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hedobandito

Registered
  • Content Count

    2
  • Joined

Community Reputation

15 Good

About hedobandito

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 09/30/1972

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    M. female
  • Location
    florida
  • Swinging Experience
    7 years
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. I want to thank each of you for your input. My post was a reaction to a long discussion between hubby and I last night. He went to bed early and the discussion was left in such a way that I felt little hope. He wants to "have his cake and eat it too". Interestingly, he called from work just now and said he is ready to stop swinging and has found us a new counselor. (I had expressed that I wasn't really happy with the one we have been going to.) Although I would like to be excited by this development, I am guarded.
  2. Ok, I'll try to put this in a nutshell. Hubby and I have been swinging for 7 years. A year ago I found out he has been cheating on me. He was setting up meets on craigslist. This escalated from video chat sex. I am not comfortable with video chat sex and didn't want him to do it without me. He did anyway. This grew into an obsession and culminated in meeting for sex behind my back. I busted him last July when he forgot to clear the history. (I knew something was wrong by the way he was acting so I had begun checking up on his internet history.) He was extremely remorseful, begged me to stay. Promised to change. Initially I made "no more swinging" a condition of reconciliation because he claimed to think that since we were swingers, he wasn't really cheating. um... yeah... but we have so many dear friends in the lifestyle that I wanted to see if we could still be swingers on MY terms (he is used to calling the shots) while healing our marriage. He agreed to try. To say it has been rocky is an understatement. He has continued to push boundaries and claim ignorance of the boundaries. Lately we have not really been active in the lifestyle. Aside from a party a few weeks ago we haven't played in several months because I just can't take the turmoil. I have decided that I want to stop swinging, possibly forever. Hubby is not taking it well at all. He is distant and brooding. He thinks I am just trying to control him. My motivation is to eliminate an emotionally charged arena from our delicate marriage. He sees only a controlling shrew of a wife who has "changed". I fear we are doomed. But, I am not a man. Am I asking too much of man who has had such freedom? Can he ever go back to being monogamous and happy?
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