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curiouscpl72

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About curiouscpl72

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 01/28/1972

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    couple
  • Location
    long island ny
  • Interests
    painting yoga karate military history
  • Occupation
    painter,homemaker-artist
  • Swinging Experience
    4 or so years

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    infidel72
  • Favorite Club(s)
    roberto's in commack

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  1. thanks all for the advice, as for telling me what I want to hear? no body knows my mind don't assume things....At any rate I was venting, and maybe I shouldn't use an online forum for such.I have shelved this lifestyle for more than a month now,I have not been persuing anything I have closed my accounts to dating sites etc....All I can say is we enjoyed every bit of the fun we had separately and together, and know there is a time and place for everything.I am not a stupid woman and we are not going to throw away 17 years on a whim or because there was a misunderstanding.My intention is to forgive and move on from here. where we go from here is up to us on our journey, we just have to start looking in the same direction again,forward and on our children and our future.Together. again thanks for all the words of advice, weigh what people have said carefully, was really just looking for an appropriate forum in which to bounce this off of....the written word is no replacement for a heartfelt and honest "I love you and I am sorry..."which is what I have been given, my husband and my family are a gift from above.We have weathered years of mistakes agonies and heartbreaks,this is a small chapter in a longer story. Not picking fights,we have discussed this in length, a number of times.Mind you our marriage is far from broken, maybe shaken a bit but we have been through worse and come from darker places..this man has had my back since we were children, he does not love any but me and I the same.We would not go dallying with a group or a couple right now, we have both said we would shelve this for a time....As for the lady in question, It is with pain that I cut her from my life , for there is a history with us(she and I) and to let adrift this friendship as I said causes me sadness.I seldom post on boards,I don't want to start people down a road with me,no one knows us or our history just a couple of blurbs I or he has written over six years. I think this may have been misleading it was one isolated incident where they had met without my being aware and as soon as I found out I contacted him he came home right away.Ive really only "checked on him" twice, in 17 years together,and this the one and ONLY time he has ever lied to me.which took me by surprise .I was more confused and hurt than anything else.I know he is contrite I know he will be honest with me from now on as I will with him....I am not an innocent party by far and have made my own mistakes I do not mean to color anyone's opinion or put myself in a victim's role.I claim responsibility in that I was not clear about my thoughts on their relationship I have as much a role in this as anyone else.This posting will be my last on the subject, as I feel like an ass for even posting on something that is already growing cold.....
  2. thank you- we had an open marriage where we did just that go out and got laid...but then it changed when this couple split, we would swing with, and she became his BC, it just got to be that she was leaning on him for things other than sex.I feel you are right maybe we should go out as a couple and have a good time, see if we can't get this behind us.I appreciate your comments.He did step over the line but at the same time I was behaving like a jealous wife. we will work through this just a matter of seeing where we are at when the dust settles....
  3. hey all, its been months since posting, but have been luring here and there... to get to the matter at hand...My DH and I had decided mostly because we can;t get a sitter most of the time, to try our hand at an open marriage.It was fun and exciting for me at first, and he didn't get too much action but kept saying he was a patient man, which he is.Finally he started a relationship with the female half of a couple we swing with, although now they are divorcing.This makes me very uncomfortable as she turns to my DH for all kinds of support, emotional and otherwise.This is not ok with me....they have a strong bond,and I feel it goes beyond physical tho both claim to have no interest in each other besides the sex.He waited til I was asleep one night, and told me he was going out for cigarettes then went to her house for ...well who knows his reasoning.I was awake and wondering why he would be gone a half hour to get smokes then did a bad thing by checking his facebook( by this time I was hurt by their relationship and the major thing that the attention I was craving from him he gave to her...I know dramdrama..)I saw that they had had a conversation and he was seeing her.If he hadn't lied to me I probably would have been all right with this,but now a seed has been planted in my mind that they are more than fb's especially when he sneaks around....another night he was chatting online with her claimed to be talking to someone elses and it was her(I had checked again) now this here shows my jealousy, and inability to accept them as nothing more than fb's,I am ashamed of my behavior and inability to trust him.I also said we had to stop the "open" marriage for it was jeapordizing our relationship.Next step for me was to tell him to stop contacting her...she had a couple messages where she stated she loved him and he had told her one night on the phone "luv you" which to me throwing around the l word is unacceptable.I asked him how he would feel if he heard me tell some dud I was with that I loved him he said yea i get you.But he claims they are just "friends"...she claimed she was my friend but what kind of friend can you be by telling your best friends husband you love him?I am very confused, I have stopped swinging cold no kind of relationships like that I am trying to close pandora's box.I am not sure if there is hope left in the box after I close it.I love my husband and want this marriage I am ready to stop the swinging for good, if need be.I asked him to cut all contact with the woman he had the relationship with, i felt hurt and betrayed, and now am not sure if swinging is right for us especially if it means an open marriage.has anyone else had any kind of experience with this sort of thing? and what do you do?
  4. I don't think we would stop...It isn't something I am( or my husband)ashamed of, just something our family wouldn't understand...some of our friends have "outed" us through just putting two and two together about certain behavior, and we are not really secretive among our friends.But there s the family to be concerned about, as far as being disowned or something, I doubt that but would be quite disappointed in our decision to lead such a life,and would make things quite uncomfortable, especially because we currently live with family members who are unaware.Life is tough enough without the judgement and to add some flavor and spice shall I say, as long as you harm none, do as you will......
  5. great reply! this is exactly what DH and I have embarked on,we do reveal the details of engagement on our coming together after a separate encounter...
  6. I think its human nature,as it is nature to be non monogamous in so many of the critters that we share the earth with.As thinking reasoning beings, we have an inner critic, and inner judge as well, and a deep well of abiding peace that we so rarely tap.It is a matter of juggling these and finding a way not to hold those thoughts of jealousy, that come from insecurity which everyone experiences at different points in their lives.IMHO.... Patty
  7. think that an in person approach at a club may be a way to go....Myself and my husband have been lukewarm with single men, race not withstanding, but i myself have found more success at meeting people in person at a lifestyle club. My husband and I actually do swing apart,and have been doing this about a year now (lifestyle going on six just broke into separately swinging..) I am sensitive about my body, it is not perfect (whose is??) but I have born two children and have scars, last single I was with said something to the affect "well you have the excuse that you had kids!" nice right??? So here I am sensitive about my body, as are you in a way. So I go on.....But what I am getting at is personality is the key, and timing too. From what I know of you, you are sensitive, and intelligent...I don't know what else to say that there should be no judgement in this but for preference and chemistry. If there is a racial bias, well I would walk, no run in other direction from whomever you would be courting. It isn't easy finding people as it would seem. Everyone wants sex right??? But most people have hangups they have to get past. Everyone whether or not they like to admit has that judge sitting in their brain, and the thing is not to get attached to whatever they are saying...or maybe I am talking outta my a**......good luck to you, in your travels. Patty
  8. That is AWESOME!!I so respect your faith and ability to be free with each other and desire and well...I love it.I am rooted in Christianity, I go to Church(Catholic was raised...)I also have a yen for the eastern thought Buddhism and Taoist philosophy,and I so have trouble separating from my spiritual self and physical self.I sometimes feel that I am on a darker path, but reading your words puts new hope in my heart that your vision has shown that swinging and religion are not incompatible.I have always felt an incredible sense of grace, that I am in God's light, that my faith though is sometimes only a soft glow, never is snuffed out.OK I am going to stop here because this is , like, wierd for me lol.I am expounding too much- P
  9. I am usually very confident about the way I look, but recently my self-esteem has been shaken by several people asking if I were pregnant, and well that really sux cause I'm not and won't be again since I had a tubal. I know it is in part due to the way I had dressed, I need to dress more to compliment my shape (which is an apple shape by definition). I have carried two children and had two c-sections both in my mid thirties thus the result being a belly I can't seem to get rid of. It hadn't bothered me til people started noticing, and I have put on about ten pounds after losing most of my baby weight (my son is fifteen months). Due to a medication I have started so my belly is more pronounced. Anyway, thought I'd chime in here, swinging has ultimately made me more confident but life has chipped away at that.
  10. I am so confused by all the terminology.....I think im just bi and ill go with that lol... P
  11. I'm a red head as well...have been shaving but gave it up, being fair I get real bad razor burn but hearing how folks enjoy a firebush I'll just grow it back in.
  12. I love giving my husband and whomever is receiving pleasure...I enjoy it and it is a turn on....I dont think Ive ever had an orgasm whle giving head but it is definitely arousing p
  13. It seems that my man put it out there, but I had planted the seed by telling him about mfm experiences I had had in the past before we were a couple...so it was voiced by him but we both wanted it.
  14. friends in addition to swing partners that we can all hang out with no expectations,chemistry for all considered,interested in trying out fantasies,relatively close to each other-in fact I think my husband and I have found our couple and are tickled pink purple and blue!! P&J
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