CAM

I just want to thank you all for the great insights and help we have received in such a short period of time. This really is helping the situation for us. Since we have never discussed this before it is helping tremendously. I feel better about asking the wife more about the subject she brought up and feel confident that we can talk about it without any pressure now. Whew...what a relief i feel and i haven't even called her yet! Thanks so much to all of you for your kindness! Sincerely, CAM (oh, and any other comments are still welcomed!)

Oh yeah, sorry, answer to the question "I don't know what the husband's relationship is like": The guys get along great. They aren't best friends but get along very well. They have several common interests and seem to genuinely like each other. We have been friends as couples for "years" now and have done things with them and their family and ours. Camping, dinner, etc. Initially i was friends with the other hubby in school (years ago) and his wife was dating him off and on in school as well so i've known her for "years" also. We all get along quite well actually but i was friends with them and introduced them to my hubby way back when. There's always that "their your friends" thing, but in reality they're his friends as well. Thanks again

Oh, the hubby and i have talked about this several times since it was brought up. The latest talk was this morning actually and it was a long talk. We have mixed feelings. I guess this brought up a bunch of things we never thought of before. It seems hubby is interested but i think he wants me to "make the decision" one way or another and that makes me nervous. I told him if the "decision" was made that it would be both of us, 50/50, and not me. If things didn't work out for some reason with us i don't want to be to "blame", and he agreed and understood. We agreed that we love each other (married 15 years, together 20) and want our lives to continue the way that they are as for our marriage, children, lives, etc. No "relationships" other than good friends with the other couple (you know what i mean). We left it at me talking to the wife again about this, but that makes me nervous. I realize she opened the door to talk about it but i feel scared to call her, kind of. ugggghhh...I NEVER thought this would ever come up in my life. I always thought "fantasy is one thing, but reality is quite another." I wish i could have someone call her for me....hehehe...jk Thanks again for all of the wonderful comments and help!

I certainly appreciate all of your replies!!!!!!! Any help here is great! My hubby said I should have been more specific, soooo, i will attempt to do so. I was hesitant to state what the wife told me they "were in to" because i didn't want to betray her confidence. Hubby says no one will know who i'm talking about so i should say. She told me that he loves her to be with another man without telling him first. When she is done she tells him and that turns him on. I was stunned actually. Never imagined it coming from them. I thought it was pretty "cool" though. Imagine that, fantasy come true! Anyway. She said he is interested in being with another woman now but she's not sure how she would be, jealous or not. She specifically told me when we were away from the guys at the ladies room. She told me not to tell anyone, except for my hubby. (I feel guilty right now saying anything actually.) The fact that they thought we were swinging with another couple already (why they thought that i'm not sure) lends itself to the idea that they thought we might be interested with them. Also, the fact that her hubby and i have a history and we are comfortable with them may have let them feel comfortable mentioning it to us. I am just so naieve that i can't be sure what to think and i'm kind of afraid to discuss it with them. I know i won't be judgmental but we have never really thought about it before, out loud at least. I think i would be more willing to try it than my hubby is, although i could be wrong about that. We E-mailed them a general, "had a great time, lets get together again" note and they responded in turn but mentioned another strip club we should go to..... I'm nervous about this whole thing, but very curious. Thanks again CAM ( and thanks to all who welcomed us...not sure we're ready for introductions yet (shy) but when, and if, we do we'll let ya know....

We have never really considered swinging before but recently the idea was presented to us by some friends. My question: We are confused, my husband and I, about whether or not we were actually approached about this or if it is our naievety or inexperience. Our good friends, known them for 20 plus years and go out to dinner, etc. with them, recently let us in on a secret that they are kind of in to different things. The wife approached me and told me about the things they have done...just in conversation i believe. But...during that conversation she said that they thought we were swinging with another couple we hang out with. My answer was..really? you did? No we are not doing that. I did answer in a very positive way and not judgmental. (did i mention we were at a strip club with this couple at their invitation?) The question is this...were they "feeling us out" to see if we were open to this lifestyle or is it our imagination? Please help! Don't want to assume anything, and don't want to lose their friendship either! They're terrific friends! We love hanging out with them, and quite frankly I had a crush on the husband when we were teenagers. Looking for answers and any are appreciated