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In2curiosity

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About In2curiosity

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  1. Sorry you are going through all of this right now. Custody and divorce are often heartbreaking for everyone involved. The best advice I can give you is to always be open and honest with your attorney. It is amazing to me how often clients hide things because they are worried that if they are honest the attorney will make a judgement and not work as hard for them to win. Next, is that as hard as it can be, try to separate your anger for your EX from what is in the best interest of your child. It doesn't take long for the courts to see who is jerking the other parent around and who really cares about the children. Be the first one to suggest family counseling, child counseling, mediation, and bend over backwards to allow the other parent to see the child. The petition about the bus stop doesn't really mean anything, anyone can petition for anything. A lot of the time when this is done the petitioning parent is trying to keep control over the custodial parent, or trying to outspend the other parent in legal bills. I hope your attorney is asking for your EX to pay his/her fees. The judge might not award them every time, but if he keeps bringing you back to court for petty reasons it will happen. Good luck to you and your family. Mrs. Me
  2. Uomo I love this topic.....and I respect what you are saying, but I am going to take the other side on this too. Every lawyer has the responsibility to give his/her client the best representation the law allows. It isn't up to the lawyer to insert his/her moral judgements about whether swinging is right or wrong, it is their job to point it out to the court knowing that it gives their client an advantage. It is up to the other lawyer to argue that it doesn't bear on the Mothers ability to parent. Mrs. Me
  3. The sperm bank scenario is much like relinquishing a child for adoption. So is Embryo donation. When the donation is done all parties contractually agree that the donor is not responsible for the end product. But in the case of the sock it gets more tricky. The mother is committing fraud and theft, but the child's rights still come before the parents rights in this matter. There is in reality an interesting article called "It is 10 O'Clock; do you know where your sperm are?" These are actual cases much like you describe in your scenarios where the bio father is forced to support the child even though he had no intention of being a father, and in some cases never even had sexual relations with the Mother. One is where the Father was 'raped' while passed out, the other is an oral sex scenario with a condom, and then there is the infamous Kansas case of the fools in the backseat. There are a thousand and one scenarios where it seems unfair for a man or woman to become pregnant and be responsible for the result of the pregnancy and they are all ethically interesting. What about when a man uses a condom he knows is bad, or if he promises to just put it in for a minute and he cums, or if he has precum land on her while basically dry humping. The woman doesn't want to be pregnant and has relied in good faith on the male to make sure she isn't. But alas she is.....should the man be responsible for violating her womb? Has he committed assault. The law to me reads that if you do not want to be a parent it is up to each individual to make sure that they are not, and scary as it may seem that means knowing at all times where your sperm is or is not. I am with VESP....I am glad I do not have a penis, and I am even more glad that I can not get pregnant anymore. (although nothing is 100%) sigh Mrs. Me
  4. All things being equal as long as she doesn't play while the children are in her care it shouldn't have any bearing. But I wouldn't want to be a swinger involved in a custody case, because this is not settled law and there are way to many people weighing in on the opinion of the best interest of the child. The "average" custody battle allows/requires social services, a Guardian ad litem and often a child therapist to report findings to the court for consideration. All you need is for one of those parties to have a bias against Mom's sexual activities and the children can go to the other party. They shouldn't allow feelings to enter into the equation but they do. There is a double standard when it comes to women and sex and it does play out in the court system. Mrs. Me
  5. Common sense would say you are correct but as someone required to take 12 continued learning credits per year in domestic law (me) and someone who specializes in Fathers rights, (again me) I am telling you that it doesn't matter what the intentions are or were. If a child is created; it doesn't matter one bit how or why. Most men/women engage in sexual relations purely for recreation, and surprise children are often the result. The law will always take the side that the bio parents are responsible for support. The only exception is when both parents relinquish rights to the child for the purpose of adoption. If I was choosing cases strictly on a win lose basis I would be on the other side of Uomo's scenario. He wouldn't win. Mrs. Me
  6. I agree that they are all stupid and should not be allowed to reproduce for the good of society. But this case was fought in appellate court. I would send you the case study but I can't remember where it is right now. But negligence didn't fly because first guy in front seat gave condom to guy in the back seat. (they should have stuck to farm animals) As for husband being presumed father in cases of chidren being born to the marriage. Yes, if husband acts as father then he is legally responsible to the child....the only exception is if he contests paternity at birth. This is settled law (now that really is an oxymoron) since most if not all states have already ruled at the highest level. A study was completed in England based on the need for RH testing even if the presumed father of a born child was negative. 25% of children born in marriage were not biologically the husbands unbeknownst to the fathers. This compels medical testing on all newborns when the mother carries RH no matter the status of presumed father. Now that is a scary but realistic thought for fathers. I think the "primitive" societies that followed the female bloodlines instead of the males might have had the right idea. Mrs. Me
  7. As an attorney you already know the answer. Bio Dad must pay child support because the child's right to support is more pertinent than how said child was created. If husband knows child is not biologically his and supported the child anyway acting in all ways like the father then he is also legally responsible for Child support if Bio father can not be found or in unknown. But if he didn't know the child wasn't biologically his there is more leeway, but only slightly. Husband's only recourse for visitation or custody is as an interested party and his chances of either are slim to none if bio parents do not grant visitation. There is a fascinating case study where two men "shared" a condom.....yes true story.....guy in the front seat used the condom, then the guy in the backseat turned it inside out and used same condom on different girl. Girl got pregnant by first mans sperm and first man is responsible to child even though he never had sex or intended to have sex with the mother of the child. Crazy world we live in but men are legally responsible for the outcome of sperm no matter how it is obtained, even in cases of fraud. Yet they have almost no rights until sperm is a child, and even then the child can be adopted without consent in many states because it is the males legal responsibility to follow "the sperm trail" (and now that I have typed this useless bit of info, I am off to sleep..gnight all) Mrs. Me
  8. We had a moment like this in our marriage but it didn't last very long. My husband saw my teenage son from my first marriage nude and realized that if the adage like father-like son is true than my EX must be part horse. He wanted to know if my EX was that big and wondered if it bothered me that I wasn't with "part horse" anymore. I told him the truth, yes he was big, yes we had great sex, but I left the marriage because he was an asshole. Telling the OP that penis size isn't a bid deal isn't hogwash, I agree that it is natural to worry about it, but it is also important for the OP to hear from women that it isn't a big deal and that his wife is not going to care. If he can't get to a point where he believes this is true then he shouldn't be swinging because it will make both him and his wife miserable if they do. IMHO
  9. You have a good point and there shouldn't be a kneejerk reaction to what you are saying. With that said, I think it is also important to look at more than a persons color when assigning risk. Black males who are NOT IV drug users are not as high a "risk" as some other segments of the population. Unaware wives of bisexual and/or gay men are one of the fastest growing segments of the population and the lifestyle does carry risks. Thinking that you can look at a person and judge whether they are a risk in itself is a form of Russian Roulette. I prefer to assume that anyone I or my husband has sex with is a carrier and take reasonable precautions. Think about it.....if a couple attends an on site club with about 200 members, it only takes one person passing the "sight" test to begin a horrendous chain of events. I have heard the argument about couples being safer but there are many couples who play with single males......and I can assume that most people who go to clubs have seen more than one couple who seem to be on a quantity versus quality mission. So for me...higher risk factors include how long they have been in the lifestyle....whether they ever go "bareback"....are they drug users.....and does the husband engage in Bi-play. That to me is much more telling than race. But that is my criteria and we all have a comfort zone, so I can't fault you yours no matter how 'off' I find it. Mrs. Me
  10. She shouldn't feel like she has to have sex with a black man to show she isn't a bigot that is for damn sure. Race is fairly simple you can see a man is black before you are naked. To avoid black men from contacting you through ads you can state white couple looking for same. As an biracial couple that wouldn't raise any flags for me. I do not find men who shave off chest and leg hair sexy.......it actually turns me off. Some women don't like facial hair.....some women are turned on. Sexual desires aren't right or wrong they just are....IMO Although in a group situation if all parties are naked and enjoying one another I can't think of a way to tell a black man that you prefer he keep his distance without it being extremely awkward for everyone. I think if you choose to partake you are basically giving the green light to all parties involved....so I would suggest not playing in a group situation where a black man is also playing. Mrs. Me
  11. Are you two going to play together? If not then I would think you are both single women going to an event together. I would think either choice would be fine. In fact you both would probably be highly desirable in a sexual sense. Mrs. Me
  12. One thing I have noticed for us is that the different websites and stories can scare the hell out of us being brand new. There is a couple who attend both clubs we are deciding to attend and they write an amazing blog of the activities and experiences they are having in the lifestyle. After reading it and also looking at some other website put up by couples in the lifestyle I was terrified as well as turned on. I love that they are so free and open, but I know I am nowhere ready for the experiences they are having......at least not yet.....and perhaps not ever. It almost made me decide that swinging was not something I am comfortable with doing. But then I realized that this is only one small segment of the swinging population and of course they are going to be more out there since it seems that exhibitionism is part of the turn on for THEM.....it doesn't mean that we or other couples need to feel the same way to have fun. I guess what I am saying is what everyone else has said.....This is what each couple decides it is....There shouldn't be peer pressure, or even the lifestyle accepted norms to find and try to fit into. We have decided that our very first and only rule at this point is that we are going to an on premise club and we are only going to socialize, flirt, and try to get to know some of the people there. Even if we are approached, or one of us wishes that we could partake, we will give ourselves the time to put some space and distance between the event to talk things through and make sure this is what we both want and are comfortable doing. If we are comfortable then we can attend the next months event and discuss what we are comfortable with doing or not doing at that event. The best advice I have gotten from this forum is that experiences should happen at the slowest partners pace. Mrs. Me
  13. We are as biracial couple and as much as the CAPS would make me cringe...it helps avoid a waste of time. Also as politically correct as the world has become I am sure there are people who feel the way that couple do (probably more in the South where we are) Honestly I would rather deal with an out-of-the-closet bigot than a secretive one any day...in every part of my life. Mrs. Me
  14. I usually orgasm during intercourse from clitoral stimulation provided by the ride. But I can also orgasm from having my breasts worshiped without any vaginal or clitoral stimulation at all. Call me crazy but I prefer being called blessed. Mrs. Me
  15. It is about making everyone happy and it isn't going to make me happy if a guy cums on my face. facelick
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