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WiserNow

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About WiserNow

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    Texas
  1. Being exposed when I was younger, much less experienced and much more vulnerable might have been a major problem for me. Though I don't deliberately advertise my chosen lifestyle to everyone around me (it's easier to keep my personal life private), now that I'm older I'm not nearly as worried about it as I once would've been. These days I'm much less concerned with what society thinks about me. Of course, I'm just an ordinary guy, so no one will really care anyway, I'll never make headlines. Earlier in a separate thread I raised the question of just how much we should trust our intimate partners, whether we're really looking for friends or if casual acquaintances are acceptable. If you'd have a lot to lose by having someone else, possibly a virtual stranger, expose your lifestyle to your friends and family, you may want to re-think your criteria for playmates. Friends that you trust are less likely to deliberately try to hurt you.
  2. Several times I've rejected couples or single women because the lady had the personality or social skills of a cement block, but though I may not make a conscious effort to choose BBW, I've never rejected a lady on that basis alone and I believe anyone who does is making a mistake. I've never been one to side with the politically correct, but compatibility for me has little to do with appearance alone.
  3. Just in case the guy doesn't come through, I happen to know where you can find a substitute, teacher............*wink*
  4. I have to say that I'm a little shocked by some of the situations related in this post. I'm no prude and certainly no angel, but uninvited groping is wrong, period. It's well understood that a woman can share herself with anyone she chooses. Married women will have already discussed this and hubby's approval is usually also a prerequisite. Although many would probably think there's no harm in 'just groping', regardless of the setting if it's uninvited it's still harrassment and should be treated as such. Justification may vary among people, but still doesn't meet the requirement of obtaining permission. If I was the lady's escort I'd accept no excuses for not asking first. Having one too many to drink, assumptions based on looks, setting or suggestive movements are not substitutes for seeking permission. If he did the same thing on a public street or in a restaurant such actions could result in misdemeanor assault or sexual harrassment charges, and as far as I know women don't waive their rights by simply attending a club. If you sign any kind of agreement, be sure and read it carefully. I've said this before and I'll say it again: If I want something from a woman, I'll ask for it. I've never taken anything from a woman that wasn't freely given. If I want it badly enough, I may even ask twice. Beyond that lies a mine field; venturing into such a danger zone can't possibly mean anything good. I've been groped a few times, and even for a male it's usually not considered a compliment. The first time it's a surprise; the second time it angers me. I can understand how the ladies feel, and since I don't drink it's not likely I'll 'forget', but I can only speak for myself. Considering the unpredictable nature of a club, I'd advise against it in favor of a more controlled environment. Club security will have the club's best interests as a priority, not necessarily yours, and even if they're extremely conscientious it's still no guarantee against an unpleasant experience that could spoil your evening.
  5. Scars are to the body as personality quirks are to the character; they give us our uniqueness, help define our individuality (who NEEDS tattoos anyway?). Never saw one that offended me in any way, and I doubt seriously I'll ever meet the Bride of Frankenstein. Besides, there's a certain restraining influence.....if I ever made the mistake of pointing out someone else's imperfections, they'd have a field day with mine. I think it's safe to say, get naked and forget the scars, they're only landmarks.
  6. This is kind of a sore spot for me, I have to admit, due to a couple of bad past experiences that were no fault of mine. In case anyone's interested in reading them, here are a few of my more general thoughts on the subject. First, as others have stated before (perhaps not in identical words), a single male in an MFM threesome with married couples should always play by their rules. Make sure the hubby is satisfied with the arrangement, and then treat the lady as you'd want your lady treated while you watch. If you're not sure how a particular favorite thing of yours will be received, err on the side of caution and don't try it until you've discussed it. Second, unless some prior arrangement overrules, be assertive, confident and persistent....but NOT aggressive. If at any given point you're not quite sure how to proceed, then give the situation a quick re-assessment. I'm sure a lot more could be said about basics, but these are a couple of the important ones. As most people would recognize, they're dictated by plain old common sense. Rejections can be for any of a huge variety of reasons, but my problem has always been with those couples who accept a single male but then start imposing conditions. Rules are one thing, like I said I'll play by their rules, I'm used to that. But at some point I can't help getting the feeling I'm expected to do something to 'earn' what I want, that it's no longer a level playing field. It's my choice also, but some couples seem to be the opposite case from the single male who's only in it to get his rocks off. My goal today, as it has been from the beginning, is simply to develop a small circle of intimate friends and enjoy sex. I don't care for one-night stands any more than most women or couples do. When I find someone I enjoy sex with I like to go back for more, not just move on to the next contact. I'm not an animal, not a machine, and good memories should be built upon, not just enjoyed once and then discarded. It's frustrating to me that so many of the couples I've made contact with are more the 'bedpost notcher' type. Not long ago I enjoyed an evening with a very nice couple, and one of the things she complained about was that she doesn't hear from most single males until they're horny again and it makes her feel used. I can definitely sympathize because the same thing happens to me. This same lady ended up fitting the very description she ascribed to single males, doing exactly what she complained so bitterly about. I'm not sure she realized what she was doing, or maybe she felt somehow justified, but since our threesome the only time she's talked to me is when I spoke first. The only time she's ever initiated a contact was when she invited me to join them, but never before or since. Go figure. Overall, I've had a lot of fun and met a lot of great people, though in the end I see very few of them more than once. One thing I'd never have expected is how one bad experience can overshadow so many wonderful ones, but it happens. I try to approach each new contact with an open mind, but to completely forget past experiences would be foolish. I've found, as so many others have, that true friends are the exception rather than the rule but are still well worth waiting for. Be patient, persevere and don't lose hope.
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