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BePassionate

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    3
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15 Good

About BePassionate

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 07/31/1975

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    California
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. If I go one more time, it brings up another question...should I tell her that ahead of time? "Hey, you didn't seem really into this the last couple of times. If it still isn't working for you next time, I don't want to do this anymore." On one hand, honesty is a good thing and it might make her relax a bit. Of course, it also just might make her fake it a little more to keep from disappointing everyone. FWIW, this is also the first time we've ever done anything with people we really knew. Our previous experiences were more club-type environments, where we didn't have any sort of relationship with the people we were playing with. I've known this couple for years and care about her as a friend, so I'm a bit worried about doing something that she'll later resent.
  2. Sorry about the length, but I've been thinking about this a lot and just sort of laid it all out there. My problem is that I really have TWO answers from all of this: If she's not really into it, I should stop it now and not be a party to pressuring her into something she doesn't want to do. A person shouldn't need to be "convinced" to participate in this sort of thing...they either want it, or they don't. Of the four people involved, I'm the only one who seems to be questioning whether or not to continue. The other three, including the woman herself, say that we should continue until she gets more into it. It's possible that I'm just being overprotective and reading way too much into this, and that I should just go with it until she actually says that she wants to stop. By stopping it when she says she wants to continue, I'm being a bit paternalistic (my wifes words). I'm trying to "save" her when she says that she doesn't want to be saved. Strong arguments can be made for both answers.
  3. My wife and I have been together for about 19 years. We did some group sex early on (before we were married) and some clubs and house parties about 10 years ago. Aside from two MFM threesomes in the decade since, we've been pretty inactive in the Lifestyle. A couple of months ago we got drunk with another couple we've been friends with for years, and after a while it came out in the conversation. They were shocked at first, and then really interested. We ended up spending hours talking about everything from STD's to jealousy. A few days later the husband came to me and asked whether we were interested in doing anything with them. I discussed it with my wife, and after another discussion with the four of us together ended up deciding to do a MFMF soft swap. Within 20 minutes, he and my wife had proceeded to full swap. His wife seemed shocked at first, but then asked whether I wanted to do the same. When I said yes, we went full swap as well. The thing was...she really didn't seem that into it. No kissing, no foreplay, no touching, nothing. I couldn't even get her to try an interesting position, just straight old missionary in-and-out. When they called up the next day to talk about how much they'd enjoyed it, I just wrote it off to either nervousness on her part, or plain old lack of skill in bed. So when they asked to try it again two weeks ago, I didn't hesitate to oblige. Same thing. He and my wife went at it like teenagers, while she seemed uninterested. She actually recoiled a bit when I tried to lick her boob, and pushed me away when I tried to use my fingers. Once more, she just wanted the plain old missionary in-and-out. At that point, I decided that she wasn't into it, and tapped in with my wife (who is ALWAYS great in bed). I was a bit shocked when I looked over a minute later to see my friend and his wife going at it like madmen. Over the next 30 minutes, they pretty much did everything you might imagine...every method and every orifice. It turns out that she's NOT frigid or boring in bed at all. Just with me. I called her up the next day and asked her about it. She said that I was good in bed, but couldn't mentally get into the whole swapping thing and really only did it because it's what her husband wanted. After saying that, she quickly backpedaled and said that she DID enjoy it and wanted to keep doing it, but that she needed "time to warm up to the whole thing". The husband sent me a text yesterday, wanting to know if we're into doing something over the weekend of the 4th. They have a cabin on a nearby lake and wanted to do an overnighter. I called his wife up to talk about the logistics and gently probe her interest, and she immediately said that she was looking forward to it. My gut is still telling me to say no, because I've got this feeling that she's being pushed into it and I'm really not comfortable with that idea. My wife is telling me not to worry about it, and that she's just still nervous and is getting used to it. On top of that, my wife learned yesterday that the woman was apparently a virgin when they married, which makes me only the second guy she's ever slept with. My wife says that it's pretty natural for her to be unsure of herself, because she has so little experience with guys. While I can see her point and understand that she might be right, I'm not sure that it overrides the fact that she may be getting pressured into doing this. If not by him, then by her own desire to make him happy. He wants to do it, his wife SAYS she wants to do it, my wife tells me that I'm reading too much into this, and that I should just do it if she's OK with it...but I STILL have this dirty feeling about the whole thing like I'm taking advantage of her. What would you do
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