Frzrbrn

We haven't gotten far enough along to be nervous about anything. But I imagine some type of anxiety exist for everybody. I do imagine butterflies or being nervous as just part of the whole experience. I'd even go out on a limb and say "seasoned veterans" still experience some type of anxiety.

I totally derailed my own thread...

Gonna invent it gosh darn it... I will call it "Pendulum Pleasure-tainment On Demand LLC" Maybe even get Sally Struthers to do the commercial: "Would you like to get laid more often? Of course... we all do." "At P-POD we help people connect with other compatible people as if they were 'peas in a pod'. Our clients are also our product. They come in many different styles, shapes, sizes and colors (especially your wife's favorite.)" "We also offer classes and workshops like:" - Rule breakage reconciling - Jealousy mitigation techniques - Language enrichment, focusing on the word "NO" in all spoken and sign languages (subscript mice-type: Braille cards offered for a nominal fee.) - Lifestyle Transactional Analysis (See if anyone gets this) - Single Men Profile Writing Tactics - Unicorn Hunting - Cheater Detection Methodology - or participate in our correspondence degree program for Lifestyle Message Board Administration.

Check... Write comedic dissertations and anecdotes to win the favor of the locals...

Fair enough. Things to consider. I don't have this master plan on this one yet. I mean real pain... "Holy shit, that frickin' hurt... what were you thinking." Deriving pleasure from someone else's suffering type pain, not messing around "hurts so good" type pain. But that is relative. In the case of my wife, I'm pretty sure a few smacks on the ass would be tolerated, but if it got to be too much she'd say something, or get revenge... she'd prolly' want to do the same to him. Biting, not my thing but I guess it just depends. I'm open to new things, but I don't want to be bruised afterwards. I'm pretty certain my wife doesn't either. Anywhere. the coffee shops and casual dining places seems safe enough. Bar? sure why not.

Understood. I think limits will evolve/contract/expand as experiences is gathered. "I was ok with ___ but now it makes me uncomfortable. That thing I said I'd never do, I'd like to try it now." Well DAMNIT!!! I was hoping to come in here and be a pioneer! I will settle for being like everyone else... THIS TIME. Well from what I have read so far from various places: AFF is for bottom feeders that only like to like to lick the inside of the fish tank. SLS has an ok reputation. Craigslist is where you go if you want pic hunter to post your goods on stickitinmeandbreakitoff.com Clubs come in many flavors and depending on the location may offer 1000 levels of participation (prizes not redeemable for cash, no purchase necessary, void where prohibited.) I was actually hoping for something like Dominos. Order on-line and delivery in 30 minutes or less. "One Male, thin crust, average "manhood", hold the back hair. One Female, pan crust, the works with extra sauce please." I'm thinking a combination of online and real legwork (going places, meeting people) If there isn't any chemistry it won't matter where a couple is found, right? I don't think any of that is expressly been forbidden, but you have to start somewhere and adapt over time so that comfort level gauge stays in the green.

Chicup for President 2012....

Totally new. No experience in this arena. Dabbled in lots of stuff with the wife and over the years of getting to know her and her me we're exploring possibilities.

Maybe I was being a bit dramatic. We haven't compiled an official list of "must haves" involving another couple. I'm sure some of it should be implied, part of the work I do is process engineering so it's is in my blood to try and classify and define things as best as I can (even the undefinable has been classified as such :P) Drug free Disease free Appearance isn't everything (personality goes a long way too) Any perceived or real psychological imbalance is a deal breaker Out for a good time, yet patient and can empathize (for us newbies) Don't wanna "fuck" 13 seconds after meeting... I really dig the meet first somewhere socially and see if there is chemistry schedule something later (read that somewhere here) Sexually: no bodily waste, no (intentional) pain, no (intentional) humiliation or degrading activities. That's about it... if all parties are ok with most anything else then it's fair game (just about.)

Well... To state it simply: Through our communication and preliminary rules / boundaries that we have set or are setting this is what we feel will work for us... a couple for our first adventure. And I agree with you 100% about expectations: We have none. We'd like to have a great time and enjoy ourselves though :P

I found truth and glimmers of wisdom in almost every post (as I see them) and wanted to throw a few things in the mix. I'm not the "jealous" type. I really believe that, but I can't account for every situation, nuance, scenario, condition, event that could ever happen and say 100% "I'll never get jealous"... I've never been involved with anything close to swinging and if put in that situation I may be shown a revelation about myself and literally explode from jealousy (who really knows until they have faced or experienced the event). That doesn't mean my thoughts or opinions are invalidated. And if I can't do it, there are others who can't either. With that being said there are even others that can attest to their own experiences and say they never get jealous about anything. Lovemaking / Sex / Fucking / whatever is relative. Hypothetically: You're an observer in my bedroom and you witness me and my wife doing one of the following (making love, having sex, plain ole' fuckin', raunchy-crazy-tribal-frenzy-fucking-with-light-sabres-and-french-onion-dip-sex [really intense stuff]...) You could classify it as it relates to your life. But to me and my wife the "raunchy-crazy-tribal-frenzy-fucking-with-light-sabres-and-french-onion-dip-sex" may be making love in our estimation and anything else is just "sex" while to you it's it may be repulsive or too obscene for the human eye... Either way everything is relative. Everything... The kicker is how feelings are received and tendered by a person's partner...

So couple "A" (my wife and I) is sexually adventurous (from my/our point of view). We've been trying to invent new games, and things to do and ways to do them as some things get stale. We go back to older/stale things and they are quasi-new again when to current arsenal is "blah." We have kids and these stupid things called jobs that put a damper on timetables and locations. So we are pretty much limited to playing (as she calls it) in the evenings/nights and confined to our bedroom. From lingerie, high heels (that smack of "You know what I'm doing when I wear these." if they were ever worn in public.) Various sexual devices (toys etc from mundane to almost extreme.) I've even put together plans for a machine (just need the Department of Wife to allocate financing to build it.) No holds barred, if she/we/I want to try something it is at least attempted --- "Wow, they did that so easily in the instructional video... Who the hell can contort in that position!?" or "You want to put that where?!" We got into this discussion years ago during sex one night "Tell me your dirtiest fantasy." she comes back with something that was the epitome of NOT dirty and hardly a fantasy. So I retort "Yea, ok... I KNOW YOU... Don't forget I'm your husband and happen to know all the stuff you have done sexually in recent years, and you've told me about your youthful indiscretions. Reset, try again." She says "I want to have 5 guys all take turns and come all over and in me." Holy smokes, that's pretty dirty and fantastic. Before a platoon of guys reply and say "I'm well versed in this craft, PM me and it can be arranged." We're not interested. The sheer amount of labor involved to even begin to explore making her fantasy a reality is so diametrically opposite of reality (STDs, too many rules, background checks, douche bag testing done by myself etc..) In fantasy land is where that one stays. The point is, that revelation opened up a doorway to new stuff in the bedroom. We talked about all sorts of scenarios and what ifs. We thought about MFMs, MFFs and finally settled that the most "fair/logical" thing to do (IF WE WERE TO EVER DO IT) would be with a couple. That's not to say the other stuff is out of the question, but a "first experience" whenever that might happen (once again IF it happens) would be an ideal thing. Equal terms in the equation balance/null each other out. Let's assume all the following is 100% ship shape and is air tight: -Tremendous attention to detail as it relates to rules/boundaries between my wife and I [and the other couple] that are clearly understood and 100% agreed upon, fair and balanced. (whatever those are: No kissing, has to be in same room, must wear clown noses and big red shoes... all of that.) - Whatever expectations exist are at least reasonable. Civility, good manners and if things do get really exotic that everyone consents and doesn't "go along to get along". I think that finding a couple that is sexually compatible with my wife and I is going to be like finding a way to power cars with unicorn farts... (Really difficult to say the least.) BUT... I imagine if we were to seriously start looking that would be an adventure in itself... Going to these places some of you have mentioned in other posts would be really "wow"... to participate even if our participation is just between the two of us (others might be watching ) and just see what happens. Maybe my attempt to add a comedic element was off base, but that's me. Input welcome of course even if it is critical. Regards.

Touche'

I was going to reply, and I kept backspacing my paragraphs trying to be polite. Truncated version: "It's cheating... You've got a chip on your shoulder... If you can sleep at night while maintaining the lie no forum reply from random person X "that lie about their true selves" is going to be of any value or insight to you.

The wife and I haven't experienced this, but she told me about her fantasy of having another guy with us. I don't know what turned me on more the fact that she trusted me enough to share her fantasy or the fantasy itself. As I don't have experience to back my feelings/thoughts up I tend to agree with what cupl4fun wrote.