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rpu3

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rpu3 last won the day on September 2 2009

rpu3 had the most liked content!

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About rpu3

  • Rank
    Doing it our way...
  • Birthday September 18

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Married Female
  • Location
    Ohio
  • Interests
    Making money to travel, skate, ski, improve home, and to participate in other forms of relaxation
  • Occupation
    Some form of legal
  • Swinging Experience
    2.5 years

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    rpu3
  • Favorite Club(s)
    Princeton

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  1. I refer to rpu99 as "The Spousal Unit" informally. I don't like saying "my husband" etc. because it feels possessive to me, and I don't own him. That's solely my POV and I'll be sticking w/that one for the time being. If that usage bothers others, so be it.
  2. We do have an open marriage forum and a poly forum, in addition to the swing-related forums.
  3. We have a Meet-Up forum which discusses upcoming and proposed meetups, not that every Meet Up necessarily ends up a swing club, mind you. There was a meetup in Gatlinburg a couple of weeks ago, and people from Michigan did show up. It was a reasonable drive from this part of the Rust Belt. Maybe your wife would be interested in attending for the sake of meeting people from the Board, which is more the intent of a Board "Meet Up", rather than having to "get her to go for that..."
  4. and Your original question was if there was a standardized definition. I don't believe there is one, since the key word is "I'd", not "we". As such, I don't believe it's an issue of right or wrong, IMO, just because he'd like to fuck her and you didn't feel the same. The problem with your associate, more likely than not, is that you stated your opinion rather bluntly. You probably surprised the shit out of him, and maybe even hurt his feelings, etc. I doubt he was expecting such a response, when most likely just turn such a comment into something else, like, "She seems nice. Glad you seem to like her." etc. Just my penny.
  5. MILF to me is nothing more to me than "Mother I'd Like to Fuck". Emphasis on "I'd" all mine, as it's who I'd like to fuck and I'm not speaking for anyone else. There are going to be a gazillion definitions of "MILF", since it's rightly a personal matter. That being said, I hope your associate got over it, or will in time. I would have been quite stunned to hear that. I'm not much of a liar, but I'd figure out something to say to save another's feelings. Kind of hard for Mr. Associate to save face or the like after that one.
  6. rpu3

    I miss sharing

    (More Hugs) I'd missed hearing from you. I am so glad to hear that Gator is recovery. That must have been incredibly frightening. And then your quad on possible permanent hiatus must be incredibly sad, frustrating, angering, and every other emotion you could tack on to this sentencee. I'm so sorry about all of it. It must have been, and likely remains to some extent, a very stressful time. I don't have anything worthwhile to say, other than thank you for posting. I hope Gator's recovery continues to go well, and here's to 25 more years...
  7. So, you are planning on finding an attorney, and having absolutely no record or notes as to you and your wife's attempts to get your copy of the video when you meet with said attorney to help him out at all? You can't simply make a log of when, what and who as to your requests and activities to date to get a copy of the video? You give permission for a video, and you are willing to put your names on a lawsuit and talk to an attorney, but a log of your activities to resolve the issue is a "of course we are not documenting..." Okie-dokey... the paralegal in me is scratching the noggin on this one, because this kind of logic is my nightmare in trying to help an attorney put together his case and doing the legal research and drawing up the complaint. It's his video. You two gave permission. He's got a ton of affirmative defenses he can use in his answer to your lawsuit. I think there are several things you could do that would likely resolve the situation without an attorney filing a lawsuit. Good luck in resolving it.
  8. Okay, what I don't understand is why you need an attorney to go to court so that you are not seen... I mean, your name would be on the lawsuit, correct? Further, wouldn't your wife be the injured party and thus need to file the lawsuit herself? It seems like there are more options to be working through before I'd even be seeking out an attorney - it just happened this weekend. The weekend isn't even over yet. You don't know if anything has been uploaded. What exactly have you and your wife done to date? Are either of you documenting each and every request and the response? As a paralegal (no, not an attorney), I think there are steps to be taken first and documented before I'd be worrying about finding a swing-friendly attorney. I think the attorneys that may be inclined to answer around here would appreciate knowing what has occured to date - being mindful that evidently this just barely happened. I hope, at a bare minimum, that it's clear now if you feel you have something to lose if your videos or photos get out that maybe it's not a good idea to have acquaintainces take video or pics. You both lost control of the issue when your wife (and you) gave permission for the video.
  9. There's a chance I would quit altogether if I were outed, but my employer didn't know. There's a difference between being outed among friends, acquaintances and family than to my employer, especially in an "at-will" state and in this economy. And the way I could see it being outed to my employer is because we are in the middle of layoffs. If somehow my counterparts knew about swinging, it could be used against me in order for another to keep their job. If quitting somehow deflected attention or would serve my best interests or the household's best interest, then I'm going to do so. I need my job more than I need swinging. At least for now. This is all supposition, of course. But it would be a reason for me personally to quit... at least until it didn't matter or things blew over, re: work.
  10. It's a public forum. Everyone has been polite in their responses. I see no "disrespectful" posts. I find it more disrespectful that you seem to be dictating how and when Board members should post. You asked your questions and you posted your thoughts; you are getting responses, even if the responses aren't what you like. Good luck in your future alternative endeavors.
  11. It's a public forum. Everyone was polite in their responses, given we don't have the entire story, and we certainly don't have your girlfriend's side of the story (or is it ex-girlfriend now?) If you post on a public forum, you accept the risk that someone might say something you don't want to hear. I recommend knocking off the finger-wagging you've got going on (which is a controlling behavior of sorts) towards the rather polite and helpful Board members and try turning the mirror towards yourself. You might just learn something. Good luck, and good luck to your moving-out girlfriend. Sounds like she needs it as much as anyone.
  12. Seriously, doesn't your question essentially just leave masterbation and marriage counseling as options? If by choice one isn't cheating or swinging, that pretty much leaves trying to resolve the issue with your spouse via counseling, with a side of masterbation. It's early, of course, but I don't see a ton of options out there besides trying to resolve the issue WITH the other spouse.
  13. Yes, in my mind, there is a difference. In my open-marriage definition, it simply means that we are open to whatever might develop from an emotional/relationship viewpoint. That doesn't mean something necessarily will, but we are open to it if it fits. However, I've got the emotional intelligence of a worm allegedly, and I truly just don't feel comfortable with a poly label when it doesn't feel like it fits at all, and not everything in my life is strictly swinging. As such, "open marriage" is a definition that seems most flexible for us and as such, it's our "label" for the time being. However, it's not a permission-based definition. Others might choose to not talk beforehand - I prefer to at least talk to my spouse before I do anything. I don't think that my preference to talk to my husband first changes the definition for us. I view solo-play as a more "strictly swinging" term and tend to view those who use "solo play" as being "less involved" from an emotional or relationship viewpoint. Just my working definitions.
  14. I don't think I'm going to declare "what is it". I've said in other threads that there would be no more agreement for these terms than there is for "swinging". I consider myself being in an open marriage because my spouse and I are open to whatever might come up, in perhaps a more emotional or relationship-sense. However, I'm not quite cut out for poly. I suspect my definition of solo play would incorporate a less involved approach. My personal definitions just denote a difference in potential involvement. Neither of my definitions are permission-based - it is a personal choice that I would discuss things with my spouse prior to any potential involvement. The problem is again, there's no firm definition for either term. It means whatever you think it should, so it's fair to say my usage directly contradicts yours, just like I didn't agree on some eles's definition.
  15. This is a prime example of why I'd rather not put a weight on profiles. I would prefer actually to put my measurements. That would be far more representative of my overall look than some stupid number on the digital scale each morning and certainly better than relying on a clothing size tag. I'd just as soon not put a weight down on a profile because there's just too much disbelief on both ends in real life; I equally hear from those who don't seem to think I don't look my weight and those who refuse to believe my weight has me in a 6 to 8 to 10 size range. I weighed 157 lbs this morning - obviously PMS and a weekend with carbs did me no favors, with a whopping 5 lb weight gain over 4 days. I am 5'7" (having lost an inch somewhere in the last 10 years). I wear anywhere from a 6 to a 10, depending on the manufacturer/designer, even with the extra bloat from carbs and PMS. If what one puts down as a weight is already viewed as dishonest or incorrect by the majority, I think to myself, "what is the point of doing it at all?" Moreover, it's difficult to remain proud of the fact that I've lost about 80 lbs, continue to work on my diet and exercise habits and thus have kept that weight off for over 5 years, and am happily residing mostly in a size 8, (with the occasional 6) when there's someone snarking about "How can she get in a 6 or 8 at 155 lbs given I weigh less and am in a size XYZ!" And yes, it's been said plenty of times to my face. Personally speaking, I don't know how anyone can use such side-by-side comparisons as meaningful basis of anything! All of us have different heights, bone structures, muscle mass, fat percentages, metabolisms, etc. and our weights all look different and size differently on each of us. And for the record, I did manage to sqeeze my fat ass into some 14s at 200 lbs; it can be done depending on way too many variables, such as the amount of Spandex in said jeans, if I laid down to zip up, etc. And I've had plenty of pictures recently where I sure felt I looked 50 lbs heavier than I actually am. Yes, there are plenty of those who are lying, both in men and women. However, others are not. And with that, I'll get off my soapbox.
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