Jump to content

midnite_madness

Registered
  • Content Count

    3
  • Joined

Community Reputation

15 Good

About midnite_madness

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 04/25/1971

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    M Female
  • Location
    Alaska
  1. yes, we talked about swinging being somethink he liked and wanted, but it never came up before now that it was something he wasn't willing to live without.... I really don't believe I did any iny intentional misleading... I was upfront about my fears and issues with swinging in all our conversations on the subject... Neither he nor I has ever been in a swinging relationship before this.... so it's not a lifestyle that he's been into and I've tried to pull him away from... I'm the first woman he's been with that's been willing to try it out...
  2. We did in fact meet on AFF... and I was only looking for men for casual encounters... for whatever reason there was an instant spark between us. He was deployed only a few weeks after we met, but we kept in touch and it got to the point that he called and we IM'd every day. So, we naturally decided to move into a relationship. Yes, I knew he had interests in swinging from early on because we were very open with each other about our desires. I had never done any swinging before we met, and I in turn was interested in trying it, but was not sure I'd be comfortable with it... especially when it came to sharing with other women. We talked about all of this... many times... I think he felt that I was open enough that if I tried it I'd like it and get more into it... And I felt that it was something I was willing to try out, but if it wasn't comfortable then we could step away from that and it would be ok. Well, we were both wrong.... So, anyway, we had a good long talk tonight.... and we're working on it... yes, it's a trust issue for me... something I'll have to work on... Yes, it's something he wants and doesn't feel he should have to give up. To his credit, he has never pressured me to perform... but rather has left it up to me to decide who and when.... Anyways, thanks all for your responses... there is a lot of good points mentioned to think on and discuss.
  3. I met a guy on a sex and swingers site. We started out just having casual sex. Three weeks later he got deployed overseas. We had clicked extremely well. During his tour overseas we stayed in touch and talked everyday. Somewhere along the way we fell for each other. In the midst of all of this we also shared secret fantasies and desires. We seemed extremely compatible with each other. One exception was that I knew he wanted to swing, and while I wasn't completely opposed to the idea, I wasn't sure I could handle watching him with other women. I never lied to him about my insecurities in that area. And he never lied to me about wanting a swinging lifestyle. He has since come back from Iraq, and we started off on a life together. We've attempted swinging twice with other couples. The other day that all came to a screeching halt when I told him I wasn't sure I wanted to swing and asked him if he'd leave if I didn't. Basically, after several days of tear-filled heart-breaking conversations the answer was yes, because it's something he doesn't want to give up. And I'm not willing to say yes, it's something I can accept for the rest of my life. I don't know if I really have a question at this point or just needed to vent. But, I guess it comes down to my insecurities of him being with other women. How do you make that go away? I know rationally that he's not going to leave or fall in love with the other woman... but emotionally it seems like a hurdle taller than I can surmount...
×
×
  • Create New...