I don't particularly cringe at the prospect of a separate room swap, but that may be because I'm poly (open to other relationships outside of my marriage) and not jealous at all (I don't need to watch my wife with someone else to assuage fear).
That being said, because my wife and I haven't swapped at all and are exploring together, we both agree that we'd prefer to be together if it does happen—a shared experience does a great deal to reduce complications afterward. Unless I care very deeply about the person I'm playing with, I expect most of my pleasure would come from watching my wife enjoy herself, making a same-room swap an ideal situation. I don't think I'd even necessarily have to be involved to feel good about it. Such is the power of compersion, I suppose.
