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lora-adam

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    21
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15 Good

About lora-adam

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 06/09/1937

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    couple
  • Location
    California
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. Great advice. I agree. As I stated with funcoupledayton I sometimes forget why we are swinging.
  2. I agree with you. Sometimes I forget that this is about us having fun.
  3. Ive told her this before that we are not on the same page when it comes to swinging. The only reason I really want to stop swinging is because I am worried about her becoming resentful of me screwing other women. BTW when I say screwing other women lora is always with me and she does participate (touching, kissing, sex with me, oral from the other woman). I dont just leave her while I go and bang some other woman. Maybe I will just drop the subject for a while.
  4. We did talk calmly on saturday and sunday.We did not raise our voices at all (we had no choice as her parents we visiting us for the weekend). Our conversation (sat & sun) about swinging was a general conversation about why we should or should not continue in the LS and not any specific event. We did take a four month break (at her request well over a year ago) and we did not restart swinging until she wanted to.
  5. Some of the other things she has said to me. She does not have time to think about sex. She does not have the time to surf SLS or other sites. Sex is not a major thing in her life as I take care of her plenty good. She is fine with me arranging swinging events ie; dates, going to clubs parties,...
  6. She does not believe that the issues in our relationship require us to stop swinging.
  7. yes I was honest and I believe she was with me as well. She said the only issues with our relationship is my anxiety/paranoia. I told her that my concerns about one-sided swinging made me a bit suspicious and worried that she might end up resenting me in the future. I again told her that one of the reasons I want to swing is to watch her. I never brought up the revenge incident as this would have caused us to further divide. What do you mean by this? "If that is the case, and she is refusing to take a break, then there is something going on." if you mean she is having an affair I seriously doubt it as there are no signs and I mean ZERO.
  8. We both talked at great length over the weekend. Let me tell you how our weekend went. We decided to go out Friday night. We ended up going to dinner then to the swing club. When we got there we hit it off with a cute younger couple. I could see that they were interested in us and from what they were saying to us it seemed that the other woman (she seemed a bit submissive) wanted my wife to get things going. I whispered in Lora's ear and asked her if she was cool with playing with this couple. She said yes. I then told her that I think they want you to make the first move on the other woman. Well Lora never made the move. I was getting frustrated with the situation as it was getting late and the couple was loosing interest. So I leaned over and told Lora we are leaving. She could see I was irritated and we ended up getting into an argument on the way home. I told her that we need to stop swinging and the reasons why. I feel like we are only swinging one-sided. It's very frustrating when we meet a compatible couple that she does not send them signal flirting, touching,.... I was certainly flirting with her (the other woman) Lora was not flirting with the other guy or woman. If she was not interested in playing with them then why did she tell me she was? Lora does not help me with meeting people on SLS or other websites (she has actually never even looked at the sites or our profiles). On Saturday and Sunday we talked more. She told me that she does like swinging and that she isn't doing it just for me but for her as well. She again told me she is happy if I am the only one who get lucky. She then went on and said that she gets cold feet when it actually comes down to doing the deed. She says its because she doesn't feel sexy. I told her you probably dont feel sexy because you dont think about sex (she has told me that she does not think about sex at work because she is a H.S. teacher and that she doesn't want to think about her coworkers or students like that; she even goes as far as not wearing sexy panties, she wears granny panties, at work). I told her being sexy is a state of mind and if she doesn't think about sex or being sexy she wont be sexy. Lora actually agreed with me on this. She told me that she does not need to have sex with others. I told her then why are we swinging. She said because she likes the atmosphere. I made it clear to her that when we go to a swing party the goal is to get laid. Sure have fun meet new people and everything else but the bottom line is we all want to get laid. Right? I told her I was going to cancel the next swingers cruise we were going on in 2013 and she told me not too because she has so much fun on them. So anyway that's where we are. Limbo
  9. Lora & I talked a lot this weekend. She is adamant about not stopping swinging. She doesn't even want a break.
  10. I have already made up my mind about talking to a therapist. I've called several today and will interview each of them as they call me back. I don't sleep very well due to the stresses of running a company. My wife has noticed that Im more anxious we i dont sleep well after a few days. So maybe talking to a shrink will help me in that area as well!
  11. How would I find a therapist that deals with consensual non-monogamy? Would I call a therapist and ask "how do you feel about consensual non-monogamy?"
  12. Well it seems there is a consensus that I have issues. I agree. Since I have lots of free time and health insurance I will make an appointment with a therapist so I can work out my jealousy issues. As for continuing to swing. Ill let my wife read all this and decide.
  13. I agree with you. The question is how to I resolve my issues of jealousy and controlling? I dont understand "Not knocking you, but that's quite a double standard you got working there." what do you mean by double standard?
  14. I accepted her word and believed her that she did not fuck him but that was before she told me she did it out of revenge. When she told me she did it out of revenge is when my mind started racing. Now, I just dont understand how or why she wouldnt have fucked him or anyone else behind my back. Since then I wonder if she will do something else out of revenge.
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