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live4themusic

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About live4themusic

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 09/26/1985

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Single Male
  • Location
    Memphis, TN
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. Thanks for the responses guys! And anyone who read that whole thing I'm sorry I put you through that.. Brief update: I've moved on, she's moved on, she is actually maybe about to start dating the friend I mentioned in the near-novel I wrote up there ^. I'm going to just remain friends with her (without benefits). Sorry to barge in here since I'm completely uninvolved with the swinging scene.
  2. This isn't exactly a question concerning swinging, which I have never done, but it's something I felt could be addressed by the readers of this forum more appropriately than anywhere else. CLIFF NOTES: Girl had sex with friend (in open 'relationship') Girl told me condoms were used after which I had sex with her again I found out from friend condoms were not used ??? FULL VERSION (Long and incoherent read, sorry): I started seeing this 20-year old girl recently (I am 25) who told me originally she had an open relationship with her boyfriend but that it mainly means that she cheats on him and she suspects he may have cheated on her, and that she believes they have an unspoken understanding. We started sleeping together and immediately she was lying to him when he called her while she was with me, making up details of where she was, what she was doing... but not mentioning anything about seeing me or that she was sleeping with anyone at all. I personally consider myself muddled somewhere between poly and swinging but have never really done either.. I am completely on board with the tenet of honesty that both lifestyles depend on to work, but not necessarily interested in commitment to exclusion in a relationship... to be honest I'm not sure exactly where I stand but do know that monogamy isn't for me (even though I'm not exactly just banging chicks left and right). However, I was appalled at this girl's behavior towards her boyfriend and told her so and that I thought that the right thing to do was to be honest with him (which never happened). We talked about our past relationships and she admitted to me that she has pretty much just cheated on all her boyfriends, and that that's the way she generally likes to do things because she doesn't like being exclusive either but does like the security of having a boyfriend. I explained to her how I am similar in that I don't like being exclusive, but I think one of the most important things in any relationship, or friendship even, is honesty. She seemed fascinated by the way I talked about how I'm not jealous and even for happy for a partner who gets off from sex with other people as well as me, and over time she expressed interest in being in an open relationship with me (having never really been honest with her boyfriend, who went to jail). I told her I'm unwilling to date her because that would require me to trust her, and also a couple other personal lifestyle issues on her part that I could not tolerate in a partner (which she needs to deal with anyway). She countered that she would have no need to lie to me because I have no problem with her sleeping with other people anyways. I said I would think about it but first she have to start being honest with other people in addition to me (I believed she was being honest with me). Fast forward a little bit more and we are still not 'dating' but are hanging out A LOT and she is telling me she is in love with me and I am starting to realize I love her as well and also growing to trust her. But of course trouble rears it's ugly head and things don't really work out like they should. My friend Rob who had gone through a recent break-up had expressed interest in her, and I had told both her and him separately that I wouldn't at all be bothered if they slept together. In fact I may have encouraged it because I knew he really was trying to get laid and really was attracted to this girl. Well about a week ago, after a nice sex session I had to go back to work, and Rob came over to hang out with her and smoke pot (since they are both into that though I am not), and she pretty much asked him for sex. I should have mentioned earlier that this girl is EXTREMELY high sex drive and can ONLY get off from vaginal penetration of some sort by another guy or girl other than herself... she is unable to masturbate and never has been, so when she gets horny, which she does, A LOT, it's almost like she has an uncontrollable desire to have a dick in her. Well she told me when I got back from work that she had slept with Rob and seemed genuinely surprised that I didn't care, because she is so used to her boyfriends not being ok with it. She also told me that they had used a condom, which I was glad for because we had been going bareback and she had brought up with me that she wanted me to use a condom if I slept with anyone else and tell her about it immediately and that she would do the same. We had sex that night again. A few days ago, I came to find out from rob that they did not actually use a condom during sex, and that she had lied to me about that, and then had sex with me afterwards. I wouldn't have even cared if she had told me the truth because I trust that Rob is clean, but I think the important thing was that she should have told me the truth and let me make that decision for myself. The thing is, now I don't know if I can even trust anything this girl has said to me... if she lied to me about that, what else might she lie to me about? So I told her I had to stop seeing her and may not be having sex with her any more, and if I do will definitely be using a condom. She texted me saying she was crying uncontrollably and was more in love with me than she had ever been with anyone else and she feels SO bad about the situation and that I need to give her another chance because she's never met anyone like me who she feels like she can be so open.. but I don't know if I can trust her again. Sorry for the off-topic ramble, but I was really wondering if anyone here had any advice on the subject, and if it is possible to rebuild trust in this kind of situation, with someone who has a history like hers.
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