guys only hooked up once every two weeks or so. (What can I say I have no idea why we did that)

[De and Ci]

Interesting thread. I suspect most of the "single" guys on the swinger date sites are only there to get their jollies off on posting photos of their cocks and maybe some dirty chat. From what I've heard, most of the couples who tried to take single guys up on offers to meet via the date sites-the "single" guys usually flake out-don't show up, too busy, etc. I think its just a cheap thrill on their part.

The guys that go to the swinger clubs are probably there hoping to see some hot action and if they're lucky-get invited to join. Probably the same reason that guys go to peep shows at adult bookstores.

[chickadiva]

Per 2play04: Onto the topic at hand... I think people think we may be a good avenue for cheap, fast, easy sex. As an added bonus, we're openminded, we won't CARE that their cheating or we would be going against our openminded ideals, right?

Not to get into "single male" bashing, because there are good decent single males out there, but we have noticed the above attitude from men more than women. The "my wife doesn't provide what I need, and you are into this lifestyle, let's play" men (using one of the many lines we've heard).

Yeah, right. :rollseyes In our experience swingers are hardest on those who cheat. If we can talk openly to our partners about our wants, needs, and desires...so can you Mr. Married-but-looking-for-sex-without-the-Wife. We've been noticing more of these hanging out at clubs and in online groups, and our guess is it's for the reasons others have stated - they are hoping for easy, quick hook-ups with no strings with those who are concerned about safe sex.

But like someone else commented, a dog is a dog. You can usually spot them fairly easily and avoid them too. The lifestyle is a series of interviews and first dates. After a while you get really good at identifying behavioral clues.

~M


Oops. All that and I didn't answer the title question: To outsiders, yes I do believe swingers are considered an "easy lay". I believe a lot of people believe we are simply sex-crazed maniacs who "do" anyone.