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blinkey

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  • Content Count

    68
  • Joined

Community Reputation

15 Good

About blinkey

  • Rank
    Active Contributor
  • Birthday 02/14/1973

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Charleston, SC
  • Occupation
    finance
  • Swinging Experience
    feb 2006

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    blinkey
  • Favorite Club(s)
    ???
  1. Ifully agree with your list. However, in addition, the quality of pictures also makes a huge difference. Pictures with eyes closed, weird smirks, poor lighting, red-eyes, unintentional blurs, etc., just make a bad impression. Some pictures you just have to wonder, "Why is THIS in their profile???" I saw one pic taken at a bar, and the guy's tongue was sticking far out. Not a problem in general, except the tongue was a wretched yellow/white color that almost looked sickly. Maybe it was just bad lighting but who would want to be licked/kissed by that? For a photo album, there are other characteristics that I don't like that cannot show up in only a single picture, but only in a collection of pictures. For example, when none of the pictures show them together as a couple, it is hard to beleive that they are a couple. Similarly, we don't like profiles that have lots of pictures but ONLY of the woman. Are we supposed to take it on faith that he's not Frankenstein? No, thanks. Also, I have seen some profiles with more "sexy cartoon/anime" images than of real people. One or two may be ok, but dozens? Maybe if I were Fred Flintstone that'd be a turn-on.
  2. The picture "protection" on websites is superficial, like a bank with only three brick walls: looks secure, but isn't. Nothing will protect your pictures if you put them online. If it can be displayed on a monitor, it can equally be captured and saved to disk and re-distributed. I'm not trying to be discouraging, but the myth of protection seems widespread, and it's a false sense of security. When posting pictures, keep in mind that they're not really secure, and decide if they really should be online. Just to clairify, the private pics on SLS are not visible to people unless you grant access, and they cannot copy them until access is granted. Private pics are generally more protected than public ones because fewer people can see them, but they are still copyable for those whom you have granted access.
  3. If this happened, it's a terrible crime. But could you share why you think this situation is somehow related to swinging?
  4. I'm very sorry to hear that. On the other hand, if he doesn't respect you, it is good to have discovered that earlier than later. *Hug* Mr. B.
  5. It may work for unmarried people, and conversely may not work for married people. What it requires is a strong and trusting relationship. As they say, swinging will amplify what you have, and can make a good relationship better or a bad one worse. It sounds to me like you've identified two big problems already. It generally only works if you go at the pace of the slowest person, or else someone will always be left with hurt feelings or unhappiness with the situation. Also, if you don't both agree to play, then play should not happen. It happens all too often (I wish I knew why!) that Barbie marries Frankenstein. Then when a guy wants to be with Barbie, he will (selfishly) ask his partner to overlook the fact that she'll be with the monster. But "taking one for the team" is generally a bad idea, as again, someone is left with a bad experience and has sacrificied. I don't see how that can be healthy, because it would leave me with a feeling of resentment. Sure there can be problems and complications, but they require lots of communication and full understanding BEFORE you proceed. Read a lot of discussions here and you'll come to the same conclusion. Imagine all the problems you can think of and talk through them. Learn each other's limits. Discuss boundaries and vow to each other to respect them. And so on. There is a lot of great "getting started" advice on this site. Could you explain what happened a little more? You'll probably get some outstanding responses here by others, but it is proportional to the amount of details you provide. I don't like to guess what happened, but will say that your feelings need to be discussed and addressed with your partner before you continue swinging! Good luck, B.
  6. I have heard this called "LDS" -- Loyal Dick Syndrome, a problem that only the wife can seem to cure.
  7. We became active in February. So far, to date, we have only replied to the influx of emails that new accounts tend to get. Well, that has finally leveled off, and so this past weekend, we sent out 5 emails to couples that looked promising. That's a grand total f-i-v-e emails that we initiated to meet others. Today a co-worker, whom we have had over for dinner (and his wife), who we would consider friends, asked if the name "blinkey" means anything to me. My smile gave it away. Wow, I've heard of people running into people they knew, but that only happens in stories. Or maybe to people who have been active for a long time. I am still in shock. I cannot believe that one of the 5 emails landed in an office literally across the hall from mine. Oh, how small the world just became. (But what a nice talk that resulted.)
  8. We've skirted with some of those same issues, too. We have a situation in that a good friend of ours was diagnosed with cancer right around the time we started. It was a wake-up call to our own mortality, and we have really started to live life the way we wanted, rather than the way society tells us we should want to live. Going out, getting fit, it is all consistent with a new appreciation for life. (See where I'm going with this?) Surely you can find a reason to suddenly love life instead of letting it slip by! Blinkey
  9. We were wondering what everyone thought about the husband and wife each having different limits of what they will do while playing. For example, suppose you met a couple where the wife would full-swap but the husband would only give/receive oral. They're happy with themselves, and comfortable with the situation, but, as their play-mates, would you be happy too? I'm not trying to look for advice, but am trying to get a feel for how such an arrangement would be received. (This is *not* my situation by the way, but the topic came up yesterday and we disagreed. Thus we though we'd ask here.) Are most people swinging at the same level, or is it common to have different limits? Would you avoid such a couple?
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