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Sammy & Maryann

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About Sammy & Maryann

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 01/01/1976

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  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    USA
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx

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  1. I really appreciate everyone's input. It helps to get other people's perspectives. In my defense, however, I think some of you didn't actually read my whole story. It was very long, I know. I should have been much more succinct . Maybe you skimmed it, or you were basing your opinions on other people's comments. I'm not the least bit jealous of what happened that evening, nor did I have "post desire aversion". I thought it was cool then and I think it's cool now. Even if her and I never have another threesome will will both be fantasizing about that one for a long time. My problem was that she was expressing definite affection towards him the following day and the day after that. I've got no problem whatsoever with anything sexual that took place, but I had a very hard time with her expressions of affection. I didn't expect that to happen. And she didn't even seem to understand that they were happening. She was suddenly telling me all of these things she wanted to do for him... things that she doesn't even do for me. And I'm not just talking about sexual things. Anyway... We've probably done about 30 hours of talking in the last 10 days (seriously). We've resolved a bunch of issues that both of us have had for years. We're both happier about most things than we were before "Wednesday". This whole thing has forced us to confront some issues that we had been avoiding, and it appears to be working out for the best.
  2. We are new, but I had an MFM threesome experience with my ex-wife and best friend. My current wife has never done any swinging at all.
  3. Like justified couple the idea evolved. I had been married previously and we had a threesome which turned out badly, but at the time it was a big turn on, so the idea had been in my head for years. Maryann and I would talk about our fantasies, and they just gradually evolved.
  4. I guess in my quote that you quoted I wasn't really clear. I'm not concerned that she's thinking those things. I'm concerned that she thinks it might be OK to act on those thoughts. That's what happened with my ex. She decided that the threesome with the friend was cool, then she thought it would be cool to fuck him when I wasn't around. Then she decided to act on those thoughts. Everything was cool up to the point where she acted on those thoughts. But you're right. I've got some stuff to deal with. It helps to hear people tell me that I have issues AFTER I've told them the story from my perspective. I was rather expecting at least ONE PERSON to agree with me. The fact that I can tell the story my way and still have people telling me that I have issues tells me something.
  5. LOL! I guess you had to be there. I didn't just blow up out of the blue. It was a long conversation and I felt like I had explained to her over and over that I wanted it to be about US, not HIM. This was like an hour-long discussion. I admit that at the beginning I wasn't saying exactly what I was thinking. I was hoping that she'd say the things I wanted her to say without me telling her the words I wanted to hear. But an hour or two into it she just didn't seem to be understanding how I was feeling, despite the fact that I was flat-out telling her at this point that the way she was acting was making me feel very insecure, as if she cares more about his feelings than mine. At that point I just wanted her to say that my feelings were obviously more important to her than his, but instead she started telling me how she was concerned about how he felt about the whole experience, and she wanted to apologize to him because she felt like she had teased him by not allowing him to have sex with her. That's when I lost it. It's like she just wasn't getting it and I couldn't make her understand how her statements were making me feel. Things have calmed down. The wall has been repaired, although I can't find the matching paint. We're having discussions now without the yelling. I know that my wife is not my ex, but in the two days immediately after "Wednesday" I was seeing the same emotions that I saw in my ex, which was disconcerting, to say the least. Right now we've both agreed that nothing else is going to happen until we both understand each other's expectations and we've established some clear rules, and laid out lines that shall not be crossed. But speaking of lines, when we were discussing things that should be off limits I told her that I don't want her kissing anyone because to me kissing just seems too personal. She didn't like that and she started arguing with me about it. She said that to her kissing just seemed to be a part of it, and it would be weird screwing someone face-to-face without kissing them. We spent the next ten minutes discussing it, but I wasn't going to change my mind. I felt the way I felt. Then she was like "well, I don't know". That caused another blow-up. I was like "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN, "I don't know"? It's a fucking line I don't want crossed! If we can't agree to lines then it can't happen again!" I mean, it seemed to me to be pretty straightforward. If there was something she wasn't comfortable with, a line she didn't want crossed, I wouldn't say "Well, I don't know". I would say that I completely understand and I don't want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. The part about sexual power and intoxicating is definitely true. But I didn't withdraw permission for anything. I simply explained that I want the focus of the experience to be about her and I, not the other person. I've known this dude for 10 years. He's cool with whatever happens. He knows that his role is just to be an accessory. He's fine with that. I'm not saying that I don't want him to have fun, I do. I just don't want my wife worrying about his feelings, cooking him breakfast, giving him random blowjobs without my knowledge, and doing his laundry for him (she did that, too. Didn't mention it above.) I definitely agree with the "moving too quickly" comment. Although we had fantasized about the threesome, and we were both expecting it to happen, I had no idea she was going to jump right into it that evening. We should have spent a lot more time discussing our expectations and rules ahead of time. There was nothing at all sexually that happened that night that I'm jealous about. I have a bigger dick than him. She didn't spend too much time with him. She didn't kiss him or do anything to make me uncomfortable. The whole experience was very cool and surreal. But her reaction the following day was what caught me off-guard. I was sensing actual affection, and that was disturbing. Women seem to have a much harder time than men keeping "sex" and "love" in two separate categories. I was sensing some definite overlap. Good synopsis, but it seems to downplay the issues that caused me to "blow up". The moment we woke up she said she wanted to get up to make him breakfast. She NEVER gets up to make me breakfast. NEVER. So right from the moment we awoke I was already feeling like she wanted to show him favoritism and do things for him that she doesn't do for me. That just got things off on the wrong foot. BTW, I didn't mention above that sometimes when he comes over to do laundry he'll leave before his laundry is done. In those instances she has taken it out of the dryer the next day and folded if for him. She rarely folds my laundry. It ends up in a pile in the corner of the bedroom floor until I fold it myself. I'm not saying that I think she should fold my laundry. I'm a big boy and I can do my own laundry. But when she folds his laundry and leaves mine on the floor it makes me feel like I'm less important to her than he is. It's a minor thing, I know, but it was a minor little sore point with me that I hadn't even mentioned to her before "Wednesday" happened. The "cook breakfast" comment just compounded that feeling, and it was downhill from there. I think you're right, but I disagree about having control issues. I don't want to control her, I just don't want to feel less important than someone else. In my defense, I never expected things to get out of control. I didn't know that she was going to be completely caught up in what happened. I thought her feelings about it would be similar to mine, i.e. I thought she would think it was a really cool sexual experience, but with no emotional connection. No, everything that night was cool. I had no problem with that stuff, and I still don't. I never felt uncomfortable at all. I was more concerned that she might be feeling uncomfortable. She's not a royal bitch. But I think when she made the comment about going to give him a BJ she wasn't thinking straight. I haven't done a good job of explaining how caught up in this she was. For the next two days she was just ecstatic. She was glowing and exuberant. She told me that "Wednesday" had been consuming her thoughts. She was horny all day at work thinking about it. I'm failing to put her emotions into words. She just had a completely one-track mind for the first day or two, and nothing I was saying to her was having an impact. It wasn't until I "blew up" that she finally realized that something was bothering me. We've actually discussed it just about every day. Neither of us are avoiding the issue. I know it's very hard to be objective when talking about personal things, and I've tried to look at her perspective. As we've been talking I've tried to use an analogy to help her understand my feelings. I say "what if the situation was reversed and we had brought another woman into the relationship. Wouldn't you be pissed if I hopped up the next morning and told you that I was going to go fix HER breakfast?" She agrees that that would bother her. Everything that she's said that has bothered me I've asked how she would feel if the same thing had happened in reverse. When I do that she always agrees that it would bother her greatly. Anyway... Thanks for your input, you two. This isn't really something I can discuss with anyone else because I don't know anyone to whom I want to admit my wife and I had a threesome. All of the discussions have been between her and me, or in my head. It helps to just spill my guts to random blips on the internet and get their (your) feedback. You have given me some things to think about. When I created the user name I was thinking that her and I would read this forum together. Maybe we'll still do that. It would be interesting to read her perspective on what happened.
  6. Wow... I knew this was going to be long, but I didn't know how long. I know some people will be like "too long, didn't read", but in the middle there's a juicy story about my wife's first threesome, so maybe that will encourage some of you to give it an attempt. This is my first time here and, and my first post, and I want to give a little background info first. I'm married to my second wife, who was very inexperienced sexually when we first met. I was only her third and she was in her mid thirties (yeah... I know a lot of chicks will say you're her 3rd or 5th when really you're her 20th, but trust me, I'm sure she was being honest with me.) We've been together almost 10 years now, and I gradually got her to loosen up in regards to sex. During sex I would talk dirty to her and tell fantasies and stuff, and gradually she started to really get turned on by fantasies about threesomes, or her with another woman, or us having sex while people watched, and stuff like that. She's way hot, and she started letting me take pictures of her naked. She's very insecure about her body, but she has absolutely no reason to be. She's 5'3" and about 110-115 pounds. Nice perky boobies, she's never had a baby to give her stretch marks or anything, she's has a gorgeous face, and I'm always seeing dudes scoping her out, but it just doesn't register with her. She's always been insecure. I convinced her to allow me to post some of her pics on a popular voyeur website a few years ago (don't know if I can name it here). The comments were all very positive, with just about the only negative comment being about how I blurred her face. People can rate the contributions from 1 to 5 stars, and she got a 4.76, with numerous people saying they didn't give it 5 stars because her face was blurred. If I hadn't blurred her face I have no doubt she would have finished first place in the category that month. (Narcissistic me wants some credit, too, because of the tasteful and artful photography ) My point here is just that she's gorgeous and sexy, but she had never seen herself that way. People's comments on VW made her start to view herself differently, which was definitely a good thing. It made her less insecure and more willing to try to "show off". So one thing led to another. We'd go shopping and I'd buy her a sexy blouse or a short skirt. At first she was uncomfortable wearing anything the least bit sexy. She had always worn long skirts or baggy pants before we met. Let me just add here that when I first met her I could tell that she was really gorgeous and sexy, she just hid it under frumpy clothes and glasses. She was almost like one of those chicks you see in the stupid teen movies where the jocks are supposed to ask an ugly girl on a date. One of them ends up asking out a chick who they tried to make look ugly, but you know that it would be easy to change her clothes and take off her glasses and turn her into a total babe. But Maryann totally didn't see herself that way. As she's told me, she thought she was pretty, but she didn't think she was sexy. She started to enjoy wearing sexy clothes for me. And by sexy I don't mean slutty (although on the occasional Saturday night I even got her to dress slutty). She was feeling confident about her body. We started working out together. She got even hotter than she already was. We go to the beach pretty regularly and she started wearing skimpier and skimpier bikinis. I think one summer I bought her 8 or 10 different bikinis, each skimpier than the last. Although she wasn't exactly super-confident about her body, she wasn't ashamed, and she knew that I thought it was cool when she dressed sexy, so she would pretty much wear whatever I asked her to wear. As I said, our fantasies had started revolving around situations in which other people were involved. They were strictly fantasies at that time, but I was thinking that maybe they would actually happen some day. I thought it would be really cool if it happened in real life, but she was sticking to the story that they were only fantasies and she wouldn't want it to happen for real. Let me back up just a bit... My first wife and I had gone through a similar transformation, and eventually my best friend was hanging out with us one evening and it ended up turning into a threesome. Both my ex and I thought it was awesome, and we did it a few more times with him, but then one day I came home from work in the middle of the afternoon and caught the two of them fucking on the living room floor. He had been my best friend since middle school, and she was my wife, so I obviously felt incredibly betrayed by both of them. I thought I could trust them, but I was totally wrong. My ex and I remained together for a few more years, but I could never trust her after that and things just spiraled downward. As things got worse and worse she ended up screwing around with other guys, which I learned about, and that put the nail in the coffin. The point of this paragraph is just that I am aware that I have serious trust issues, and I've carried those forward into my current marriage. My current wife is completely trustworthy. In ten years I've never even caught her telling a little white lie (I mean, seriously! Everyone does that, right?) She won't even help me lie to get out of a speeding ticket. We were on vacation together, driving to visit family in another state, and I told her that if I get pulled over I'm going to tell the cop I'm on my way to my father's funeral. That story had gotten me out of a ticket once before. She told me straight up that she wasn't going to lie to help me get out of a ticket. She just doesn't lie about anything, which is really weird. It's a good thing, I know, but I've never met anyone who won't tell a little white lie to get out of a speeding ticket. So now jumping forward to the recent past (about 2 weeks ago), a good friend of mine came over for dinner. He's recently separated from his wife, and he's living alone in their camper on some farmland not far from me. His ex-wife is bleeding him dry. He's a great guy, and both my wife and I really feel sorry for him. He's been coming over two or three nights per week to take showers, wash clothes, have dinner, etc... My wife is very comfortable around him, and I started working his name into our fantasies. At first she didn't want me using his name. She always wanted the third person to be some anonymous, nameless person who was just there for the fantasy. Someone we didn't know and would never see again (in the fantasy). So she was rather taken aback when I first started talking about him in our fantasies. Since she didn't want to think about a "real" person I left his name out of the dirty fantasies I would tell her during sex, but I'm pretty sure she was thinking it was him since I had planted that seed. One day during sex she brought up his name. He was a part of our imaginary fantasy that day (uh... let me just point out that I'm TOTALLY straight. Not interested in the gay thing at all. I just think it would be cool to see my wife have a threesome or something). One thing led to another and before long we were talking about actually having him participate in something. I knew he'd be totally receptive to the idea. He and I had already talked about it, and he totally thinks she's hot as hell. The way Maryann was talking I was pretty sure something would happen in the near future, I just didn't know what or when. It was just a "play it by ear" kinda thing. One evening he was at the house for dinner and a shower. We had finished dinner and were sitting in the living room watching TV. Maryann started kissing me out of the blue. At first it was just light kissing, but then it got rather passionate. He was a little uncomfortable, so he got up to use the bathroom, maybe figuring that we'd stop kissing by the time he came back. Maryann had different plans, though. While he was out of the room she straddled me and started kissing me even more passionately. Then she took off her shirt! She knew he was going to walk back in at any second and catch her topless, making out with me on the sofa, but she didn't care. Not only didn't she care, I guess that's what she was hoping for. He walked back into the room, rather surprised, but not caught totally off guard. He said "do you guys mind if I just watch?" and I told him I think that's what she was hoping for (she has a fantasy about someone else watching us have sex). I was fondling her breasts and sucking on them. After a couple of minutes she stood up in front of me and I grabbed her shorts and pulled them down. She wasn't wearing any underwear, so now she was buck-naked in front of him. She straddled me again and started grinding on me. Then she got on her knees in front of me and started unfastening my pants. One think led to another. She started blowing me, then we started having sex in front of my friend. He was totally into it, and at one point he came and sat next to us for a better view. He asked if he could touch her skin. She didn't reply, so he assumed that wasn't a "no". He started running his hand up and down her back as she straddled me (we were sitting on the sofa). He worked his hands all over her body, stroking her ass and breasts. At one point she said to him that she was sorry and she didn't mean to be a tease, but he wasn't going to get to have sex with her that night, oral or otherwise. I forget exactly what she said, but she basically just let him know that it was OK to touch her, but that's where she drew the line. Well even though she had drawn the line at touching, things kept progressing. She was on her knees in front of me, blowing me and he started touching her wet pussy. She didn't stop him, so then he slid in a finger. Still she didn't stop him. He obviously had a boner straining at his jeans by this point and he unbuttoned and unzipped his pants to allow for more room. He was wearing no underwear and she could see his cock. She made sort of an "mmmm" sound to acknowledge it, and he reached down and kinda pulled it out. She didn't try to touch it or anything, so he just reached down and started slowly rubbing himself as she continued to blow me. At this point He and I are sitting on the sofa and she's on her knees in front of me, sucking me dick. I wanted fuck her doggy style, so I got up and moved behind her. She was left there in front of the sofa off to the side from him, but looking over at his dick as he watched me fuck her doggy-style while he slowly masturbated. After watching him for a couple of minutes, she reached over and started stroking it for him. I was really surprised. She was taking this much farther than I thought she would. I was totally cool with it, though. And sitting here typing this two weeks later, I'm still totally cool with everything that happened. I have not been bothered at all by the stuff that happened that night. But I digress... So she was reaching over, stroking his dick while I fucked her doggy-style. At some point he stood up, kicked off his pants, and sat back down in the same spot. She went right back to stroking his dick. He was being very polite and not really pushing any lines, but I assume that he figured, just like I did, that if she initiated something then it's OK. She then started to shift her position so that she was in front of him. She and I kinda shuffled sideways a little so that she had positioned herself between his legs. From there she was in a much better position to stroke his cock, and suck it, if she decided to, I guess. From my vantage point I couldn't exactly see what she was doing because her head blocked my view, but I knew she wasn't blowing him at this point. Then, she spoke again. She really hadn't said much of anything since we started except to tell him that she was drawing the line short of sex or oral sex. But now she turned her head to the side and asked me if I would mind if she gave him a blow job. He words nearly made me cum. I had to pull out. I told her that it totally turned me on, and if she wanted to it was fine, but I also told her that I didn't want her to do it just because she thought I wanted her to. She didn't say anything in reply and just kept stroking his cock with her hand. I slid my cock back into her pussy and started slowly going in and out. I had to go slow because the whole situation was so erotic. It would have been way too easy to bust a nut and then ruin everything (I lose all interest after I come). I saw her leaning her head forward, so I tilted my head to the side and saw that she was licking his cock. At that point I knew that she was going to blow him, so I just told her that I wanted to watch. I sat down in the chair next to the sofa (it would have been weird to sit next to him) and watched her go to work on his cock. Over the next few minutes she went from licking and stroking him, finally getting to the point where I knew she was going to take him into her mouth. Once his cock was covered with her saliva she placed her lips on the tip and slowly lowered her mouth onto his cock, taking his entire shaft in her mouth and throat before lifting up. She continued to suck his cock for a few more minutes, and then he warned her that she was going to make him cum if she kept going. That kind of snapped her into reality because she didn't want him doing that. She apologized to him and told him that she wasn't going to let him cum in her mouth. And she told him that she couldn't allow him to fuck her, even with a condom. He said it was no big deal. He was thrilled just to get to participate as much as he was. From that point forward we moved to some different positions, usually with my cock in her pussy and her sucking on him. We both licked her pussy for a while. She laid on the floor and we ran our hands all over her, taking turns fucking her with our fingers. She finally wanted to cum (she's a "one and out", like most dudes) so she laid on her back on the sofa, kind of at at angle, while I licked her pussy. Our friend got on his knees on the sofa and lifted her head, guiding his cock into her mouth. After a couple of minutes he told her again that she was going to make him cum. She said "not in my mouth", so when he got really close he pulled out and jacked off on her tits. Once again, I had no problem with this, EXCEPT, I could kinda smell it which grossed me out a little. I continued to focus my tongue on her clitoris and in just a few minutes she came too. Our friend had gotten her some paper towels, so she cleaned herself off. Then the two of us just leaned back together on the couch with me holding her in my arms. Our friend sat down in a chair and the three of us talked for a little while while I stroked my wife's soft skin. She asked me if I wanted to cum right then, but I told her I would after we went to bed. So... Up to this point everything was totally cool. I had no regrets whatsoever, although I was a little concerned that after she woke up the next morning she might regret allowing things to go so far. The next morning we heard him moving around. He had slept in the guest bedroom, or as we call it, the cat's bedroom. She told me that she wanted to get up and fix him breakfast (remember this), but by the time she got out of bed he was already gone. Much to my surprise, rather than regretting what had happened, she was exactly the opposite. She was exuberant. She couldn't stop talking about it. She was already saying that she wanted to do it again, but this time she wanted to make sure he had condoms with him, or that we had condoms, so that he could actually have sex with her. At first I was really happy about this. I was afraid she was going to be ashamed and never want to do it again. Knowing that she had an incredible time made me ecstatic. She came home from work that afternoon and immediately wanted to fuck. During sex she wanted to talk about what was going to happen next time. Her thoughts and words seemed to focus on him, rather than on us. I told her that I thought everything was cool, but I didn't want threesome sex with our friend to become normal sex for us. I wanted it to be an exception, rather than the norm. She seemed too wrapped up in her fantasies to hear what I was saying, though. In the ten years I've known her I had never seen her so exuberant, excited, and aroused. It felt to me like these fantasies were consuming her, and I didn't like it. And that was only day 1. Day two started off kinda normal. I had seen him the day before, and he was cool with everything that had happened. I told Maryann that, but she wanted to talk to him, too. That was fine with me, but then she started telling me what she wanted to tell him. I was torn, because on one hand I didn't want to be consumed by jealousy, but on the other hand it was seeming to me as if she was favoring his feelings over mine. To me, the "encounter" was nothing but a sexual experience. I didn't want it to be anything more than that for me OR her. I didn't want her to have an emotional connection with him because I was a little worried that the same thing that happened with my first wife would happen all over again. But every time she talked about him I could hear the thrill in her voice. And I know it wasn't my imagination. You might be thinking that, but it most definitely wasn't my imagination. Then, on the afternoon of day two she came into the living room and told me that she wanted to go over and talk to him, since she hadn't seen him since "Wednesday" as we are now calling it. The way she said it, it seemed clear to me that she wanted to go talk to him without me present. She saw that I was bothered by that and quickly back-tracked, saying that she meant "we" should go talk to him. But that was the problem I was having. She kept saying he, he, he, rather than we, or me. I felt like I was being left out. We had a long discussion (argument) and everything seemed to be resolved. We didn't go see him right then. But a few hours later, in a moment when she was feeling horny, she said "Wouldn't it be cool if I went over there and just surprised him with a blowjob?" I about lost it. We got in a huge fight. I was like "FUCK NO THAT WOULDN'T BE COOL! Did you not hear anything I said a couple of hours ago? It's supposed to be about me and you! US! Not him! You only want to focus on him!" Realizing what she had said she tried to back-track again, saying that she meant it would be cool if the TWO of us went over there and she gave him a blowjob. Once again I started screaming because she still wasn't getting it, PLUS it seemed as if she was simply trying to cover her faux pas. "THAT STILL WOULDN'T BE COOL!" I screamed. "WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? STAND IN THE CORNER WITH MY HANDS IN MY POCKET AND WATCH YOU SUCK HIS DICK??? DON'T YOU GET HOW DEMEANING THAT IS???" That proceeded into a huge fight. I punched holes in the wall and bloodied my knuckles on a stud (try not to his the stud when punching holes in the wall). Eventually we calmed down and were able to discuss things in a civil manner. But even though at the end of the conversation, although she was saying that she saw things from my perspective and she wants this type of thing to focus on the two of us and not the third party, I couldn't help but think she was still enamored with my friend and she was just saying what she needed to say to calm me down. We've had a few other arguments since then. I can't seem to get her to understand that I'm not jealous about what happened, I'm jealous about the things she was doing and saying afterwards. I'm jealous that her focus after the fact seemed to be on him rather than on us. I'm jealous that the morning after it happened she was going to make HIM breakfast rather than make US breakfast. I'm jealous that SHE wanted to go talk to him rather US going to talk to him. I'm jealous that she thought it would be cool to go surprise him with a blow job, apparently while leaving me at home or maybe while I just stood there watching or something. Either way, in her fantasy I was out of the picture. She's made other similar comments, but now she seems to have figured out what not to say to avoid upsetting me. But now I can't help to wonder if she's still thinking those types of things are cool and she just doesn't want to say them to avoid upsetting me. Everything that has happened after the fact has put a huge damper on the possibility of it happening again. While she was totally into it the day after and wanted it to happen again as soon as possible, now she has backed off because she thinks I can't handle it. I've explained that "it" was awesome and I'd be happy to do it again, but I don't want to do it again if the focus of what happens isn't on the two of us. She's like "I don't want to be unfair to him" and I'm like "WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT HIM! IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT US! He's thrilled just to get to participate in any way. He would have been thrilled just to watch you strip for me, or to just watch us have sex. STOP WORRYING ABOUT HIS FEELINGS AT THE EXPENSE OF MINE!" So anyway, that's it. I know you're only getting my perspective, but I've tried to relay the story in an as objective manner as possible. Do you think I'm being overly sensitive? Do you have any advice? We'd both like to do it again, but I don't want to feel like she's falling for the other guy, and she doesn't want to feel like I'm jealous, angry, and possessive.
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