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butterfly1967

Registered
  • Content Count

    3
  • Joined

Community Reputation

15 Good

About butterfly1967

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 07/24/1967

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    couple
  • Location
    Minnesota
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. Thanks everyone. When I was with the other couple I thought then and still do, I was cheating, I was with them 5-6 times trying to find something but not sure what it was i did want to get even with him some how, was angree that I wasn't enough for him. I was just plain stupid. All this and we weren't even exclusive to each other. He wanted to try it all and I did it behind his back and lied about it. To say the least I have no back bone. Thought I could handle it, thought if I said no I would be enough for him, he would give it up for me. But I was wrong. And it kills me to see him with other women. There is noting special in the bed room anymore, sex is just sex now. And if I say something to him he says I owe him because he has not had exactly what I had, sex move for sex move. He's done it all with other women in front of me but only one time he did it all with one woman but he wants it multible times with the same woman. I'm not trying to blame it all on him I did my fare share, but how do I resolve this? I have read every word you have writen and am trying to figure out what to do. I am trying to tell you everything, to tell the truth, so again I thank you all for your help.
  2. Thank you for trying to help. He didn't know when I did it, and I didn't like it then either. I just thought it would be my secret, he feels I took away his fantisy. This happened over four years ago and I have been paying for it for almost three years. It's never enough, Its all he seams to think about wants to meet people every chance we can every weekend and if we don't he's unbearable for days. As far as quiting that will never happen. He wants to meet a single lady us be with her a few times and then it will only be brought up every once in awhile. We can't find the right lady so it will never stop I don't believe any of it will ever stop or even lighten up. Not with how much time he spends on the site, it's everyday. Always looking and believes I should do the looking too. To make it all up to him. I know I made a huge mistake when I did what I did and by not telling him right away. I was scared and got caught up in something that made me feel wrong and didn't like but didn't know how to stop. I was afraid and lied to him because I didn't want to loose him, and I didn't want to do this but I knew he did. Thought if I said no it would stop.
  3. Swinging is killing our relationship. I only do it because I (we) feel I owe him. He started this 5-6 years ago but I went behind his back and did it alone a few times with the same couple. Guess what I was looking for was friendship in the wrong place. But how long do I have to pay? Nothing means the same between us nothing is special anymore. At least that is how I feel. I've tried talking to him and he knows how I feel but it doesn't stop. He lays on the guilt trip. When we are with other people there is always an excuse why it wasn't good enought, he's never fullfilled. So we keep doing it. I want to leave him but the guilt won't let me. I do still love him, just not the same as before. Plus he spends alot of time on an adult web site, which makes me feel like dirt and not enough for him. He says he's just looking and that I do please him. I'm hurting so bad and am totaly lost. I'm getting to the point I hate him, I already do hate myself. But I just can't let go. Can someone please, please help me.
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