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Menage_a_Trois

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Menage_a_Trois last won the day on October 8 2009

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About Menage_a_Trois

  • Rank
    Sex is emotion in motion!
  • Birthday 12/29/1961

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Fort Worth, TX
  • Interests
    Photography/Cooking/Dancing/Meeting new people/Traveling/SEX - LOTS AND LOTS OF SEX................
  • Occupation
    Having Fun in the Lifestyle.........
  • Swinging Experience
    16 Yrs (Him)/8 Yrs (Her)
  • Anniversary
    12/24/2009

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    DoYaWannaAZ
  • Favorite Club(s)
    Haven't found a good one yet in Phoenix

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  1. We have been in the lifestyle for several years. This is a subject that we have discussed many times with people over the years. It is actually makes for great conversation. We have found that with most people that insist on condom use, when they talk one on one it really comes down to territorial issues (and insecurity). They always say it is for protection against STD's and I am sure to a small degree that is true. However they also say some other things that really boils down to some territorial issues such as some of the following..." I don't want another man's sperm inside my wife", "I don't want my husband sharing his seed with another woman, that belongs to me", "I don't want another man's cum inside me", and "with a condom there really isn't actual skin to skin contact inside of her, we only want skin to skin between the two of us, we think that is just too intimate. With a condom on then this isn't an issue". These are just a few of the ones we have heard over the years. But most when in a non playing situation and just having conversation will admit to this being a huge factor. Some have even gone so far as to say that the "only playing safe" was just an easier way of dealing with the situation without having to go into any reason. Some couples have said it really wasn't a subject that they discussed much past "we will use condoms with everyone else" because of not really wanting another man ejaculating inside of her or vise versa. That it was just widely accepted without question because of STD protection. Like I said when I started this it can make for some very interesting conversation, notice I said CONVERSATION, not converting, arguing or debating. Just good old fashion conversation. Just my two cents.
  2. We have been in the lifestyle for over 12 years. We are a full swap couple and play somewhat regularly(when time permits). All couples go through ups and downs in meeting and playing with others. We have read through this entire thread and to be perfectly honest the "problem" you are running into is really quite obvious, you are not ready to play when you meet people. You are wanting to get to know them have something click, then go home talk about it, then meet again, make sure you have really gotten to know the person/couple, then perhaps get together and play. No wonder you are not having much luck. Several people have tried politely to tell you that you are dragging things out too much, but no one is being blunt. So here it is..... MOST people that are REALLY interested in playing,(no matter what kind of play fullswap, soft swap, girl/girl, or whatever) are interested in doing JUST that PLAY. MOST couples know within 30 mins to an hour of chatting(face to face) if they are interested in playing. And that is being generous. There is nothing more you are going to learn to make "playing" more fun or special. You are also not going to learn anymore about them that will make you want or not want to play with them. So many couples when they are new to swinging have to justify what they are wanting to do by making it more than it is. They think the people have to be special to them or friends or there has to be a "real" connection". The truth be told if you ever do get to play and if you play very often you will find out one reality. Most people you play with will only be a one time thing. For whatever reason. Some will be repeats, some will become friends, but most will not. Some of the best play experiences we have had are the times when you are driving home after wards and one of you looks at the other and says " what were their names again". It didn't start out that way and it wasn't planned. But we chatted found there was an interest then went and played. I know you said you were "open" to playing on the first meet, but then you act like it is not really a possibility because it just not your real interest. It is very easy to over think all of this. The reality is until you actually play, you will never know nor understand if this is really for you and if you want to continue. No amount of reading, talking, thinking or anything else can tell you that, only an actual experience or two or three or well you get the idea. Now I am NOT saying to do anything you are not ready for, nor am I saying you should not be selective. I am also not telling you to change what you are doing, if it is right for you, then that is what you have to do. But you are getting frustrated and want to know why. You just have to accept that you are definitely in the minority in several aspects of what you are trying to do. Therefore it is going to take MUCH longer and it is going to be very frustrating if you let it.
  3. If you are handy you can purchase a smoke detector take the guts out of it and just use the housing to hide the ceiling bolt.......
  4. Well I would politely let the couple know our feelings on this and tell them it's nothing personal against them but we are out to meet other couples of "like" mind/desires... then we would excuse ourselves to continue to mix and mingle. We would make sure to always say hello etc if we run into them again but we wouldn't make it a priority to seek them out etc. We go to the club to meet couples and to play. As for their wishing they had kept quiet...I can not answer that.
  5. Well for us I'm usually the one to quickly point out that we're not interested in bi men or couples with bi-men. For us it's really something that holds no interest for me or him. He is 110% straight and I'm a 1000% wigged out by even the thought of seeing that. I don't have any problem with someone making that personally choice to be a bi-male - it's a personal choice! I however don't care to to watch it as it would be a huge turn off for me/us. We are in this lifestyle for excitement & sexual stimulation........not to doing something that will/would dimenish it! lol
  6. This is Ms. Menage, I am bi and it is a HUGE turn OFF for me...I have no desire to see it or be involved in it:hand:...so perhaps I'm the odd woman out... Now while it is a turn off for me that doesn't mean I condem or thing any man who is bi or gay is horrible it's a personal choice...doesn't make me like or dislike or think any more or less of the man...I JUST DON'T WANT TO WATCH IT lol...
  7. They are always in a different costume every month when going out and it's not even Halloween!!!!!!!!
  8. Multitasking and working on mulitple's at one time........ Ability to effectively provide post hookup debriefing skills to partner........... Party planning/Entertainment Director/Coordinator when entertaining........... I know there are more but it's been a long day and Monday has whipped my ass ........................ Pam
  9. Wonderful thread Spoo!!!!! Well even with our combined years of experience in the lifestyle we too struggle with this as well. Pepper you make a great point in that it's the 5 steps of selling.... After spending sometime with a couple getting to know more about them, their likes dislikes etc I (Pam) will usually just simply ask them, "are you guys interested in getting better acquainted with each other?" .......which I then usually offer to go see what rooms are available if we get the yes response we are hoping for! My biggest struggle is that I over think whether or not the other couple is interested........so I then to drag out the asking because lets face it nobody likes to hear no, while you understand it's going to happen, still doesn't mean you have to like it. We have found and both agree it's always more well received when the women do the asking verses the men. So Tom rarely will say anything other that the nidge toward me that he is interested........(he has this adorable raising of the brow thing he does followed by a gleam in his devilish eyes lol)..... In retrospec I would have to say I struggle more in "reading" the other couples signals as to if they are even interested than I do with asking........
  10. I would have to agree with everyone else..........Nope, it's not what I would consider FULL swap..........to me that's "if one plays, ALL play......." and it would also mean men with women with more than just oral play happening.....but that's my opinion. Pam
  11. The Hitachi Magic Wand for me - it's 100% indispensable!
  12. We will go either way, but our preference is seperate. Like everyone else has already stated it is because we can focus all our attention on our play partners and vice versa. We don't mind same room, and have done so many times. We do get a bit frustrated when we meet a couple who insist on same room, and then while playing they constantly have to look at or touch their SO, keeping their attention on them instead of who they are playing with. We have found this to be more of a territorial or insecurity issue, than just being "turned on" by watching them.
  13. I have to agree with most here that it's one of those things where there are alot who do enjoy it and get something out of it and those who wouldn't do it with a 10 feet pole.....but I think the thing to remember here is that while it's extremely fun and so of us do get pleasure from it, it's RARE that a woman is going to get an orgasm from doing it (although it can happen). And for it to really be fun she also needs to be taken care of or reciprocated for her efforts in pleasing her partner. No body said anything about this being one sided however.........it can easily go that direction without careful attention being paid to pleasuring both partners involved......... Enjoy............
  14. NEVER EVER EVER.......it's a total waste of time......... I'm with Mrs. GT and I never wear them - just find them to be a pain in the ass.....lol I do have some very pretty sets that I will wear occasionally but I just don't see the point at the club.........if we are going out in a vanilla setting with another lifestyle couple and I want to wear something that I can do a little sneak peak and teasing with then I will but otherwise not my preference...... Mrs. Menage
  15. We are very active - just currently on a break due to moving and TRYING to get settled...........we feel like a mack truck has run us over - TWICE.......
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