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Mrs Spoomonkey

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Mrs Spoomonkey last won the day on January 9 2010

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About Mrs Spoomonkey

  • Rank
    Disney! All rides are open
  • Birthday October 24

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Married
  • Location
    Ohio
  • Interests
    Being a Bad Girl
  • Occupation
    Ethical Slut

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    spoomonkey

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  1. Excellent point. Everyone defines themselves differently in the lifestyle. As many types of swingers as there are (poly, full swap, voyeurs, MFM, FF, FMF, etc) there are ways to define yourself as well. Whose really to say as a blanket statement that if you are inactive (for whatever reason) you are or aren't still a swinger? Is it based on attitude or activity? Then what would the attitude be and how much activity? For me I don't define myself by everything I like, do or participate in. We have sex with other people when we get the chance and the stars are aligned ... but we also love to watch football, go to movies, dance, shop, travel, run, exercise. You get the point...sometimes I'm a football fan (FL Gators!) and sometimes I'm a swinger then other times I'm a runner in such events as the Indy 1/2 marathon. So if you ask me on first meeting if I am..."whatever" I'd probably answer yes I am a swinger...football nut...runner. I'm not doing any of that at the moment the question is asked but I have been and done those things...so you decide.
  2. Well I have to say as some of the others here have...whipping out your cock and laying it across my lap wouldn't get you to a room with me bad form. We always have each other backs so to speak but I have never felt the need to protect Spoo's feelings from cock sizes. Spoo is adequately endowed and has many talents in the bedroom. We usually don't know the "actual size" of a playmate until we get to the room. We go on attraction and personality during the "pre-sex" conversation. We got into the lifestyle for variety...how boring if I only played with men who had the exact same size cock as Spoo's or him with women who had the same cup size, height and hair color as me. I've had close to 10 inches and I've had below average and to be honest it's all in whether or not the guy knows what he's doing with it as well as everything else in his bag of tricks Spoo knows what he brings to the table and has never been intimidated by another man's size. So I guess in answer to your question while I always have my man's back...I don't feel the need to turn down a couple because of the guys cock size. There are too many variables...length, girth and techniques. You may miss out on something by turning down just on size, as well as cause the other woman to miss out on your SO since I'm sure there is more to him then just the number of inches between his legs. Mrs Spoomonkey
  3. Tybee...we are at an advantage compared to you. We have 3 clubs local to our area and don't "have" to travel or get hotels. The clubs range in price, clientèle and decor. We have been to two and taken the advice of friends to not bother with the other and have narrowed it down to the one that is probably middle of the road. The annual dues and nightly fees aren't bad and we bring our own drinks which we'd have at home whether we were swingers or not. Yes it does just depending on the time of year, what kind of year we're having and how much the kids are costing us I don't think so. We like to go out, dance, and have dinner or drinks with friends, so we'd be going out and doing something so why not make it something we really enjoy. When we have an over run of family or "vanilla" friend things going on then the club nights may slow down or take a back seat but that doesn't happen that often. If we make it to the club say twice a month (average) then I'd say $100 a month or less. That includes club fees and alcohol. I already have enough clothes and unless I just see something that I have to have there isn't much expense there. We are not big "toy" people so that isn't an issue financially for us either. Mrs Spoomonkey
  4. I almost am ashamed to tell this story on us but it is a good example of how "shit happens" in life. Spoo and I answer emails together so depending on schedules etc. we'll read them separately and as already discussed here...leave the little bird up so we know we have to answer it. The little "bird" trick came to us after what happened with this one couple on SLS. We got an email from them and Spoo (who is on way more then me) opened it and read it (bird reminder is now gone). He told me about the email and said he was interested and I should read their profile and then we could answer them. Well you guessed it...the stars got out of line or some cosmic jeannie made life turn crazy for us and since our "reminder" was gone we never replied to them As wonderful fate would have it in surfing around SLS, almost a whole year later, to find people we'd like to email and see if there was chemistry we ran across their profile. We have an email history with them but it only consists of their email to us with no reply. We had no excuses, no reasons as to what happened so we took the chance and emailed them. We explained that we had read their email, discussed it but then never responded because life happened and we totally forgot. Much to our surprise they got it...we met them and they were a great couple that we all hit it off with. Patience is good, understanding is good and in our case we were very lucky that this fantastic couple understood it wasn't a blow off or a rejection but a case of dealing with things in life that sometimes come before the lifestyle. Mrs Spoomonkey
  5. What we have found with the singles we have met is that the ones that do have good luck in the lifestyle have it in most areas of their dating and night life. If you have a life outside of the lifestyle (i.e. dates) and can met women at regular bars and other venues then you'll do pretty well on the swinger sites and have no trouble hooking up with interested couples. Mrs Spoomonkey
  6. Excellent post...your right it does seem to be a bit of a "well duh" but for some reason I have found in the lifestyle it doesn't seem to apply. I have found that a lot of guys think it is just a given that you are there for sex and you should be ready to head to a room. Or worse they'll get the one part right (talking to Spoo) and assume that he will just tell me we are heading to a room as if I have no say so in the matter.
  7. jdtpcouple...don't think that inexperience prevents you from posting your thoughts and opinions here or on any thread. I found what you had to say of value. It's always good to hear the same thought put another way or just to know that you are not alone in your thinking.
  8. Okay, since you know how to give a woman an orgasm the question of the thread is this...how to you make a woman comfortable enough with you that she'll want to go to a room with you and let you give her one? You can't give a woman an orgasm unless she wants you to and lets you (and is comfortable enough to let herself).
  9. You were right on with your post TNT much more concise then mine but exactly what I was trying to say. It is interesting that women who have posted to this have given fairly similar answers just worded differently. More interesting that not many women have posted to this...a little disappointing in fact. I was anxious to read what we all had to say. More interesting though that so many men have posted and instead of sitting back and waiting to learn something want to debate among themselves on whether or not a man can figure these questions out...or more so which one of them already thinks they know.
  10. I think there are several things that make me comfortable in a play situation. 1. Talk to Spoo! We have so many guys that will wait till he walks away from me or I am walking around by myself to talk to me. It makes me feel like you think he is insignificant to me and/or that I’ll sneak off with you and play alone. Sorry guys your not “all that”. Spoo is most important to me and if you plan to “back door” him or think I’m “that” easy you have the lifestyle all wrong…or at least you have me all wrong. 2. Talk to me! Seems simple enough doesn't it? We'll play pool with couples and Spoo, the wife and I will be talking and getting to know each other and the husband is like a bump on a log. Talk about anything but talk...I don't hit the sheets with someone I don't even know. 3. Flirt! Are you just in this for your wife to have fun? Are you not interested in me but she's interested in Spoo? That's what it feels like if you can't flirt a little. It doesn't have to be over the top and definitely not crude but something. I like when we play pool at the club because it makes this part kind of easy...trying to mess up shots etc. 4. Treat your wife respectfully, because I’ll notice and if you can’t treat her better than anyone in the club then why should I think you’ll care about how I feel or what I want when we get to the room!! 5. Don’t take yourself too seriously. I have the most fun with guys who are comfortable with themselves and not intimidated or trying to be “the best” guy in the lifestyle. In other words…we can have a fun time and some great sex but Spoo is the only one who rocks my world. Our best times have been when all four of us talked to each other, flirted and could laugh at the in room mishaps. (you know those unexpected things that just happen when you are trying to get four people on beds pushed together in a tiny and sometimes very warm room and you have to laugh about them). One last thing I would like to comment on is the "buying in". This is merely enjoying the moments. Ladies...know yourself! Know what you like, and what pushes your buttons. I’ve mentioned this before on the board but when we first got into the lifestyle I read “The Good Girls Guide to Bad Girl Sex”. It opened my eyes to my sexual self and increased my over all enjoyment. Eat right, work out, primp (shave all your “parts” ), take relaxing baths…but, do this for you. When I am taking care of me I feel sexy and confident. I can feel it and Spoo can see it. If you don't feel sexy in your own skin then find out why. Buy sexy clothes (ones the YOU are comfortable in) not what you think your “suppose” to wear.
  11. I have to Dito everyone here. Embrace who you are and the body you have. We've been swinging for several years and Spoo has been with women who are skinnier, rounder, smaller breasts...larger ones, blondes, red head and brunettes and each one had something about themselves that they worried about. He only noticed that they were hot!! I worried at first and yes when I slack off on my workouts and gain a few I dread the mirror as I pass by but I have learned that most people aren't interested in whether you have a flawless, scare free body. Most people are looking for chemistry and attraction and when it's there the rest doesn't really matter. One wife of a couple that we played with got nervous when we got to the room because when we started undressing she pointed out that as a child she had been burned and the skin on one of her hips showed the telltale signs of it. It didn't take long to let her know that it did not affect her attractiveness, fun personality and sexy curves of her body. Don't turn down this couple that as you said contacted you first so they must like what they see. Go for it with confidence. Mrs Spoomonkey
  12. Good question but since I can only answer for myself I'm going to get on a bit of a but remember just my opinion and my point of view. First of all I am like prettylady...99% straight and 1% bi. When we first started going to the club I had issue with a lot of the ladies that would take it upon themselves to feel me up on the dance floor or try to drag me out to dance with them. I think now that I am more well known where we go and have learned how to deal with it I don't get that as much. Do I dance with ladies?...Yes occasionally, when it feels right, when I am already out there maybe with a guy or Spoo and we split off. I also see pretty many guys dancing at our club. You don't have to dance great or even good...no one really cares just get out there and bump and grind with your girl (or any girl) it's sexy, fun, and flirty! I also get tired of the male bashing of how bad they are at this and that so us women turn bi to get everything we want. I like men...the way they smell, their stong arms, their sexy winks and looks. I love it when a guy isn't afraid to dance and in the lifestyle there are more like that then they are getting credit for. Now the foreplay issue...well I've had about 50/50 here, I prefer it but I'm not going to run to a female if I don't get it. Chance are if things are lacking there we just won't play again. :rollseyes So the bottom line to your question I don't think so but then I can't answer for everyone. From what I've seen more women are flirty with the men then the women at our club. I also have to agree with prettylady on this too about men watching and talking sports...I love Football and other than loving to dance as much as possible at the club I'd pick the pool table and game time talk over hanging with the ladies any day. Sorry girls I'm just that way, nothing wrong if your who you are. Also, I'm pretty much horny all the time and will take a man over a woman any day. I don't just get horny because I am making out with a woman and then want to have sex with a man. Mrs Spoomonkey
  13. I've been eating yogurt everyday since the last time I got BV and oddly haven't gotten it again. My OBGYN said they don't really know what causes it or how to prevent it. Yeast infections are easy, we know the causes and triggers and how to prevent them...which I can happily say I don't get those any more I hate the BV though mostly because you either get the cream to use (like monostate but not the same ingredients) or the oral which is two weeks of hell. The first thing the pharmacist said as she handed me the oral antibiotic that is used to treat BV is DON'T DRINK ALCOHOL!! I had a look on my face like "yeah right they tell you that with all drugs" but she said no I'm serious it will make you vomit worse then anything ever. Okay but we're going out this weekend. not now. I did some research and talked with my OBGYN's nurse practitioner and she told me yes it will do that to you. So I am now determined not to get them again...I'd take a yeast infection any day over that.
  14. This is pretty much your answer hands down. It's not the same as a yeast infection which can be down right painful, itchy and aggravating as hell. The bacterial vaginosis can't be cleared up by the over the counter yeast infection remedies either. It takes a different type of cream or oral antibiotic. I never got them before getting in the lifestyle so I think just the exposure to different semen, body secretions, condoms all have to factor in. A sure sign that you have it is simply the fishy smell, there is usually no itching or pain, and maybe just thicker or discolored discharge. Don't wait...go to your doctor asap and get it cleared up so things can resume to normal. Also, on a side note...every OBGYN I have ever said has told me to not douche. Just stay clean and dry, our bodies do the rest with self cleaning. Douche's can upset the balance down there and make it worse. Good luck.
  15. Now that's hot!!! I told Spoo that maybe one of the girls might ask him for a similar favor...watch for that thread if it happens and I'll be the one to post that one.
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