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jeff and maude

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About jeff and maude

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    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 11/02/1977

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    couple
  • Location
    montreal
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx

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  1. Hi I just wanted to give some closure to all this. He was a passive aggressive douche who only cared about himself, his needs and his feelings. At the end of the day he broke all the rules because they were there and doing so would have hurt me so it was an easy way for him to purge himself of all the nasty and angry feelings he had for everyone in one swoop and being able to get away with it. He set me up. He was hoping that I would screw up. But then she started bullying me so he saw an even better way to hurt me. Anyway, we are splitting up because apparently it's unreasonable of me to no longer trust him and expect him to earn it back... How dare I? Thanks again to everyone for your input... It really gave me the strength to avoid falling back into the cycle.
  2. Thank you for your comments, believe it or not they help a great deal. First let me clear one thing up. I'm not assuming on her part. I was barely even paraphrasing. She literally texted things like "how else was I supposed to compete with your Barbie wife???" Anyway, after the barrage of texts, my husband complained to the agency about her having his number. This resulted in yet more texts, this time revealing that he is the only client whose number she ever took so she knows he's the one who complained. As for her getting fired. Immediately following the review, the agency owner sent us an email apologizing for her behaviour and that he had been having problems with her for some time. He then posted his defence reply on the board. That is what made me reply to his email. After reading my heartfelt letter and talking to her about it again with my photos in hand, he replied saying that what she did was "criminal" and qualified as "aggravated sexual assault". That's when she got fired. He also insisted on refunding us the 1.5 hours she was there. That explained my confusion about the time, she stayed longer and paid it out of pocket. She texted my husband that she did what she did to impress him, to make sure he liked her better because he refused to kiss her and kept trying to touch me. Which is true. So as far as she is concerned, she fully admitted that she was expecting me to be old and unattractive when she agreed to the call, and freaked out because "your wife is hotter than any of the girls i work with". If it still isn't obvious that this person had and complete jealous meltdown, I really don't know what else to say. Now to the other issue, I never gave him permission to finish with her. (And I most certainly never agreed to unprotected intercourse!) That was one of my two rules. I even told him before hand that I wasn't sure how I would react to it, but that should he decide he wanted it at the last second, I would accept it ONLY under the condition that he talk to me about it afterward. I did this because yes, my husband has spent the last 16 years living in the moment and he admits this. He admits that he's been very neglectful of my feelings since the beginning of our relationship and that he has never put my best interests first. He is also not willing to reciprocate. I took finishing with her off the menu because he took anal off the menu. (For some reason, both men and women seem to be obsessed with my back door) He deemed that he would consider me accepting anal sex from another guy cheating so to make things fair I choose him finishing with her as my definition of cheating. He also imposed a no couples rule, threesomes only, which I agreed to because I didn't want to play without him. This was very important to him. He complained that if some things weren't off limits that it would feel to much like an open marriage. He insisted on all the rules because he is insecure about his weight and was afraid that I would get swept off my feet by some hunk with a huge package. I'm sorry if I gave anyone the impression that I picked the first fight. After she left, I scooted up to him smiling and asked coyly "so? How was it?". This enraged him. He says that he hated every minute of it and was so angry that I was acting ok with it that he chose to verbally attack me. He picked the first fight and said things that I won't dare repeat. He says he didn't let her kiss him because he "didn't want that thing anywhere near his face". He looked like he wanted to punch her when she tried to kiss him goodbye which is when she stormed out of the room without closing the door. So please try to understand my confusion and alarm when he nonchalantly replied that she was "neither better nor worse" than me. When asked by the psychiatrist why he would say that he answered that he was angry and blamed me for everything that went wrong because he didn't even want to be there. Before assumptions are made, he swears that he took an illegal enhancement drug before she got there and that is the only reason she got any physical reaction from him. He only told me about this two days later because he knew that I would be mad. (I know that many of you use them but please understand that they are very dangerous when not prescribed and monitored my a doctor.) Counselling didn't help because the psychiatrist told him that he is the one who can't talk to me without making it confrontational. She straight up told him that I express myself very well and that he should use the letters I've written him as an example. He should even read them everyday if he has to. She told him that he most likely treats me this way because I'm the only person he's ever really bounded with so that makes me the only person he can take his frustrations out on. She told him that she can help him find ways to learn how to express himself in a healthy way, but that ultimately he is going to have to talk to me about this at some point. That's when he stopped going and stopped talking. Believe it or not, this rant has done more help for us than anything else. It's been 7 months because I tried to let it go until he felt comfortable talking about it but he just fell back into old patterns. He read every word of it and for the first time in 7 months he genuinely seemed to see my side of it. He said that it was like reliving it through my eyes. He did notice her erratic behaviour he just didn't realize that it was because she was evading and or shoving me, he assumed she was high on something. He did notice and was annoyed that she would not let him touch me (if he did touch me she would take his hand and put it on herself) but he was too afraid of upsetting her further to say anything, after all we did just dish out a couples rate for her plus a room. He didn't contest any details except for the "blaming myself". He said that he has no excuse or explanation for his actions other than not being able to stand up to bullies, and she was a bully. So like most victims of bullies he reacted by doing her bidding not because he wanted to but because she demanded it. He then took all his hatred for her out on me after she left. In the end he encouraged me to post this because it is the truth. He says that he couldn't bring himself to look at it this way because he was embarrassed and ashamed that he let her (and so many others) manipulate him. He says that he doesn't know why other people's opinions of him mattered so much, but that is the only reason he ignored me. He was afraid that she wouldn't like him. After it was done, he was ashamed and felt to guilty to say anything to me while she "showered". Then he started getting angrier when she wouldn't leave or shut up. He says that he despised her and wasn't the least bit attracted to her but didn't want to do anything that would make her not like him, that is, until she tried to kiss him goodbye. He says that it's my assumption that he wanted or liked anything about her that makes him angry. He gets defensive because he can't prove it by his actions and I won't believe his words because of what was said after she left. I wish it were as simple as, she was novel and he lost control, but that's a hypothesis that he won't humour. As for my memory, well it does often astound people. I'm a bit of a freak that way, but it has served me very well in both my education and career where I've built a reputation of being the person who never f@*#s up. Love it or hate it, it is my gift and my curse. It is a part of what makes me me. For the record, I wasn't mad that he broke the rules. I was happy for him until he started attacking me. He accidentally let some details slip that confirmed that there was no condom on. He said that she was so dry that it hurt his foreskin and that she was prickly from not shaving. When I asked how it was possible to feel that through a condom (out of fear for my own safety) he accused me that my obsession with weather or not there was a condom was a clear sign that I'm the one who couldn't handle "the lifestyle". That's when I mentioned my suspicion and he threw up and said that I was crazy. And yes, he gave me something that was very gross and very smelly. I just finished my second round of antibiotics to clear it up because the first round wasn't strong enough. I am waiting for new test results to see if the infection spread to my urinary track or god forbid my uterus. So I am still living with the consequences of his actions which makes it a little harder to forget the whole thing. My OBGYN advised me not to have unprotected sex with him until this is sorted out because more often than not men don't show symptoms. But he will continue to reinfect me. This just makes things even harder because he believes that his lack of symptoms means that he is clean, so I must have gotten it from the STD fairy or it's all in my head. I stopped talking about it to him months ago and he was very sad when a couple of weeks ago, after he insisted that he be present at my prenatal appointment, he discovered that I've been hiding my ongoing struggle from him. I don't know if this clears anything up for anyone. But rest assured that I am just as confused as the rest of you about what exactly happened. I never accused him of anything. I told him repeatedly that I don't care if he enjoyed himself as long as he's honest about everything. All I ever wanted was for him to be happy.
  3. Thank your for input. I will give this a day or two and delete the post since it is obviously offence to some of you. I'm sorry for sharing this after 7 months, that was just another of my stupid mistakes. My only question is... If she was such a pro, why snoop through his phone to get his number? I have the texts where she berates him because she didn't understand what he needed her for if he had me. She also went out of her way to express that I was in no shape way or form a client, just in the way.
  4. I know that I should have written this a while ago but have not been in the right frame of mind to do so. This is difficult for me because I had a bad feeling leading up to it but feel like I allowed myself to be manipulated. So here is the preface. The mr and I would talk about a FMF threesome a lot, and everything seemed fine. I have been with several women in the past and have always wanted a genuine threesome but never had the opportunity to participate in one. I have known my husband for 17 years and we have been together for 16. I am the first and only woman he had ever had sex with. I was by no means his first pick, my closest friend at time was, but we still found each other at some point. The mr has a history of catering to other people so during our talks I would bring up the potential for him to break rules when faced with someone who is a little demanding and that we needed clearly defined rules in the event that this should happen. This would cause him to begin accusing me of very specific hidden intentions concerning other men, which in turn seemed very suspicious to me considering his history of choosing other women over me in many different scenarios. The last incident to happen was while considering a MFM threesome. He was very adamant about not being interested in the least by another woman but was curious about another man. He then flipped out because he assumed that I would choose to focus on the other guy and forget about him. Ok, now my spidey senses started tingling... I'm always suspicious when wild accusation are very specific, what makes a person think that way? So I responded with " let's do the FMF threesome first, that way you can set the behavioral bar." At this point he starts backtracking and reconsidering his accusations, insisting he trusts me and that he was being silly. Here is mega mistake number one on my part. I should have put an end to the whole thing right there. But he just kept swearing that he wasn't trying to trap me, so I settled on mega mistake number two, I told him it would only happen if he proved that he could be trustworthy with another woman first. So we proceed to set all the ground rules for both types of threesomes... He had about 9 of them which I completely agreed to, and I had two (I repeat, 2) rules. 1- don't do anything you're not willing to reciprocate. 2- don't finish with her alone. Finishing from a double blow job was ok. Mega mistake number three was assuming that my first rule would somehow prevent him from braking his own rules. Here is what happened. We decided on an escort to avoid crazy emotional issues (mega mistake number four). Escorts are just as crazy and insecure as any other woman, if not more, and believe me this one took the cake! I begged mr to pick someone who was at least 25yrs old for maturity purposes. He selected a 19yr old with tattoos, piercings and blue hair thinking she would be an interesting experience. He was acting very nervous and sweaty the entire way to the hotel, so I started trying to cancel. I started begging him to cancel, saying that he looked like he was going to have a heart attack and that he didn't look right. Again we've been together for 16 years and I've never seen him like this. He kept insisting that he was fine and he really wanted to do this. I did my best to calm his nerves... I suggested we start playing a little before she arrives which he agreed to, but was having trouble getting anything more than a semi. Then comes the knock at the door. He springs up and rushes downstairs (we had a loft suit, with the bathroom/ sitting area upstairs and the bed downstairs) because he insisted that he was the man and he should greet her. I started getting nervous because it was taking a while and was about to go down to investigate when I heard them coming up. By the time they get upstairs he's completely collected and no longer sweating, but smiling because he thinks that she approves of me. She kind of shrieked when she saw me and said she wasn't expecting someone so pretty. She starts making suggestions on how to start which I'm fine with... Every time I said sure, she suggested something else, clearly trying to find something I wouldn't do. She finally suggests a bath which I hesitate to. She gets so happy because she thinks I'm shy to which I reply that it's my husband who is a little shy. She proclaims that she'll take care of that, rips off her dress (of course she has nothing else on underneath) and charges across the room, stripped my husband down and started pleasuring him. This might not seem like much but this broke 2 of his rules (being forcefully stripped and starting while the other person is caught of guard). So I panic at first because I was vehemently told that he would never forgive me if I tried to remove his T-shirt, but then calmed down because he was smiling and seemed very into it. So I walk over to him and try to kiss him. (Spidy senses in high alert) This is where things became abusive toward me. She had no intention of having a threesome. She was there to prove that she was better than his wife. She later admitted this via text messages with him. So the second I tried to kiss my husband, she grabbed me and shoved me away, she pulled my dress over my head and pulled my stockings and panties down around my knees and left me like that in tied high heeled sandals at the top of the staircase before going back to pleasuring the mr. I finally managed to get my dress off and hobbled over to them. I tried to participate and was promptly shoved back toward the bathtub. I began fumbling with my sandals and reached over to rub mr's thigh while doing so and was again shoved away. So I tried to just rub her back to which I was very violently shoved back and nearly hit my head on the corner of the marble bathtub. I looked up at my husband only to see him about to cum in her mouth when he grabs her head and says "let's go to the bed". This by the way lasted 2-3 minutes and broke yet another of his rules, he insisted that we not go more than a minute without at least eye contact, but has no recollection of anything that I was doing during this time. He admits that he didn't notice any of it or where I was in the room. They then pretty much left me like that and broke another one of his rules when he let her take his hand and lead him downstairs without me. This behaviour continued downstairs. She would not let me touch either of them. She would violently shove me away and throw herself at him. If I tried to kiss him she would shove me and try to kiss him. She would get upset every time there was any contact between us and would demand that we stop and that he go behind her where she would try to rub herself against his unprotected penis. Again, all things that he didn't notice. At one point she quickly threw on a condom and hopped on without permission so he snapped at me to get her off. This made her start crying so I blurted out that it's not her fault, she's the first woman he's been with in 16 years. (Spidy senses are now off the charts!!!) Her tears instantly disappeared and where replaced by this maniacal smile. She rips off the condom even though it was perfectly fine (and I asked her not to) saying that she has plenty and she'll just use another one. I don't like how this is going one bit so I ask my husband if we can just finish and he agrees. We ask her if it's ok for him to finish from a double blow job to which she says "no, I don't like that, but you can cum in my mouth". So, in the end she gave him the ultimatum to either finish with her alone or not at all. I tried to give him several other options (after all we did have a rule about this). He rejected me and chose to let her spit in a tissue. I panicked and made mega mistake number five. I tried to stop him from braking one of my 2 rules. I blurted out that I still wanted to see them have sex. She took full advantage of this and snaps "then you go over there" and shoved me so hard that I flew back ass over tea kettle and almost rolled off the bed (again this went unnoticed by the mr.), she then promptly scurried on to him hiding his penis with her hands. Now, I know that there was no time for her to put a condom on him but he didn't stop her 'til he was about to cum so I gave him the benefit of the doubt and temporarily put it out of mind. When he did stop her, he looked mortified... So she asked him if he wanted her to slap him to help prolong his pleasure. He said no and to just get off and finish him. Here is where my whole world begins to crash. She used her hands to hide him while he grabbed my head and forcefully pressed our foreheads together. I tried to turn to see if there was a condom and he twisted my head back 'til it hurt. He finished and told her it was good when she asked. She then got up and checked the time and said "there's 10 minutes left, I was afraid We wouldn't have time to finish because of your wife". She then went upstairs to take a 15 minute shower. During this time mr won't say a word. He was completely silent and hugging me. After 15 minutes I decided that I'm going upstairs. The shower gets turned off when we're halfway up. She was still naked, but dry. No towels were disturbed and she was rummaging through her backpack. She then proclaims to my husband that he still has 20 minutes if he would like a back rub to which he agrees. At this point I'm getting confused and annoyed about the time... I wanted her to leave so that we could talk about what just happened. So he lets her stay... She uses this time to tell him all about herself and how much she loves older men like him. I take offense to this because we're only 2 years apart and mention that... She freaks because all this time she thought I was 10 years younger. I have since then discovered that she thought she and I were 2 years apart and that mr was a sugar daddy, so she tells him that she was actually 18, I have since then learned that she is in fact 22 years old. We also discovered that instead of taking a shower she was actually going through our stuff including my husbands phone which is how she got his number to text him later on. After dissing and insulting me for the last 20 minutes of the appointment, she finally decided to leave pissed and moody... I was thinking that this was a disaster and hoping that mr agreed. But all that mr had to say was that she was neither better nor worse than me. This comment spurred a discussion in which I discovered that my partner of 16 years just had unprotected sex with a prostitute. He continued to deny this saying things like "why would she do that?" Or "I didn't notice anything", but would get nauseous and want to vomit every time I brought it up. I insisted that he write an honest review of her on the review board where he found her, but he refused. I wrote an angry review for him to get inspired. I told him that since I didn't participate that I should be excluded for the review. Instead of doing any of this, he chose to further humiliate me by posting my review and adding me to it. All he said about me was that I'm attractive. Why? As you can imagine all her johns came to her defense and made all sorts of assumptions about me... But the worst was the agency owner's comments that basically said that after talking to her he determined that it wasn't her fault that I was gross. My husband got mad at me for not letting it go... So I emailed the owner with my real name and real photos of myself along with a shorter version of what I've expressed here. The next day I get a response from him saying that after knowing her for 2 years he can confirm that she is a violent scumbag and he believes me over her. She confessed that the condom "fell off" and that she tried to hide it. That's right! She confessed that there was no condom, not my husband... He to this day swears that he didn't notice. The agency owner ended up firing her and she went to work at another agency the next day. But of course the story didn't end there... She continued to defend herself to her clients who would go and write things about me on their board and she ended up texting my husband that this was all his fault! He never should have brought his Barbie wife... How was she supposed to compete with his Barbie wife... All she wanted to do was give him something that was more special than what his Barbie wife could give him... It was obvious that his Barbie wife didn't like her and that's why she had no choice but act the way she did. So now I find myself dealing with this pain by myself. Mr was completely insensitive following the incident and claims that the 2 months spent fighting and arguing qualify as having talked about it even though he never admitted to anything during that time. He has spent 7 months pretending this never happened. He will admit to something during a fight and then deny it later, but says that he has admitted to everything and that he is sorry for it. For instance he didn't stop her because he was always curious about what another woman would feel like, but that I'm crazy if I think he wanted or liked any of what she did. How is anyone with half a brain supposed to reconcile that? I've been given the ultimatum to either let it go or divorce him because he is done talking about it. This is particularly devastating because I got pregnant with our second kid during his denial period. I am currently 7 months pregnant with a complication that prevents me from working or exerting myself, thus I am unemployed with a 3 year old in tow. I feel like I'm being threatened... Either shut up and conform or good luck. He says that he won't abandon us but that he can't live with me anymore as long as I'm still thinking about this and unable to trust him. He is unwilling to change anything about himself, and I'm no longer allowed to use his past behavior or mistakes as a reason for not trusting him because he has said that he is not that person anymore. I'm lost, I'm sad, I'm alone, I have no one to turn to for empathy. This is the only place I could think of where I won't be instantly put down. I know that no one can help me... I just want someone to hear me. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this. I am truly saddened by this... I was hoping to open up a new area of our lives to explore together not to close every part of our lives from each other.
  5. Well, we had our first experience in a group setting, and it was quite amazing. We had discussed going to a club for a few weeks and finally decided to go check out this famous one in Montreal called l’orage (storm in French). We talked ourselves into thinking nothing would really happen as it was our first time and assumed we would be too nervous to do anything. So, in order to ensure we wouldn’t just circle the parking lot and leave, we took a cab (so we can also both have a few drinks). We got there, became members while chatting it up with the coat check people which was a good ice breaker, and as we went in it turned out we were the FIRST to arrive that night.. So we sat at the bar and ordered a couple of drinks as the crowd started streaming in, Maude was giving me some sexy dances and we were getting hot and heavy with each other as we got more and more comfortable with the settings. A few hours in we decided to go see what was happening on the upstairs floor (where the action was apparently!), so we head upstairs and check out this outdoor ice Jacuzzi (basically outdoor Jacuzzi in the middle of a Canadian winter), Maude decided that this was a little insane as we both hate cold. So we continued our tour of the upstairs when we came upon the main room..the first thing we saw was a woman giving her male counterpart a blowjob completely naked and a group of guys standing around them enjoying the show….this was just the type of attention that Maude and I kind of always wanted to experience. We went to one of the beds in that room and started to make out, she climbed on top of me and I pulled her mini skirt up, as we were making out a bunch of guys started to encircle us, some were behind, some climbed onto the bed which we were on…this only made Maude hotter and in turn made me hotter, she took off her stockings and climbed back onto my lap as I was sitting at the edge of the bed and perked her ass out, a few of the guys began rubbing her and we enjoyed that!, then is when things really went from 0-100:D, before we knew it, I was fingering her, and a few of the guys were fingering her, at one point I reached down to finger her ass a little and noticed a finger already in there, so I joined in on that!, it was all very hot, finally she puts a condom on little Jeff and starts riding me, all the while guys were fingering her ass, her tube top got pulled down and they were kissing her breasts and she was jerking 2 guys off with her hands…Eventually we both came harder than either of us thought possible and she collapsed on me…Fantasy checked off the bucket list! Some observations… What really struck me was how polite and respectful the crowd of guys was, once it was over they genuinely thanked us repeatedly, at one point because of all the action, my iPhone and wad of cash I had in my shirt pocket fell out without me realizing it.. one of the guys on the bed kept it safe until we were done. Also a weird one was at one point when Maude put the condom on and was about to guide me in, apparently one of the guys was already on that!..lol, I’m not bisexual, but didn’t have a problem with that in the heat of the moment. Communication was key!!..As all this was going down (as it was unexpected), we were constantly reassuring eachother about what was happening, Maude was telling me everything that was happening behind her to make sure I was enjoying it. Well 24 hours later, we’re still in a sex daze and can’t keep off each other at home.. Simply amazing
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