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Cr8tivecpl

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  • Content Count

    63
  • Joined

Community Reputation

15 Good

About Cr8tivecpl

  • Rank
    Active Contributor
  • Birthday 03/19/1950

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Single Male
  • Location
    Pittsburgh, PA
  • Interests
    Writing Poetry, Photography, Skiing
  • Occupation
    IT Support & Software Trainer
  • Swinging Experience
    A few Years
  1. Here's my two cents worth - based upon my own experiences as part of a couple and as a single male: Always be a gentleman and never, repeat, never leave the husband (significant other) out of the mix...if you are going to offer to buy drinks then include him...if you are going to ask her to dance then make sure that you either directly or, indirectly have his consent...never...never assume that anything is a given. Do not say, indicate, imply, suggest, or insinuate anything...always be sure that what you say and do are acceptable before you say or do it...if you have doubts then leave it in your head. Just because she flirts or he "makes a joke" about what your prowess might be...or...it might seem like there is chemistry...doesn't mean that there is...we are all legends in our own minds and until someone else acknowledges that legend you are just 'another guy' who still needs to prove himself. Just because a couple or a single female says, "yes, let's meet" it does not give you license...it just gives you the opportunity to prove that you are worthy or, unworthy, as you will eventually evidence yourself to be. This is about building relationships...many or a few, good ones and bad, real and fake...all of them guaranteed to effect someone in some way...so, if you are at your best then your chances of being asked to return as the invited guest will be better...and, in the end, that is what you are hoping for - to be asked to come back again. In the end...treat all with whom you come in contact as you would wish to be treated and you will have, eventual, success. Do anything short of that and you too will become "that creepy guy sitting over there on the bar stool whining about how he don't get no play." That's my two cents...I'm outta here...
  2. Many songs come to mind but I prefer albums and thank gawd for CD changers... In no specific order... Marvin Gaye - "Let's Get It On" and the soundtrack from "Trouble Man" The Temptations - "Temptations in a Mellow Mood" Nora Jones - The first Album: "Come Away With Me") Van Morrison - "Poetic Champions," "It's Too Late to Stop Now: Live in L.A. (1973), "Back on Top," and "Tupelo Honey" Stevie Wonder - "Talking Book" and "Innervisions" Dave Brubeck Quartet - "Time Out" Diane Krall - anything... Robert Flack - "First Take," "Chapter Two," and ""Quiet Fire" and last but not least... John Coltrane - "A Love Supreme: Deluxe Edition" Put them on...shuffle 'em or just let them rip...a good mix for about five to six hours worth of music.
  3. Okay...let's see...I was part of the "hippie" generation (in both NYC & San Francisco); free love and "Be-In's"; lived in the village in the late sixties and early seventies; have been a part of many "apres-ski parties"; and have lived in a few co-ed houses - all before I was twenty-five. You could say that i have had my share of communal living and communal sex but, not quite sure if you would call that swinging. So, if we discount that and the time at the hottub party in MT. Tremblant back in '77 then I would have to say that I have been in the lifestyle in one-way (formerly as part of a couple) or another (like now as a single), off and on, for about six years...but more steadily during the last three. Oh I almost forgot...I am, honestly, fifty-five as of this past March.
  4. I am really not surprised... Your Type is ENFP Extroverted = 39 facelick Intuitive = 38 Feeling = 25 Perceiving = 22 and so it goes...
  5. I thought this was interesting. I took the test and I thought the color I clicked was something of a blood red. It turns out that it was Brown...hmmmm....howq convenient...LOL People who like brown are deep and meaningful types. They are sensitive to their lover's wants and desires. If you partner with one of these people, treasure them; as they are true jewels for the right person. As far as sexual encounters go, any time of the day or night is just fine! Get ready to hear I love you a hundred times a day. Brown lovers enjoy snuggling up by an open fire, and being out in nature. Even the rain is uplifting and romantic to them. They value their privacy. They like to have plenty of time to loll about when it comes to lovemaking. They are oversensitive emotionally, and don't take criticism well. If you want to make it with this color, watch your words! Later...
  6. I answered "Cool Blue" (although something a little darker like deep royale would be better) and then I thought about it afterwards and realized that I have never been with any woman, except my ex-wife, who has worn that color. So, I thought about it from two perspectives. the first was from the viewpoint of most of the women that I am attracted to...which are usually tall, somewhat athletic to average and usually red-headed, brunette with auburn/reddish highlights, or, they are auburn-haired. With that thought in mind, green came to mind. Mostly medium-to-dark in shades but not darker than say a deep emerald. The other perspective came from something that someone said about suede and I got to thinking about the colors "nude" and "chamois." But, being true to my Piscean ways, my thoughts led me astray to a vision of a tall woman in a doeskin outfit...the top was a bib type of thing with a drawstring around the neck and one at her waste and she had on this pair of doeskin chaps with fringe... OOPS!! This is a post about lingerie...never mind. I better go sit down...
  7. Congratulations! Your Hotlanta Kink Test score was 475! This was surprising...
  8. One more thing... Y'all need to get offa Sheryl's case. I am gonna be real blunt here and if it gets me kicked or booted off the site...then so be it. Who in the f%$k are we to tell another where they need to place their priorities or proclivities when it comes to receiving one between their legs. First off, they ain't your legs. Secondly, they are Sheryl's and it is her decision. Thirdly, where do any of us get off telling someone else that if we exclude a group of folks (in this case White men) that we are depriving ourselves or, we are missing out...WTF!!! Let me be the Devil's Advocate here for a sec...How many of you here prefer not to play with other minorities of one type or another...Black...Asian...Indian...East Indian...Bisexual...whatever...among those of you who answered yes....how many of you never attempted it? Don't answer, the question is rhetorical. My point is this...if I told you that you need to experience it or that just because it ain't your preference (right now or ever) then, you have some "ism" with a negative aura about it...you would be indignant and huffy and spouting off "how dare you imply" all over the place. Let he (she) who has not sinned cast the first stone.
  9. Be it known that I am not attacking LM here...I just found her (their) remarks were a good place for me to comment... It is unfortunate indeed but, at the risk of fueling some stereotype, it is not the first time that I have heard a comment of this nature. Those of you who recognize my username also will remember that I had a girlfriend (who was white) with whom I used to swing. She used to make statements similar to those of Sheryl. Like Greg, it got to be very awkward if I came across a couple that might be appealing but the guy was white...most times she wasn't in favor of it. Eventually, we did meet a few couples by accident, at parties or at clubs. In total, there were three couples - one of which we both (separately) still play with from time to time. I can't speak for the guys with whom Sheryl has had a bad experience but I can speak from my own experience. It has been about security, performance anxiety, hair-triggers...all kinds of, pardon the expression, shit. It takes a hell of a man to be willing to share his wife with another man. In a world where performance counts and failure is a death nell, you need to have your psyche on right and your male ego on straight...i.e. you need to be very sure and confident of who and what you are - as well as safe and secure in your own personal perceptions (real and imagined) of your capabilities as a male. If you aren't you will be fucked (literally...no...figuratively...a most definite yes). Our society is so screwed up with race and sex that it has gotten to a point where it permeates our everyday lives. It's in our TV shows, commercials, movies and our music...not to mention how it influences the (pop) cultural aspects of our lives... As far as the swinging lifestyle is considered, I would have to say there is a good chance. In some cases it may be and then in others it may not. In my own case it was indicative of the woman that I was with...she loved Black men and liked sex with very few white men. I have been involved in interracial relationships at one level or another for most of my adult life and one thing has been clear in almost every case. What I have encountered for the most part, based upon their experiences, in almost every situation, it has been about preference. The reasons for the preferences are as varied as the hues of their skins and the tones in the colors of their hair. So...in the end what I am saying is that preference is a comfort zone. Usually, it is predicated on needs, desires, wants, and experience - all different and all unique. Hell, isn't that why we got into swinging in the first place...to satisfy some need, desire, want or fantasy...that will bring about some preferred experience? O.K. I'm done... Surrender Surrender Surrender
  10. Okay... I have read this post and I, for a minute, thought I was reading a recent, lifestyle, biography of myself. Relatively speaking, I am going through similar experiences. There is a major difference, because I am a male I don't get approached - that much. Now, as far as going to a singles club by myself, I am doing that for the first time tomorrow (Friday). I am going to TJ's. I have heard a lot about this club (all of it good) and I figure that now is as good a time as any to take the plunge. Possibly, I'll run into a couple that I know and there is great possibility that I won't run into anyone. Whatever the possibilities, the ideas of vulnerabilty that come to mind in this kind of situation give me a second of pause. However, I am an adventurous person and I am do for something new. So, I am jumpingh into the deep end come tomorrow night. I've only visited a club once before this and that was with my now ex-partner who had much more swing club experience than myself - she has been visiting clubs and swinging for the last seven or eight years. On my end it has been about eighteen months and most of that has been as part of a couple. So, her I am like a fish fresh out of water about to go flop about. But, I digress. I think it has got to be hard for anyone to go into a swing club for the first time. I would think that the aqngst must be twice as bad for a single - especially a female. In either case both figuratively and literally you are going to be naked to the world - trying to hide in plain sight. For me, on one hand it is exciting as hell and on the other it is probably, to date, the scariest thing I have ever done. In recent years the other things that come to mind are my getting divorced after twenty years of marriage and coming into the swinging lifestyle - I have pretty much recovered from the divorce. You are right there is safety and comfort in numbers. In the case of you and your MFM desires, I think everyone was right. Develop a swinging partnership with a very open-minded secure male and then the two of you should find someone that you both can feel comfortable with and at the same time someone with whom you, especially, can feel total comfort in the area of trust. It's hard to swim laps in this kind of pool but once folks see that you are serious and not just "fucking around" they make room for you and help you to attain what it is that you want. Before that happens, you are probably going to come across a huge gaggle of assholes who are bedpost-notchers; kiss a bunch of frogs and frogettes; encounter idiots (male and female) who neither understand nor appreciate what this lifestyle is all about; and meet many a neandrathal (sp) who will think that just because they have a cock and you have breasts that you are just gonna jump all over them. Have faith, not all of us guys are like that - hell, some of us are even patient, understanding, sensitive, and unselfish. You're gonna meet some really fine couples who are of the same ilk as well. Look for us you'll find us. Until you do, find another like Tina or a couple and go have some fun until you find the kind of situation that suits what you are seeking. Lastly, and you knew this was coming, if you ever happen to be or if you are within fifty miles of Philly...gimme a shout...let's have a drink and we can share war stories and/or just get to know each other. What the hell, bring along your friend too.
  11. here is my take on this for what it is worth... It would seem that your wife has indulged you (to a point) and as a result it has triggered some things in her that quite possibly would have been better left buried where they were until sometime that it was "ready' to come out on their own. As it would seem this box has been opened and like the proverbial genie...it ain't gonna go back in. Now, you may be receiving mixed messages and you may truly desire this adventure and your wife is willing, reservedly I might add, to go along with you - under restrained duress. No relationship is worth the sacrifice of someone else's comfort - period. She is seemingly confused about how she should feel because of her life experiences and upbringing. She is perfectly content to give you what you want at home without someone else's participation - hell, by many standards, you are already way ahead of the game. She has told you that if the two of you go to a club it is play between the two of you and no one else...she is not interested in playing with anyone else...not really...despite what momentary feelings she may have experienced. You have said that she experienced what can only be seen as remorse - it made her depressive and sick. Leave it alone, try to create more magic at home and be happy with that. If and when, if ever the time comes that she "TRULY," chooses to do this, it must be wholely her decision - virtually free of any influence on your part. This may just have to remain what it is - a fantasy. Good luck...
  12. Aside from the usual... and me with another man there isn't much that I wouldn't try. I'm pretty open to anything but hardcore BDSM, anything that would be degrading to myself or someone else and my hand goes over my ass if there is a fleshy appendage coming at me...other than that I am good to go.
  13. Being a male member of an ethnic group that some have been led to believe are mythologically endowed, and thereby, alleged to have outstanding prowess, my response comes in one of three forms depending upon my mood: "ya wanna find out?" or "yes and my girlfriend's horse (a Fresian (sp) Stallion) is even bigger" or the more common response is to hit the iggy button. Thankfully, I do not get this too often. Frankly, I consider the source and don't give it anymore due than it deserves which is none. It is crude, rude and not worth the communication space that it takes up. that's my two cents...
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