We did in fact meet on AFF... and I was only looking for men for casual encounters... for whatever reason there was an instant spark between us.
He was deployed only a few weeks after we met, but we kept in touch and it got to the point that he called and we IM'd every day. So, we naturally decided to move into a relationship. Yes, I knew he had interests in swinging from early on because we were very open with each other about our desires. I had never done any swinging before we met, and I in turn was interested in trying it, but was not sure I'd be comfortable with it... especially when it came to sharing with other women. We talked about all of this... many times... I think he felt that I was open enough that if I tried it I'd like it and get more into it... And I felt that it was something I was willing to try out, but if it wasn't comfortable then we could step away from that and it would be ok. Well, we were both wrong....
So, anyway, we had a good long talk tonight.... and we're working on it... yes, it's a trust issue for me... something I'll have to work on...
Yes, it's something he wants and doesn't feel he should have to give up.
To his credit, he has never pressured me to perform... but rather has left it up to me to decide who and when....
Anyways, thanks all for your responses... there is a lot of good points mentioned to think on and discuss.