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SA_Cpl

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  • Content Count

    21
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15 Good

About SA_Cpl

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 03/28/1959

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Texas
  • Occupation
    Consultant
  • Swinging Experience
    10 yrs.

Swinger Info

  • Favorite Club(s)
    InfinityforSerenity
  1. Well, I feel that the research isn't necessarily flawed, but rather that the respondents in the research are flawed. Admit it, some couples are going to have a hard time admitting to participating in the lifestyle even in an anonymous research program. And again, how do you define a swinger? Is someone that has participated at some point in their life in a non-monogamous sexual encounter a swinger (such as a 3-sum)? Hoiw about a married, but actively bisexual woman? If she has a girlfriend, does that make her a swinger? Or rather, are you going to define it narrowly it someone that participates on a regular basis at lifestyle events. In today's online swinging world, there are a lot of people that would characterize themselves as swingers that I would never call a swinger. A single guy looking for couples online? How about a married guy playing alone? OK, so if you are going to limit it to couples, how about a couple made up of individuals where one or both are married, but not to each other but they swing as a couple. We've met a few of those over the years. See what I mean? Any research projects begins with defining the scope and definitions to be used for the study. As long as the definition of what is a swinger is so nebulous, you are going to have a pretty wide spread in your results. The other problem with these sorts of studies is the sample used. Ideally, a sample is representative of the population being studied. That's where a lot of problems come in. For example, how may bible tumpers are going to respond to a survey about "kinky" sexual practices? The other problem is time frame used. We all know there is a high drop out rate in swinging. Many couples give it a try and for very reasons don't survive. So, does your definition include on people active in the lifestyle or someone that was simply involved in the lifestyle at one point in their lives. Based on our experience, the 1.5-2% numbers that are usually reported by these studies seem reasonable for active lifestyle participants.
  2. You want scenarios, I've gota few for you. 1. We were at a party once with some older friends. Our friends son and his wife walked through the door. Apparently the host didn't know they were related when the invites went out. Neither the parents or the son knew that the others were swingers. So what do you do in that situation? Making a scene by either the parents or the son would have been pretty hypocritical, wouldn't it? After all, they were both there for the same reasons. You want to know how it turned out, don't you? Go ahead and admit it. Well, it actually turned out pretty well. Both couples went their own ways when the partying got started and everyone had a good time. The Mother actually made a remark to me along the lines of "like father, like son." Some other folks at the party seemed to have more of a problem with it then they did. When it was brought up, we just told them that it wasn't like they were going to be playing together. 2. We knew a mother and daughter, both single, that went to the same parties. My hubby played with both of them, although seperately. They definitely were not into the typical male fantasy of a mother/daughter tag team. Neither mother or daughter seemed to have a problem with it. As a matter of fact, the Mom said they would get together afterwards to compare notes on their lovers. 3. We were at a party once and one of the co-host couples had brought they 19-20'ish year old daughter to the party with them. When we asked them about it later, the mother told us that she'd rather have her there, with people she knew and trusted, then in the back of a car somewhere. The girl apparently had a very healthy libido, like her mother, and either the parents were going to have to accept it, or send her off to a convent. I ran into the daughter online may years later. She had gorown into a great woman, and was a wife and mother and seemed like the kind of person I would like to know better. 4. We had recently moved and were trying to get into the local lifestyle community. We were invited to a meet and greet and it turned out that the hosts lived just a few blocks from us. We got to be very good friends with this couple and did a lot of things both socially as well as partied with them and their friends. After we had known them for several months, they admitted one night that they were first cousins. Apparently they had run into each other after having gone through mariage, child rearing, and eventual divorces for both them. A relationship had developed and led them becoming a couple. Both shared an interest in swinging that had not been shared with their ex-spouses. The moral of these scenarios? I guess that in all of them, the people were all pretty well adjusted people that seemed to allow for family members to participate in the lifestyle with them. In all of them, except in #4, there was no incenst involved. In that case I don't even feel that it was an issue. After all, our taboos about incest are based on reproduction, not sex itself. This couple were past the point of having children. As to the original question, I don't feel that it should be an issue as long as all the parties involved are comfortable with it. It's not really any different then any of the other similar posts about folks running into acquaintances that they know socially or from work within swinging. Everyone is there for the same reasons and with the same goals in mind. The same rules of discretion apply. Why should it be a problem?
  3. When In doubt, do some research. I found the following article: http://www.ejhs.org/volume3/swing/body.htm The following is an excerpt: "Estimates of the size of the swinging population vary widely. Research provided by North American Swing Club Association (NASCA) (McGinley, 1995) found that 15% of couples in the U.S. have at some point incorporated swinging into their marriage. More conservative estimates are offered by studies which are unrelated to NASCA. Hunt (1975) and Weiss (1983) estimate that two to four percent of married couples have engaged in swinging at least on an occasional basis. Bartell (1971) found the figure to be one percent and Cole and Spaniard (1974) found, based on a small college community sample, that 1.7 percent had experienced swinging at least once."
  4. There is a great website that does a wonderful job of discussing this topic that I would like to recommend. It is: http://www.LibChrist.com They have operated a christian swinging group in the Phoenix area for many years. I recommend the site to many newbies. It not only discusses religion but many other relationship issues commonly encountered in swinging and other alternative lifestyles, such as poly.
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