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Girlfit

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  • Content Count

    14
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Community Reputation

15 Good

About Girlfit

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 09/10/1974

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Chicago burbs
  • Interests
    anything artsy in general (music, movies, art, theatre)
  • Occupation
    PT marketing and creative director and PT receptionist (her)/quality assurance analyst (him)
  1. Denny's. ugh. *shivers* IHOP ugh. But that's only because I don't like pancakes. Don't take me wrong, perhaps I didn't make my point very clearly. I would never discriminate someone solely based on what type of house they lived in, what kind of car they drove or what kind of job they did. There are many many low income jobs that I admire and I would most probably have quite a bit in common with those people. If I had to choose between being a friend with a multi millionaire overly paid star athlete and a "working poor" school teacher, I would most definitely choose the school teacher. There it boils down to moral integrity, personality and shared interests. I would have more in common (as far as shared interests, personal beliefs, etc) with a teacher than a professional athlete. It is just that I have PERSONALLY found in GENERAL that I have more in common with people whose income most matches our own. People with more money have more money to spend on going to art galleries, going to the theatre/opera, enjoying fine dining, etc etc. When it boils down to it, attractiveness and SHARED INTERESTS are the most important thing for me, not income. Its just that 9 times out of 10 for ME I have found that people who fit that profile happen to be people with more money. I certainly wouldn't exclude someone living in a trailer/ghetto if they were intelligent, good looking, took care of themselves and I could share a conversation with them without feeling like I was talking to a first grader. If I can't RELATE to someone on a more deeper personal level (beyond the physical), it is pointless for me to go any further with them. I should also add, that I am POSITIVE that there are many many wealthy people who would probably look at US and go *eek* "you drive a TOYOTA?!" or turn their nose up at OUR house. And I CERTAINLY don't want to be put in the same league or compared to those "boorish" sorts.
  2. "We attend a local swingers club and it is not uncommon, in fact it would be unusuall to not see female bisexual activity, but if two guys go at it they will be promptly thrown out." THAT IS HORRIBLE! head bang But you are probably right that most swingers clubs are probably the same way, but it still in *unexcusable* behavior in my book. If I saw such a thing happen, I would not hesitate to give the club owners/organizers a piece of my mind. Speaking up may not make me a very popular person, but I really don't care. I'd rather play with myself than play with a bunch of hypocritical self righteous assholes. As I have said before, swingers have no place judging someone else's sexual orientation or the manner in which they wish to play (as long as its consensual and doesn't hurt anyone). Hello! We are all in the same boat here people! The majority of the population think the swinging lifestyle in general is offensive, demeaning, ad nauseum. What gives certain close minded swingers the right to judge ANYONE? That shit just makes me furious. But seeing as it is what it is, if you are another bisexual man or a woman or couple seeking a bisexual man it makes finding partners even more difficult. If the swinging clubs and parties unfairly discriminate against openly male bisexual activity, then how are you supposed to know who is bisexual and who isn't short of asking everyone in the room? Furthermore, going out to gay clubs really doesn't work. As a person myself who is very very active in the gay and lesbian community, I know that they do not think too highly of seemingly "straight" couples cruising people in their bars. And the gay community, I may add, is ALMOST as discriminatory against bisexual men as the swinging community is. Which means, bisexual men in gay bars do not openly admit to it or show it as they don't want to face the heat from their gay peers. And I have found that the majority of bisexual men who frequent gay/lesbian bars are about 70-80% gay with only a slight preference to women (which doesn't help me out any). Such are the sexual injustices of life. It's not likely to change anytime soon but it doesn't mean I can't still be utterly pissed off about it anyway.
  3. I am on the other spectrum of that perspective, left coast couple. I am NOT saying that I would judge someone SOLELY because of income. If their personalities clicked and they were attractive, sure. HOWEVER, and I am speaking based on demographics and slight generalizations here, it is the very nature of the beast that I DOUBT I would even be attracted to (physically or personality-wise) someone who was "dirt poor" or in a significantly lower income than me and my spouse. We aren't rolling in it, I would say we are upper middle class. Someone who is "dirt poor" is LIKELY (and I AM generalizing here) to be someone who is not very educated, not very cultured, doesn't have money to take care of themselves the way they should, etc etc. We just wouldn't have anything in common with people like that and its likely our personalities wouldn't jive either. We'd be wanting to talk about literature and art and they'd be wanting to talk about NASCAR. We'd be wanting to go to dinner at a 4 star restaurant and they'd want to go out to dinner at Denny's. We live in a modest suburban home appraised in the upper 100's and they live in a trailer. I'm taking this analogy to extremes here, but I think you get my point. We'd actually feel more comfortable playing with someone well off. They'd likely to be more educated, we would have more to talk about with them, more things in common, etc. as opposed to someone poor. Now unless you're talking about the "exception to the rules" like Joe Millionaire or those hot hunky, but economically struggling model-types...
  4. In regards to bisexuality, it is a must for me. I am a complete 50/50 bisexual, I've been in a long term lesbian relationship before and I would classify myself as a pretty queer thinking, political bitch. I don't mess around with "bi curious". I don't have the time to play teacher to someone in order to get off. I want someone who knows what they are doing in bed, which is actually why I prefer having sex with lesbians (ones that have NO interest in men at ALL). In regards to men, I actually prefer bisexual men. I like to strap one on and bend a guy over from time to time and while it doesn't take a bisexual man to enjoy receiving anal sex, the majority of straight men are uptight and frigid about the idea. So playing with bi men cuts through all that. It isn't a requirement that a guy be bi, but he at least better be open to playing the way I like to. I would like to say I can afford to be choosy. Our ad says quite specifically that I am looking for hot buff bi men. It has been an eye opener to me to get responses from men whos AD lists them as STRAIGHT but in the private email they say "I'm actually bi/bicurious". Like what is the big frickin deal of just listing yourself as bisexual to begin with?! If it's ok for women to be open about it, then it's ok for men too. I realize more people have a "problem" with two men having sex than with women so many bisexual men still try to "closet" themselves. Which I think is utter bullshit. I see it this way, swingers in general have NO ROOM to discriminate or hate against a man just because he likes to play both ways. There just isn't room in the swinging world for that kind of double standard. It should be a venue where people can be their TRUE self and not have to HIDE it. ok, but that is enough soapboxing from me on the subject. So for me, bisexual women are a requirement for me, bisexual men are PREFERRED but not a requirement and if they are straight, they better not be uptight with me playing with their ass.
  5. "My advice - if writing a simple "not interested" makes you so terribly frustrated, perhaps learning a bit of Tai Chi would help." You're probably right, I could use a little Tai Chi! What I probably should've clarified is when our listing very CLEARLY SPELLS OUT what we ARE looking for (age limitations, weight, etc) and people somehow think they are the magic exception to our rule. Yes, I get a bit frustrated when we as a couple in our late 20's-early 30's CLEARLY STATE in CLEAR ENGLISH we do not want anyone older than 40 and someone 20 years older than THAT emails us. What is even MORE aggravating is when we give a simple "no thank you" reply and people have the AUDACITY to ask "well, why NOT" and DEMAND an explanation for us turning them down. As if we have to JUSTIFY our reasons to ANYONE. Isn't it one of the unwritten rules of the lifestyle that a "no" means NO? And you're very correct, personality does mean quite a bit. But the hunchback of Notre Dame could have the personality of say, I don't know, Robin Williams, that doesn't mean I would fuck him. But transversely, a guy ripped with a six pack who acts as if he's doing me a "favor" by banging me will instantly turn me away. I may have come across as conceited in my post, but honestly I really am not. And what I said about having the "right" to fuck who I want, I think it should've been understood that I meant we have the right to fuck who we want granted they would also want to fuck me/us as well. I have my physical standards and as it was so eloquently stated by someone else, we are in this as a couple to satiate our own fantasies. And part of that involves being freaky, if you will, with people who are equally or more attractive than us. In an ideal world, for us anyway, that would mean a drop dead model type with a heart and personality of gold. But that rarely happens. But we'll wait until it does. It may never happen, but we aren't going to lower our standards either just for the sake of getting laid. I certainly don't want to give anyone the impression that I am hung up on looks , but let's cut through the bullshit folks, whether or not you want to ADMIT it, looks do weigh HEAVILY for everyone when deciding who they want to play with, based on YOUR own standards. And while everyone has their own perception of beauty (which is GREAT, the world would be lonely if we all had the same ideas of what is "beautiful"), for ME, my standards are a bit higher than some. I don't think that makes me shallow, I just think it makes me honest and selective.
  6. "and chances are they aren't even there to meet anyone more than socially. Up here they are called 'posers'. A few clubs cater to them, at least one other club allows them as part of an overall swinger environment. Granted...no one is expected to meet and play everytime. The posers are the ones who rarely, if ever, get sexual with anyone. " Am new here, want to say hello to everyone! I just wanted to reply to this thread as I seem to be in a reverse predictament. So let me get this correct, if you go to swingers clubs and turn down everyone that makes you a "poser"? Arent people entitled to fuck who they want? Aren't people entitled to their own personal standards? I am not familiar with how the swinging world is in Canada, but maybe some couples are turning others down because they simply aren't attracted to anyone there?! Maybe you could clarify exactly what makes these people "posers" in your book? My ex boyfriend and I checked out a few swingers parties in our area (this was several years ago) and found the pickings to be slim. Of course we were friendly with everyone but we left largely empty handed as no one there met our standards. I guess I am one of those "beautiful" people you refer to. I am not a total hard body but I've been rated an 8 or better by most people. I'm a former internet model so I certainly don't break any mirrors. My fiance is your typical "Average Joe", definately not ugly but cute in his own way. We recently signed up for an online swingers website to meet others to play with and are starting to get very very frustrated with the selection. I would like to think that I'm not snobbish or stuck up, but I've worked damn hard for my appearance I would think I have the right to have my own personal standards for people I would want to sleep with. . I am not attracted by men who are old enough to be my father. I'm not attracted by a man who has a gut so big he looks pregnant. If I am upfront with our standards and what we ARE looking for, should it be unreasonable that we would get just a little bit PEEVED when people who are obviously NOT what we are looking for tries to hook up with us? I realize everyone's version of what is beautiful or attractive varies. But some things are just common sense. If an ad says they are looking for someone "fit" and height weight proportionate, it should be common sense that if you are a woman who is 5'4" and pushing 200 pounds you are NOT height weight proportionate! I think its unfair to dub someone a "poser" just because they aren't willing to fuck anything that moves just for the sake of fucking someone. No one is perfect (myself included!) but I shouldn't be EXPECTED to lower my standards in order to "fit in" or be "accepted" in the swinging lifestyle. hopefully I haven't ruffled too many feathers by this post. Surely not looking to make any enemies my first post in...facelick
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