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ATAK

Registered
  • Content Count

    197
  • Joined

Community Reputation

15 Good

About ATAK

  • Rank
    100 Posts Club
  • Birthday 07/08/1966

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Single Male
  • Location
    Laurinburg, NC
  • Interests
    Singing, Computers, Dancing
  • Occupation
    Professional KJ/DJ
  • Swinging Experience
    8 years off and on.

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    ATAK
  1. Perhaps as a general rule, the above statement is correct. But to assume that all situations are the same cookie-cutter type is stereotypical. I have been married (10 years), had 2 long term relationships and have 4 children. I do not blame my current lack of a girlfriend on "not having it together" or "not knowing how to treat a woman". There are many factors which I won't bore you with here, but to group all single men into this category is very simplistic and fairly closed-minded. Besides, not every woman that a swinging male dates and becomes involved with is open to swinging. So just because a single man doesn't have a girlfriend, doesn't mean he doesn't "have it all together". He might just be as picky as a woman might be.
  2. Well, here's my 2 cents...I've been a single man for 2 years now, but have been in and out of the lifestyle for 8 years or so. Its been nearly 18 months since I last had a swing experience...but I've not given it up. These things are little moments in life that happen, either because of a spontaneous decision, or long-term planning. Either way, it's not something that's gonna happen to you every day. I've thoroughly enjoyed every experience I've had, and yes, I'd LOVE to have more of them, but I take what I can get and I'm happy about it. Like many other men here, I date single women regularly, and have many friends that are not in the lifestyle. Many of them don't have any idea that I swing, but it's not because I've given it up. If the situation presents itself, then I'll speak up. Given the choice between a sexual relationship with a couple, and an emotional relationship with a woman, I'll take the emotional every time. I just hope she's open-minded enough to be willing to try the lifestyle too. If not, so be it. I've had fun and I'll remember the times I've had. Men are generally insecure anyway when it comes to women. If we weren't insecure, then it'd be easy to hook up with almost anyone we wanted to (like many ladies do). So when a man meets, dates, and eventually marries a woman, the last thing he wants is another man coming along trying to steal his woman. I think this is why it's so hard for single men in the lifestyle. Married men know how single men operate because they used to be single themselves. Married men know that single men are searching too. They just don't want their wives to be the ones that they (single guys) find! Married men are acting in self-preservation mode. I don't believe married men feel they are as threatened by bi-females (which may be an arrogant assumption), plus there's the possibility of sex with more than one woman....it's a risk they're glad to take...also other couples are less threatening because there's an exchange. It's seen as "fair" to everyone because everyone involved gets something. No one's left out. Forgive me if I'm just stating the obvious... And as a side note, thank you Julie for the nice note you left me. It made me feel good.
  3. I have been on both sides of this situation, I've been approached, as well as the approach-ee. In the case of me being the one who breaks the ice, I usually try to find some common thread of interest totally outside of a sexual reference to begin conversation. I've found that this usually doesn't produce the "defensive" reaction that a sexual comment would. It also gives you time to size up who they are, what they want, their likes and dislikes and you may find out before you actually get naked with them that you really may not want to get naked with them. On the other hand, if I'm approached about swinging, I assume that the couple/person doing the asking is already interested to some degree and I'll answer any questions they have regarding sex or swinging immediately. It does not always lead to a romp in the bed, but then sex isn't the end-all to life now is it? What am I saying!!! Of Course It Is!!!! LOL :slam"
  4. Well after much thought I decided to give it a try. I figured what the hell, I'm up for trying new things, at least once. I shaved my balls, shaft, and an area 6 inches around. Hell I didn't know better. At any rate, the red bumps and rash were horrible, but I did enjoy the feel of the smooth shaved balls and shaft. So much so, that I've decided to keep shaving them, but just keep the area around it trimmed. The feel of "slick" sex is very cool. I like it very much. PS Gold Bond Medicated Cream for that rash, damn! Won't be doing that again!
  5. Lots of people have asked about my nick, and most often I get asked if it is a Turkish reference. Apparently, it holds some sort of meaning in that part of the world. It is not. ATAK simply stands for the first letter initial of each of my children in order of birth. A = Angel T = Taylor A = Austin K = Kaitlyn I've used this nick for the past 3 years and really can't think of a reason to even consider another one. I have a tattoo of ATAK on my left arm to represent my kids, so even though they don't live with me, they are always with me.
  6. No you didn't mis-read me, but my point was that if I were bi-sexual, I might have a different opinion than I do as a straight man. I agree, that it shouldn't matter one way or the other. But the difference of preference, might tend to influence one's view on cheating...Any extra-relationship sex without the other's knowledge is cheating in my view, MM, FF or MF.
  7. I suppose the main reason I see it as cheating is that I cannot see (at all) what a man gets from being with another man. This holds no fascination for me at all, and in fact I try very hard NOT to think about the possible scenario. I have been in a few MFM scenarios and am comfortable enough with my sexuality to be naked in front of other men, but aside from glancing to see how I "stack up", I have no interest in men at all. I'm sure this has a major impact on my opinion as previously stated. I certainly do not hold it against you if you prefer or are even open to such an encounter, but my preferences I'm sure sway my opinion on this subject.
  8. I have ads on SLS.com and Swappernet and on Swingfriends. I've just recently joined SF.com because I had the good fortune to meet a few of the people that frequent that site. I am a paid member of that site as well as SLS. I have not checked on swappernet or playfulswingers.com in many weeks after initially putting ads on them. So I think I'll just stick with the two I like the best SLS and SF.com. If someone responds to the other ads, I'll probably never know about it. LOL.
  9. It seems to me that there is already a term for it, even though I just found out about it recently myself (and I'm 36). If you swing and are not otherwise attached to someone then you're a single swinger. If you are in a relationship and have more than one sex partner, with your s/o's permission and knowledge then that would be a form of cuckoldry. Whether he gains pleasure from seeing you being taken by these other men or not, by his submitting to your sexual desires, he becomes a cuckold. Do a generic search for cuckoldry on just about any search engine and it will pull up texts written on cuckolds and cuckoldry. polyamory, and infidelity. My personal opinion is this; if you're having sex with more than just your partner, and your partner is not, whether you have his/her permission or not, you're cheating. If they know about it and choose not to have other partners, then I believe you should have enough respect for your partner not to do that to him/her. Otherwise it's all about you and none about them and one-sidedness like that will not last. It becomes a breeding ground for jealousy and one-upsmanship. If he is truly a cuckold and enjoys submitting to you and your partner(s), then that is another animal altogether and he also gains pleasure from the sex, even if he's not directly involved. But opinions are like assholes, everyone has them and most of them stink.
  10. This comment's been eating at me for the past couple of days. If all a guy is interested in is physical appearance, then that's a true statement, but having made my comment earlier in the thread, I kinda got the impression that John might think I was a bit shallow in my thinking, which I assure you I'm not. My position is this. Say you meet someone online and fall for their personality, never having seen them and then when you do meet, he/she falls far short of your expectations looks wise and you know almost immediately that you'll never be able to wake up to that face/body every day for the rest of your life, then what do you do? It's a hypothetical situation anyway as most people wouldn't fall for someone online sight unseen. My point, however, is that there must be a physical attraction as well as the emotional attraction in order to make a long-term relationship happen. At least for me. My first wife and my 2nd LTR both had small breasts, which may give reason to why I find larger breasts attractive, but I don't consider myself shallow for wanting to find a woman to share my life with who I not only get along with very well, but who also happens to have larger breasts.
  11. I've always been a boob man, I love large breasts. Real is better, but store bought works too. C cup or larger for me. I can't help that I find it much more of a turn on to see a nice sizable pair of breasts than to wonder where they are... With that said, I also have to agree with Vjklander, I've never met a boob I didnt like. No matter the size, but as a preference, gimme big boobs please....
  12. This is indeed a hard question. I answered cum too fast and here's why... If I am in a new scenario, or am highly turned on by a situation, I'm sure to cum at least 2-3 times in a matter of an hour or so. I can usually be engaged in other activities, like eating pussy or fingering during my recovery time which allows her to be pleased while I regain myself. At least this way we both get to cum, no matter who cums first, everyone has a good time.
  13. A most interesting response....I actually followed that.
  14. In this one sentence lies the motivation for all of my interpersonal relationships! (minus the "when servicing the same sex" part). For me, when it comes to pleasing a woman, either in the bedroom or out, I tend to think to myself, would I like this or not? Would this be comfortable to me or not? I love to give back rubs, and I'm very good at it. That's probably because I love to recieve back rubs, not only does this feel good, it gives the administrator of the rub a chance to touch the reciever in a way that is very personal. For me, that's a special thing, to be accepted into someone's "personal space" for that purpose. It gives you an opportunity to make that person feel comfortable about allowing you into their personal space. Once that person becomes comfortable with you being there, they'll invite you to be there more often, allowing you to get closer. It is this admission to their personal space which is very special to me.....now follow my thinking here if you can.....this is also a very strong reason I like tan lines. WHAT?!?!? How did he go from back rubs to tan lines? If you think about it, not everyone is allowed in everyone else's personal space, by the same token not everyone is allowed to see what didn't get tanned....so I feel like when I see a highly contrasting tan line, I'm being allowed to see something that not everyone else has seen! This gives me a large thrill and makes the encounter special for me. (ok, I strayed a bit there, I'll get back to my point now.) My point with the back rub thing was to indicate that we do for others what we want done to ourselves, because that's what we know brings US the most pleasure. We share that with others and hope that they enjoy it as much as we do.
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