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Brkshrcpl

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Brkshrcpl last won the day on October 30 2014

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About Brkshrcpl

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  • Birthday 03/02/1968

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    Couple
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    Massachusetts
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  1. Thanks, bbarnsworth, for your insightful comments. I totally agree with your assessment of where we both are and am very much following the advice of no pressure/move at the slower person's pace. I read "The Swingers Manual" cover to cover (what's the Kindle equivalent of "cover to cover"?), a lot of posts here, and other sites as well, and have made a strong effort to follow that advice. I have always told my wife that she is in total control and I will never hold it against her if she doesn't want to proceed. Throughout the entire experience, I constantly reminded her she can say no at any point. I love her to death and no sexual experience is worth jeopardizing the life we've built together. From my perspective, I think I can attribute the "chomping at the bit" as follows: my feelings/urges were unspoken for a long time, as they felt dangerous and wrong. Through the growth of our relationship and sex life, I was finally willing to share these feelings, and while she didn't have similar desires, at least up to that point, she listened, was flattered and said she was open to further discussions. Over the last year or so, we occasionally discussed it and her interest seemed to grow. The discussions definitely fueled my fantasies and when she agreed to the massage, I was so excited. When you've thought about, fantasized, pictured an event in your head for a long time, when it's over, there's a void. That, coupled with the fact that I had a week with my wife without kids, the first time in 12 YEARS, only made the void bigger when it was over. So, it was hard for me when the trip ended, as there was a void I needed to fill by directing my attention elsewhere (not the easiest for me!). I think my chomping at the bit was that screaming void that wanted to be back in fantasyland with that version of my wife. The whole experience felt like eating the proverbial one potato chip. I have since mellowed, but the desires are still there. In small town New England, those urges have to remain under the surface. Not something I love, but it is what it is. I have asked her a couple of times how she feels about the experience now that some time has passed, and each time she responds that it was positive and a nice first experience. Where we go from here, only time will tell. So, I am looking for ways to continue the journey with gentle nudges that don't feel pushy or disrespectful. Finally, thanks for your comments on the contrasting styles of adding a third. I can see the benefits and potential pitfalls of both. How wonderful it would be to have a compatible third in our local area that becomes a semi-regular! But, I get ahead of myself. I think it would help her natural fears and hesitancy if she spoke with someone who has "been there, done that". I've forwarded a few links to forums now and then. The Lifestyle ought to have a mentor program, where an experienced person agrees to mentor a newbie and they are not allowed to have sex with each other or each other's partner, lol!
  2. Got it, thanks for your insightful and helpful comments. What I really want is to try it all anyway! So many things to explore!
  3. Interesting--two very different opinions presented here. I wonder, does the difference come from the approach as to how you view the 3rd male's role? Cplnuswing's suggestion of visiting a club seems to talk about selection and options, whereas your post seems to suggest slower moving and time to get to know the person. Do you think the club approach is more for the "find a boy toy" for a one-and-done thing (less risk of emotional attachment or other similar issues) and your approach is more trying to make a connection with the person, maybe with or without long-term potential?
  4. Thanks--I do want to visit a club. We talked about visiting the Red Rooster while in Vegas, but one "activity" was all she was up for on this trip, and the massage was ultimately chosen as that activity. I would like to find a similar, large club where there's no pressure and single men are allowed somewhere in the Albany, NY/Hartford/New York City region. It's a little different being at home because we have kids, so it's not as easy and the mindset is different than when away completely on our own in a place like Vegas! That experience feels almost surreal because of the distance from home. I'm chomping at the bit to continue the exploration, but my wife is back in mom mode (she's a great mother), so I have to practice lots of patience. Plus, the holidays are coming up, which means lots of family commitments. The discussions are continuing, though. I brought it up this morning, and she was open though not jumping at the chance to move forward. I'm trying to be the tortoise and keeping my hope alive.
  5. So, my wife and I have been talking about a MFM threesome for about a year. I brought up a few scenarios as ice breakers for our trip to Vegas last week (you may have seen my earlier posts). She decided to try a sensual massage with me present. I found a really great guy through Craigslist who was everything his ad said he was (I know, right?). He's a CMT, arrived with heavy-duty table, music, oils, etc. and set up in our room at Bellagio. My wife and I talked a lot the night before about expectations and boundaries. She was cool with him massaging everything except for direct contact with her vagina/clitoris. The night before, she said she wouldn't mind me touching those areas during the massage, but the day of, she pulled back a bit. The CMT was a very good looking guy, about 30 (we're in our mid-40s). He offered to be nude or fully clothed, and they settled on him leaving his boxers on. She was nude, with a towel for light coverage. I also stripped to my boxers and lay on the bed. The massage mostly was like any other massage. Her shoulders were tight, as were her legs and glutes from the hiking we had done. He worked her good. At times, he would get a bit more sensual, including getting on the table and using his chin to work along her spine while his chest moved across her ass. She thought that was hot, hot, hot! He also gave her a really long and sensual breast massage. He didn't just grope. At that point, I joined in and we both massaged her breasts, stomach, shoulders and legs. She was face up and only minimally covered at her middle. I reached under the towel and massaged her clitoris and vulva, but she asked me to stop--she wasn't ready to go quite that far. It didn't end everything, however, and she was really enjoying herself. I could see it in her flushed face and breathing. So, we continued to massage her for a while longer. As usual for me, I was hard as a rock the whole time. When the massage was over, he left, and we made love. It was sweet and sensual (not the ramming, just watched a porno kind). It has continued to stimulate our sex for the last few days. I am really hoping it will lead to more! I was so happy to confirm my lack of jealousy and only minor insecurities (certainly not deal breakers). She has since said that it was a very nice first experience. I feel so lucky to have found such a great guy. He was so respectful of us. I only wish we didn't live on opposite sides of the country! Have others started their journey this way? I can't imagine there are many other CMT's around that are as willing, as attractive, and as talented. Thoughts or experiences? What's next?
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