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Pollyanna000

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  • Content Count

    14
  • Joined

Community Reputation

15 Good

About Pollyanna000

  • Rank
    Contributor

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    happily married
  • Location
    Orange County, CA

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    PollyandHubby
  1. A friend took one of those Crest spin brushes and removed the brush head. Instant clit stimulator. It definitely works.
  2. It's amazing...I never expected there were so many types of swing relationships on the scale. But now that I'm reading about it, I keep thinking "duh!"
  3. DBStPete, don't say that! Thank you thank you thank you! I really like what you said. All of it is true! Just thinking about it in that way proves to me that I've got my head on straight. I know that the connections will never be the same as the one I have with my husband, and I never expected that. The way I felt with my friend was nowhere near that kind of intimacy. It was somewhere along the scale you mentioned, and in an appropriately moderate spot. If I keep thinking of it as a scale instead of a black or white situation, I feel much better. I definitely learned something from your post. Thanks. curiouscpl0105k, I hope you can work out where you stand as well. It was the inner conflict that was killing me....I'm enjoying this part of myself, but the odd guilt hit me like a brick.
  4. Thank you for saying this. People say "everyone is different, do what feels right for you", etc, but then they say that the friends thing is hard to come by and more of an ideal. That makes me feel like I'm setting myself up for disappointment, and that maybe I wouldn't make a very good swinger. But saying that it's "evidently important" makes me realize that like it or not, this is who I am, and if I'm not going to be comfortable with something I shouldn't feel like a failure because of it. In any case I feel better as time goes on. I was worried that it would affect how I view sex with my husband but we shattered that today. We have been working on my friend and his girlfriend for a while - perhaps just a little more of a direct approach would actually get us results? I guess that's for another thread.
  5. Thanks again for the comments. As I think more and more on this, the more I know that sex with strangers is not what I'm looking for at the moment. I think I need a real relationship with people first. I had some great sex at the party, and I enjoyed it while it was happening...but I can't shake a certain disappointment. I mean, I had my first girl/girl experiences, my husband had his first swing with a female, and I don't even know those people! I feel like I could have had a real memorable, meaningful experience, but it was just cheap quick sex. Now THIS is what I'm looking for. Well I hope not! Part of the basic requirements for swinging is a sense of humor, right? Being able to look at a failed sexual attempt as just another silly mishap in a friendship and move on is important. Much the same way a misunderstanding or argument between friends can be gotten over.
  6. Thanks for the posts. We've been looking for off-premise stuff and it seems that there's not much near us. I guess we should go for that and drive the distance and/or spend the extra money for a membership. The online sites don't seem to work very well, but maybe it's just because we're inexperienced at this. I have to say I don't like how I feel today about what went on last night. You're right WR, it's my choice, and not all facets of swinging are for everyone. I thought that I could make this leap but I guess I can't, at least, not yet. I'm not entirely scared off though. I just want this to be more meaningful.
  7. Hi everyone, I'm very new to this, so please pardon my ignorance. My husband and I invited a male friend in a few months ago and really enjoyed it. I am very attracted to him and count him as a great friend, and had a fantastic time playing. We had two wonderful experiences and then he got a non-swinging girlfriend. After that, we slowly got up the courage to discover the online swinging community. Personal ads and chat haven't worked, so we got really brave and decided to go to an on-site house party last night. We had fun. I experienced my first girl-on-girl play, and he got his first female swing action. At the time I had no problem with the proceedings. But later on in the night I started to feel guilty - I barely knew these people's names, and I felt no real connection with them. They were nice enough, and definitely attractive (not to mention talented), but I felt that I was missing the connection I had experienced with my friend. My first reaction to these feelings is that I'm just seeing things that aren't there. I'm sure my friend didn't care about "connections" when he was having sex with me. Perhaps I'm looking for the wrong thing? Am I looking for too emotional a relationship? Is swinging supposed to be just cut-and-dried anonymous sex? Or am I right in thinking I should at least feel something for the person I'm having sex with? My husband and I agree that we'd much prefer to get to know people first and have a real friendship with them before we get naked. I know many people here say the same thing. Does anonymous sex make you feel guilty, too? Is looking for emotional attachment in swinger sex the wrong idea? Thanks for any help, I'm confused as all hell today.
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