dirtycountrygal

I think either my lack of explanation or the fact that I had a two year old jumping on me while writing that made that come out wrong. I am not swinging just for him. It is something I enjoyed and it does turn me on. I was just saying that my fears are irrational because I know no matter how hard I avoided this or pretended I didn't like it, it would have still happened at some point. I am just scared of something going wrong. There are no signs of anything right now and everyone involved is very happy with the arrangement, but there is always that 'what if' in the back of my mind. Like I said, even NOT trying a full swap is scary to me. What if I miss out on something great, what if he gets bored with me? Mostly irrational fears from over thinking which is something I do all too often.

Don't have time for a long reply, and I haven't replied before now because I wasn't getting email updates that there were replies for some reason. Hubby and I have not had a full swap yet, but I did have my first MFM. I am still a little bit unsure about him being with someone else. I think it is just my own insecurities. Just trying to take it one day at a time. I hope we made the right decision taking that first step, but with how strong my husband's desires were, it was bound to happen eventually. He does have someone in mind, it's a couple that we know that might be swingers...we don't know yet, but I am slowly (very slowly) getting warmed up to the idea. I think if we continue the MFM thing for a while I will be more willing to give him a turn. Thank you for all the replies. Seems like this lifestyle is very unpredictable, as is any marriage I suppose. I love this man with all of my being, so even the option of not allowing him another woman has its own set of fears for me.

I know a lot of people say that it doesn't matter why they want to do a certain thing, but for me, it does. I like to truly understand my feelings and desires as well as my husband's. If anyone has some unbiased reading for me to do that would be great. I am interested in why people swing, the effects on a marriage, whether or not conquering jealousy is a good thing, chances of getting addicted, etc. I like to thoroughly weigh pros and cons. Is he less likely to cheat or will he constantly want sex with other people afterwards? And I would also like to ask everyone on this forum if your view of your spouse changed after seeing them with another person. I know none of these questions can be answered for my specific situation but for some reason statistics ease fears for me (in all cases not just swinging). One second I am excited to try it and do something new with my husband and the next I am so scared I want to throw up. Thank you all for reading and thank you in advance for any responses.