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WonderWhat

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WonderWhat last won the day on November 18 2009

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About WonderWhat

  • Rank
    100 Posts Club
  • Birthday 07/12/1968

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Greater Seattle area
  • Occupation
    IT
  • Swinging Experience
    2 yrs

Swinger Info

  • Favorite Club(s)
    Desire
  1. Have a Happy Birthday

  2. Ray Jay, you're overanalyzing! Things are fine. You're both window shopping, imagining yourselves in different situations and imagining your reactions. You're trying things on for size, and following on the analogy, you're a bit surprised when some of the seams rip and the buttons pop off. But that's good, it tells you what fits and what doesn't. And in that path of discovery, what surprises everybody the most is finding out that what doesn't fit you anymore are many of the prejudices you're examining. That's what's she's letting you know when she tells you that she "would" or "might" do something new. Try to get more in touch with what you feel, and less with what you'd do; that's what your fiancée wants to know about you. You're thinking like a man, you're looking for things to fix, actions to carry out. Think more like when you're making love: what do you feel, enjoy, what turns you on. Then analyze that and decide whether you like it, and let her know too. She wants to know that everything is still about her, and from your description, I guess it does. You want to see her participate in hot sex, just like the sexy woman she is. What turns you on revolves around her, not around mindless rubbing and exchange of bodily fluids. It's sex with her, the other people are participating too, but it's always between you two, even when and if it gets to separate room swap. You're doing fine: you're letting her set the pace. Don't get all anxious about it and just show that you're there to support her always. Don't think about the destination, just enjoy the journey.
  3. Nevertheless, there is a clear line between learning from thought experiments and learning from experience. If you assume you're learning from someone's experience that turns out to be a fabrication, then the validity of your conclusions is in question. Garbage In, Garbage Out I think that the main issue is that the central part of the narrative is false: there is no wife and no poly girlfriend. The backstory may be consistent, the description of the relationships is not. Do not assume that if A is true, then B is true just because they were written by the same person, especially if what that person says is riddled with inconsistencies. YZF, you issued a challenge: And I answered it. I notice you have not responded. It would be interesting to read your explanation regarding the poor Spanish writing skills of a purported Ecuadorean heiress.
  4. Native Spanish speaker here. Teacher of English as a second language, to boot. YYZ, your Spanish sucks. You should have gotten a native Spanish-speaking accomplice into your game and at least tried to crank out something that is not as evidently the product of a native English speaker. Your grammatical constructions shout "I'm a gringo!" Evident misuse of gender articles, misspellings with clear ties to English cognates, simple grammatical constructions used by a five-year olds, weird word ordering... If I were to point out the logical contradictions within your story, I'd write about ten thousand more words. But since nobody will pay me for that, I think I'll stop for now. I've got better things to do. YYZ, you're full of it. Julie, I think it would be a good idea to boot this impostor.
  5. In my case, Levitra has the least side effects, followed by Cialis and Viagra, in that order. I usually cut a 20mg pill in quarters (or even sixths), and with one of those bits I feel like I'm 20 years old again. No problem drinking, no stuffiness. Maybe some flushing, but that usually just makes me look like I'm turned on, which I am, all the time .
  6. Mt. Truelove, I can only add that I think there is no blame to be had here. Everybody involved tried to handle things as best they could. If there were problems, chalk them up to inexperience. We've had our episodes of jealousy, and they have usually been cleared up by communication first, backing off for a while second, and third, closing by talking about what we learned and what we would do again and what we wouldn't do. If it is something we wanted to do again, we try it in baby steps. I think that the only big miscalculation was making it a long weekend affair. In these situations, it's difficult to take that time out and digest together what's happened. If things are being held back until the end, the longer time makes things fester and accumulate. I think that you're doing well, you're both talking things over and you're learning. Most of all, you've both got a great attitude regarding learning from the experience. Just keep in mind that, for an event that lasted for more than one evening, and which had many different emotionally charged issues, you're going to be coming back to it for some time and discovering new aspects of yourselves, your relationship, your likes and dislikes. This is a good thing; I'm just pointing out that you can't expect to talk it over once and close the case, and that there will be things that you won't be aware of until more time passes.
  7. My guess? They've been having thoughts and talks about dipping their toes into the lifestyle, you and your wife came up as someone they are attracted to and are comfortable with and far away enough --geographically and intimacy-wise--, that they picked you as likely candidates for experimenting. Then they had some sort of disagreement, he went ahead with part of the plan grudgingly, she had a blast, and there's probably trouble because now that she's feeling sexy, her man is not helping her feel sexy and she's not holding back to go at the pace of the slowest half of the couple. Possible drama in the future unless they get their act together. Might not be anything serious, they might work it out, but maybe you don't want to be in the middle. Maybe have your wife and her talk?
  8. This is why we never go to a private house party without previously knowing the hosts, or at least two or three of the invited couples. We always meet people for the first time either at lifestyle clubs, or at public places for meet & greets or for first dates. Only once we're comfortable with them do we accept invites to private homes. I think that's why we haven't had these kinds of unsavory experiences.
  9. Yep. Too much of that and it's a dysfunctional passive-aggressive relationship (I should know, I was married to one). But everybody should know how to read between the lines, and everybody has a right to be like that every once in a while, women and men alike. "Every once in a while" is the operative phrase here.
  10. mwp: Excellent set of posts. As I once said to my buddies in group therapy: "It's always nice to know that you're just as crazy as the next guy." I posted about a week back about the expectations and feelings around my wife's first solo date. It didn't go through, and I'm still not sure if that was good or bad, either. I wasn't as nervous as you, but maybe only because I'm absolutely certain that I would get to know all the details. Don't know really. Anyway, your stream of consciousness is really in synch with what I've gone through myself, and with other swinger friends I've talked about it with. Interestingly, all of the LS friends that described it the way you did have been solo playing successfully for years now, while the ones that weren't as nervous, or didn't want to admit it, either stopped doing it or tend to have problems doing it. Thanks for sharing
  11. Ummm, sorry to point out more negatives, here, but if he was really feeling like a jerk, wouldn't he have gotten in the car with you and driven home instead of staying and "checking" on you? Methinks that there are disconnects going on that merit a time-out and lots of talk conducive to exploring what each one wants, where those desires intersect, and what should be done about it. Having one or both parts of a couple resent the other --and worse, without acknowledging it-- is not good.
  12. If they already are seasoned swingers, then by all means play with them if the mood and situation permits. If they're newbies, let them marinade before cooking. If they're raging vanillas trying to seduce the friends they've always had the hots for, offer to mentor them without sex involved, and tell them that once they're experienced and have their boundaries well explored, that the offer is open for reconsideration in the future. In other words, don't rush out and get a reservation. First have a nice dinner and drinks where you can talk, all four of you, during the first days of their stay. If things work out as in option #1, then get a room for the next to last of their nights in town. Don't do it on their last night, considering your friendship, things might need to be discussed the next day without the pressure of having to leave. Option #2 would mean that you can keep in touch, talk and email about it, but that you don't want to endanger the friendship by having sex with them until they're really clear about their swingerness. Option #3 is option #2 on steroids.
  13. Good to see that things are going well. I just wanted to chime in with my thought on jealousy: It's normal to have pangs of jealousy the first times you see your SO actively petting, kissing and having sex. The jealousy ends when (and if) you know that there is no danger of losing her. When she comes back to you with a passionate kiss and tells you "I love you, thank you for sharing these great experiences", and then you go home and have some of the greatest sex and conversations of your life. That's when you'll know, deep in your bones, that this is the right thing, that it will not detract from your relationship, and that it will actually make it grow. I see that you're going in that direction, and I'm glad for you. If you hadn't had that kind of reassurance, things would be going in a completely different direction.
  14. Well, assuming that the main concern about bareback play is AIDS, there's rapid tests with 20-30 minute wait times. It's somewhat pricey, but might be worth it. Anyway, the sixth-sense thing doesn't really convince us: Would the couples here have sex with shiny, happy, sexy Hugh Grant? Remember that he was arrested because of a quickie curbside blowjob with a street prostitute? I really can't imagine an easier way of getting genital herpes. Yes, we try to minimize risk, but no amount of sixth sense will be able to screen all the risk. It's a gamble we try to control with condoms, but, like crossing the street, it's a calculated risk.
  15. One of Mrs. W's wildest fantasies is to come home, see me hanging around with vanilla friends, and having me tell her to start sucking their cocks, and to tell them to help themselves while I watch. One of my wildest fantasies is to see her aroused and out of control with two guys she really has the hots for who she starts seducing while dancing. Then they fuck with wild abandon while I watch, and end up with her coming again and again while in an airtight with all three of us.
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